Fallout: Illinois (A Fan-Fiction)

[Seasick]

In my last (discontinued) Fan Fic (Topside Chronicles) I mentioned I would be working on a fallout fan fic. While i'm not entirely donme, I decided to start it up. So, I give you:


Fallout: Illinois


Chapter 1:


Jacob Alans woke up, the light pouring into his eyes. He slowly sat up and wiped his eyes. His room was as bright as the sun...or so he'd been told. Jacob looked through his drawers...Like he had anything else than his jumpsuit. He put his jumpsuit on, then sat down in a wooden chair. Jacob was a resident of Vault 47, a Vault reserved for Death Row inmates and prisoners with life sentances. A Security Gaurd walked by, A Riot Shield and Police Baton ready for action. "Damn..." said Jacob to himself, "I wish he was coming for me."


Suddenly, another guard walked by, armed with a Revolver. Then another man walked by, He had wavy Black hair, a scruffy looking goatee, and a tan. He stood at about 5'2 Feet high, and he had a furrowd brow. He was Vault 47's Overseer. And he qualified for the #1 douchebag in the United States. That is, if there were any left out there. Jacob say the guard with the Riot Shield insert a card into some sort of mechanism next to Jacob's door. Suddenly, the door opened. The Overseer walked in, and said to Jacob, "Get off your ass and come with us." "Right to the point, huh?" Jacob Responded, "I like that." "No funny buisness, Alans. This is serious." The gun carrying guard said. "No funny buisness, huh? I'm listening now." Jacob replied. "Look, Jacob...If you don't help us, everyone in this Vault is going to die." The Overseer said. "Isn't that what you told that woman who wouldn't do you?" replied Jacob rather sarcastically.

The guard with the police baton whacked Jacob across the face "Ah, ****! Okay, Okay! What is it?" Jacob said, rubbing the spot on his cheek where he was hit. The Overseer looked Jacob in the eye and said rather grimly, "Our Water Chip...It short circuited." Jacob said rather calmly, "And you want me to get a new one, right?" The Overseer sighed, "To make a long story short, yes. Look, just come with us, and we'll tell you what you need to do."

Chapter 2 coming soon. Tell me what you think so far!

[Grathius22]

A broken water chip? Really...

He should have been in the vault that had a panther in it...

Or the one with 999 women and 1 man.

[Seasick]

A broken water chip? Really...

He should have been in the vault that had a panther in it...

Or the one with 999 women and 1 man.

Trust me, the cheesy and cliche reason to leave to Vault will be made up for. I'm planning on including some little easter eggs, and a great story, and action.

And, is that a Tauren in a Terran marine suit?

[Grathius22]

Trust me, the cheesy and cliche reason to leave to Vault will be made up for. I'm planning on including some little easter eggs, and a great story, and action.

And, is that a Tauren in a Terran marine suit?

Yes, yes indeed. I am glad you noticed, good sir.

[Seasick]

And with that,


Chapter 2:

Jacob followed the two guards and the Overseer down the bright blue metalic hallways, down a few flights of stairs, and into a large room. Jacob looked around. He had never been in this room before. An Elderly man in a lab coat looked up, and limped over to Jacob. "So, your the lucky one who'll be savin' our butts?" "Yes, Sir." replied Jacob. "Then you'll need this." replied the Elderly scientist. He tossed Jacob a police bation and a Hunting Rifle. Jacob started for the door controls, but the Scientist stopped him.

"Hey, now! Before you go, I have an idea for where you can start looking for a new chip. It's another Vault in the area. It's called Vault 43." "Anything that can help me get there?" Jacob said. "Oh, yes! Here, put this on your wrist. It's called a Pip-Boy 3000. I marked the location of Vault 43 on there already. You can check your current bodily status, and if there happens to be a radio station in the vicinity, you can tune in." "Uh, thanks." Jacob replied.



The Elderly Scientist then pulled a lever, and an alarm went off. The Vault Door slid to the right, revealing a cave passage and a rusted door. Smoke filled the passage, and Jacob began walking to the rusted door. When he reached the door, he looked back, only to see the Overseer's smug, bastard face. Jacob pushed a button, Hunting Rifle at the ready, and the door screeched open at the same time the Vault door slammed shut.






Chapter 3 won't be out until tonight or tommorow. I posted chapter 2 because I was bored -.-

[Big Bad Sister]

EDIT: Ignore, please.

[Grathius22]

Oh yeah...

I had this problem.

You need to make a new paragraph when a different person speaks.

The were pig approached. Ready to attack. "Ready, fool!?", The were- pig yelled.

"No! I'm not.", yelled the man.

[Seasick]

Thanks for the tip, Grathius.


