its good dude nice writing
its good dude nice writing
Sigh...are we the only ones here?
Whatever, I might not finish this series if there is no one listening. Anyway, the next installment is up next.
This was the most scared and confused I have ever been in my life. For hours I was alone on Atlas's small submarine, surrounded by faint light, and now, the silence was gone, and the lights were red. In front of me were at least ten little girls, all of them looking at me with a different feeling, happiness, hope, fear, anger, pity, I was horrified. I shook and I fell down onto the floor.
"GO AWAY!" I roared into the crowd of children. The angry one stepped forward, in her hand was the same straw tool in the hands of the addicts and the lost boys, the tool used to remove adam.
"You really want us gone..." She growled at me, "Well, honestly I don't want to be here either, but now that I am, I have a lot to show you...tell me... do you like your power mister?" She asked in a false kind voice.
"Wh-how are you here? I have been in this submarine the whole time...HOW COULD YOU BE HERE?" I cried.
She let out a single chuckle, "That is the question of the day, is it not?" This girl was way to mature to be as young as she looked, she was speaking as if this was an interrogation, little girls should never know the art of interrogation! "The answer, mister, is that we have been here for a long time..."
"Were you waiting on this boat?"
"What do you think, no!"
I shook, as the girl's eyes began to glow. They glowed a howling red, as if she wanted my blood more than anything else. She stabbed me with the tool, strait into my side. I cried out as I felt the pain surge upward, it felt as if jagged metal shards were creeping upwards towards my head. The pain stopped and another little girl had grabbed the other one. "Sissy, don't hurt him!" A blue eyed one cried.
"We have suffered! We suffered for his power his strength why should he not suffer for our amusement!" Sissy roared at the younger one. The younger one sat down and cried, an eerie bawling that shook the ship, the others looked at her not changing the emotions written on their faces. Sissy turned to her, "What is your problem Lizzy?"
Lizzy sobbed, "I don't wanna see any more death, any more pain, I want it gone!"
Sissy smiled, a mischevious expression, "Yeah, okay, I promise you will see no suffering after this man." She turned her attention back to me and smiled, "Now do you understand, Bernard?" I couldn't move, I was much too horrified, for in the darkest part of my mind, I had a small idea of what she was talking about. "To put it simply," A giant mechanical roar rang in my ears and she flew into different pieces, each spinning off in a different direction, coloring the room an even darker red. "You felt our heartbeats earlier, we're the adam!"
Now my heart was racing, had I gone insane, or was this real. If it was real, the world might have to wait for a while. If it was real...who would stop Typhon? I looked into Sissy's red eyes and found myself in a new place, I found myself locked in a cage, with Sissy staring in. Then I heard a rattling above, and scorpions poured into the cage. I felt there poison slowly killing me, but I didn't know what I could do, save scream. And so I did, but soon I could scream no longer as the level of scorpions rose up to my neck. Their rattling and clicking drowned out my voice, but not my fear. Everything went black.
I opened my eyes and found myself somewhere new. I was strapped to a lab table, and the little sisters were watching. Sissy came towards me, but she was big, very big, almost as big as me. "You will be my plaything...forever, like we were to the city, nothing but broken dolls!" She picked up a drill and inserted it to my cheek. I let out a gurgled cry, "Why?"
Sissy stopped and frowned, "Because you are using us, for war, look at us we are children," As I looked at the young faces I heard her go on, "We never liked war, all we wanted were our parents, but war deprived us of them, instead giving us fake companions, and as we grew to them, we were robbed of our humanity! You should die!"
"I NEVER ASKED FOR YOUR POWER!" The drill stopped...
"What?" Sissy said, "You lie, and now you die!" The drill revved again, and I new she was right, it was time for me to die.
We have alot of views, but not so many posts...come one guys...help out me and the other writers.
dude i loved that. it's fantastic.
