this is a poem called ode of the bigdaddy please tell me what you think

[Syaoran]

please dont be mean....hope you enjoy


ODE OF THE BIGDADDY
By: Brad.A.P (syoaran)
Stomping, pounding, here comes BigDaddy
Down the stairs and to the vent
From which his instincts had him sent
He pounds and pounds, little sister hear his call
Pounding, pounding he does urge to protect his little one from the scourge
The small figure appears in shadow and rides on his shoulders
He hears the little one atop say “Angels Stop!”
And so he did as his little one instructed and set her down with a gentle touch
She collected the Adam and her daddy protected her with his life as instinct commanded
He fought and fought for his little one’s life as the splicers came more as if demanded
He heard his little baby scream as a filthy splicer held her hair
In red hot furry BigDaddy did glare
At the filthy splicer holding his dearest little one’s hair
With drill in hand and rivet gun in the other in hopes to recover
His little girl who screamed in pain as the filthy splicer held her in vain
To steal Adam for his own gain
Alas his struggles were in vain for BigDaddy came to save his little girl who struggled in pain
He dealt with the splicer with great ease
Then he took his little one to the vent to let her rest from the night she had spent gathering Adam with her BigDaddy
With her gone through the vent BigDaddy went
To his endless trudging through the halls of Rapture flooding

enjoy

[Gin Ichimaru]

horrable just horrable you shouldent even be alive(troll impersonation) but seresly verry good cant wait to hear your big sister poem

[ExpiredPepBar]

Aww, it was adorable. I always adore the Daddies for their unconditional devotion to the Little Sisters.

[Syaoran]

horrable just horrable you shouldent even be alive(troll impersonation) but seresly verry good cant wait to hear your big sister poem

you will have it soon i have been working on one lol

[Eleanor-Lamb]

*Thumbs up* "I enjoyed it!"

[The_Iceman_Cometh]

I think its great but it kind of sounds like a walk through Disney Land. I think it needs s darker tone. It is good.

[BioShock Freak]

You already posted this. Please stick to that thread and don't make duplicate threads. Also, make sure you're posting this in the right forum.

~Mari.