And now,

Chapter 3:


The Bright sun hurt Jacob's eyes at first, but after some time, Jacob was used to it. He had run for about a mile, following the marker, when he was approached by a man. The man was filthy, smelled horrid, and was very short. About 4'4. There was duct tape around his mouth. The man was screaming. Jacob slowly peeled the duct tape off of the man's mouth. "My god, thank you!" The man exclaimed.

"Uh, your welcome." replied Jacob. "May I ask you something?" The man was rubbing his lips, sore from the tape, then he nodded. "Where's the closest town?" Jacob asked.

"Closest Town, huh?" said the man. "Uh, that'll be New Grove, just south of here." The man pointed. "Thanks." said Jacob, and he continued on his way. Suddenly, Jacob's Pip Boy made a strange noise. On the screen, the Pip Boy read, New Radio Frequency! Jacob selected the Data menu, then selected the new Frequency. Jacob's Pip Boy made an odd click-like sound and then burst to life. A voice could barely be heard over the static. "Hey there, folks! Nighthawk here, bringin' you those timeless old classics." Then a song started up. It was Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy! Static was a small price to pay, now there was music. And The Outside wouldn't be so dark and drab anymore. Suddenly, there was a sound coming from nearby. Jacob switched off the radio, and pulled out his police baton, so he could conserve ammo. Silence. Jacob continued moving south, when there was another noise. "...Breathing..." Jacob said, ducking for cover behind a nearby rock. The breathing became louder, and soon, big heavy footsteps could be heard. A hand wrapped around the rock, and a big, ugly head appeared. The creature grabbed Jacob and flung him against a nearby boulder. Jacob screamed in pain. The creature roared with excitement, showing it's big, sharp teeth. The creature charged towards Jacob, it's large horns as sharp as knives. Jacob dodged just in time, and the creature ran right through the boulder. Suddenly, there was a gunshot, and the creature yelped in pain, grabbing it's chest. It's huge claws wrapping around it's back, like it was giving itself a hug. Blood spurted from it's chest and splattered across the ground. Jacob, recovering from dodging, looked up. A middle aged, obese man was aiming down the barrels of a Shotgun. Right before he dealt a finishing blow, he coldly said aloud in a calm, threatning, yet quiet tone:


"Do svidaniya."

And the creature's head was blown off of it's shoulders.


Chapter 4 coming soon. Give me some feedback, tell me what you think.

[Grathius22]

Was pretty good.

Maybe make more than one large paragraph. But pretty good...

Kinda moves too fast, I suppose.

[Seasick]

Was pretty good.

Maybe make more than one large paragraph. But pretty good...

Kinda moves too fast, I suppose.

I'll take your advice for Chapter 4, thanks :-D


PS: In what way is it moving too fast? Could you explain?

[Grathius22]

I'll take your advice for Chapter 4, thanks :-D


PS: In what way is it moving too fast? Could you explain?

The story seems to progress too fast. Things happen too quickly.

Examples:

That duck tape mouth man could have had more detailed looks.

Deathclaw, I think... could have killed him, so we know where he went off to.

The wasteland could be a little more detailed.

Weather.

Stuff like that.

[Seasick]

Okay, thanks for the input

[Grathius22]

Okay, thanks for the input

Hope I'm not discouraging you or anything! I would love to see more, I'm just a detail freak.

[Seasick]

No, it's fine, really! I enjoy little tips here and there

[Grathius22]

No, it's fine, really! I enjoy little tips here and there

Cool. I try and keep up. I won't let you slack off .

Can't wait for chapter 4!

[Seasick]

And now, CHAPTER 4!

Jacob slowly sat up, his jumpsuit torn, his back sore. The Blue, Sunny, cloudless skies and the howling wind adding to the atmosphere. Jacob saw that the obese man who had killed the monster was sitting against the wall of a nearby shopping center, smoking a cigarette. "Privyet..." the man said, once he saw Jacob had sat up. "My name is Max." Max had rested his Double Barrel Shotgun against the wall. He was balding, wore a White, filthy shirt, torn blue jeans, and big brown boots. He had sunburned skin and grey, pearcing eyes. Max started walking towards Jacob, who had just realized he had nearly passed out on the hot concrete road. Jacob tried to scoot away from Max slowly, but Max slammed his boot down on Jacob's hand. Jacob screamed in pain. Jacob looked up, fighting the urge to kill this man.


"Now..." began Max, taking his foot off of Jacob's hand. "That's no way to treat someone who just saved your ass." Jacob responded, "From what I can tell, you sound like a Russian." Max said, "And Proud of it." After saying this, Max pulled out a bottle of some sort of Russian beer and chugged it down. Then he put it back in some sort of bag he was carrying over his shoulder.


"You wouldn't happen to know how far New Grove is, would you?" Jacob asked. "Your kidding me, right?" Max said with a chuckle. "I live there. Come on, i'll take you the rest of the way. But be careful. This here is Deathclaw territory. Oh, and to be safe, I took all of your weapons. Don't try anything till' we arrive at New Grove's gates, and I just might give them back."

After about 15 minutes of walking, New Grove was in sight. There was some sort of front gate. Max approached the gate and banged on it with his big fist. "Denver Bronco, Echo Charlie Echo Charlie." A man appeared behind the gate. "Max, get your ass out of here. You know you ain't welcome after what happened." said a man. He wore Steel Armor and a Bandana with glasses. He was pale white, and had a orange goatee. "But Jeremy, He's starving." Max pleaded. "I bet he's got lots of caps." he added. Jeremy scratched his head, fiddled with his goatee a little, then said "Okay, your in. But cause any trouble..."



at this point to muscular African American men, both with mohawks and Sledgehammers showed up behind Jeremy. "And escort you out. In a body bag, if necessary. Jacob nodded, then whispered to Max, "Keep my weapons." Max nodded. "I can't follow you in, you know." Max said. Jacob gasped. "Why'd you tell me you lived here, then?" Jacob asked. "You know I might as well should help someone when i'm heading in a direction of civilization, right?" Max replied. Jacob sighed and said, "I guess so. Wish me luck." Max replied, "Luck!" Then let out a sarcastic laugh, then he walked off.

[Grathius22]

Pretty good. Pretty good.

[Seasick]

Chapter 5 is here!



Jeremy and Jacob walked down a street, on both sides of them were numerous supermarkets and shacks. "So, what brings you out to New Grove?" Jeremy asked. "Oh, nothing. Just exploring." Of course, this was a lie. Jacob wasn't sure who Jeremy was. He could be a Mercenary for all Jacob knew. Jeremy slowly nodded, and then said, "Why would you want to come out here? This is hell!" Jacob responded, "I'm trying to settle." Jeremy chuckled, then said "Your not fooling anyone, Vault Dweller. I see those digits printed on your back like a serial number." Jacob sighed. "Okay, you got me! I'm a Vault Dweller! So....whatcha gonna do? Shoot me?" Jeremy laughed. "Sounds good." Jacob started to cower, but Jeremy laughed. "You fell for it! Ha!" just then, another man walked by. He had a Orange mohawk and a Goatte. He was tall and pale. He wore a Leather jacket and jeans with brown loafers. He had a hard grip on a baseball bat he was carrying. "Oh, hey Dutch." Jeremy said, looking at the man. Dutch nodded, and made a dismissive gesture to Jeremy.

Jeremy ran back to the front gate. Dutch turned to Jacob, and held out his hand. "Dutch." Jacob chuckled. "So I gathered.". Jacob shook Dutch's hand, and just then noticed Dutch was wearing black fingerless gloves. "So....I see Jeremy already gave you the grand tour. But I am considered the leader of New Grove. We're actually sort of like a Headquarters for Merchants, Traveling Salesmen, that sort of thing. We've had a few settlers settle down here in the last few years. Like Brenda.....She's mine." Jacob said, "So...you hire her?" Dutch gasped, "Oh no. It's entirely her choice to be my partner in crime.....and bed sheets." Dutch let out a sort of...cackle. "Anyway, your welcome to rest up at the Super-Duper-Mart. We've made it into a Hotel. Bullseye Marketplace is still serving it's original purpose. And I Hate Mondays is a Resturaunt and Bar. Any questions?" Jacob asked, "Anything I can do to help?" Dutch responded, "Well, there are a few things...."









Sorry for any grammar issues. I'm kind of tired and i'm not as accurate. Anyway, Chapter 6 will be out soon.

[I-ChooseTheImpossible]

I know it's minor but in my opinion the sky should be dull and grey opposed to blue and sunny.

[Big Bad Sister]

EDIT: Ignore, please.

[I-ChooseTheImpossible]

Pathetic fallacy?

If your refering to my use of the word 'dull'
dull *(dl)
adj. dull·er, dull·est
1. Intellectually weak or obtuse; stupid.
2. Lacking responsiveness or alertness; insensitive.
3. Dispirited; depressed.
4. Not brisk or rapid; sluggish: Business is dull.
5. Not having a sharp edge or point; blunt: a dull knife.
6. Not intensely or keenly felt: a dull ache.
7. Arousing no interest or curiosity; boring: a dull play.
8. Not bright or vivid. Used of a color: a dull brown.
9. Cloudy or overcast: a dull sky.
10. Not clear or resonant: a dull thud.

Not sure what else you could be refering to.