Ill give feedback on modays, Im AFK on the weekends for the most part. I still havent read your stuff yet, waiting till im at work =)Originally Posted by Justlookaway
Okay some feedback would be great!!!
no please i beg of you finish it your stuff is gold
I slept through the whole day and into the night. It was hot as hell and since this place is underwater you think they might have the decency to keep it cool. I got up and grabbed a spare revolver I had laying around. I felt the urge of me calling out for Betty. No, Betty is dead. Your all alone, Duncan. Alone. The though that makes me, a soldier, scared like a ungunned private on a battlefield.
I got up and headed to the bathroom to take a leak. After I did what I had to do the lights began to flicker. I headed outside to find a Big Daddy walking by. I wasn't scared though. Not at all. You don't bother them, they wont bother you. Thats the rule.
I walked along the halls looking for anything that interested me. Then I got a look at some security bots and I thought I'd have some fun. Yes, I was drunk and yes i forgot bullets hurt like a b****. So I pissed them off and the rained bullets on me. I saw a crack in a water pipe so I zapped it and the pipe burst knocking the bots and my drunken *** to the floor. I coughed a little and began to chuckle. While acting like a idiot I heard footsteps on the ceiling. Crap. I shot at it but it was too late. The splicer was above me roaring and drowning my head in a pool of water.
He began to talk but I couldn't hear the thing. I was just struggling for air. Which brings me to where I am now. Dying. Watching my life like a movie picture. This would be rotten way to die. So I go down fighting.Tobe continued in my final fanfic on Bioshock launch night
Thanks to all my supporters andpeople who like my work
See you on the 21st
Good job! I like it.
thanks just wait till my last fanfic though, man you will love it
Just as the drill was about to reach my cheek once more I once again found myself in a new place. I was in a ruined hall, bodies and rubble were everywhere, I even found the body of a dead cat. I reached down and I picked it up by its tail, then I saw my reflection in a puddle. I bent down and began to sob, for I did not look at Bernard, I saw a sad Sissy. I heard Sissy's voice echo, "Let's see how you like it!"
I panicked, I finally crumbled under the stress and let out a blood curling scream that shook the metallic walls of the ruins around me. I cried and I cried, but it wasn't my voice, it was that of a scared little girl. I then ran away far away, i didn't know where I was going, or where I was, I just ran. I ran until I saw a glass wall. And I stopped, and gaped. For I saw the dark blue of the ocean beyond the glass, and a passing whale hummed at me happily. "What have we got here?" A raspy wet voice said behind me. I looked back and saw a man in an old vest, and a rabbit mask looking down on me as if I was all he wanted. "It's rare to see you kids without your bodyguards around...Hold her Will!"
A man in a badger mask pinned me against the wall, I screamed at him, "Do it and you face the fires of hell!"
One of them laughed, "Oh sweety... this is hell! We're not human, not one of us..." He pulled out a hook and raised it against my neck, "You'll never be human..." And he pulled it through my neck...I screamed as I, now just a head fell to the floor, but I fell through it. And landed somewhere dark. I was sobbing uncontrollably now, for I was now sure this was so dream. I had fallen deep into the depths of madness!
"Sissy, stop it!" A voice yelled. I was back on the sub with the little girls, the one that spoke was one without any emotion written on her face, her eyes were glowing a deep green, she was level headed and definitely meant business.
"Connie! Why on earth should we stop our fun?" Sissy said with a horrible rage in her voice, a rage even though from a body so small I had come to fear.
"Because Sissy, he's telling the truth...he didn't ask for our power, without it he would have died. And far as war goes...he is trying to end it...we should let him go...and perhaps he will let us go." Connie looked at me when she said that last part, still without showing emotion, but even though she was creepy, I liked her, in my madness, I liked her.
"NO! HE WILL PAY, AND THROUGH HIM ALL WILL PAY!" with that Sissy grabbed raised her hand and it began to spark, lightning flew out and struck me in the chest. The last thing I remember hearing was Sissy's voice crying, "STOP!"
I woke to see a happy little sister with pink eyes smiling at me, "Your good now, right mister?" I nodded. "Can we leave now?" She asked in the sweetest voice.
I was confused, but the one named Connie spoke, "If you tell us we can leave, we will move on, and we will give you permission to use our power, as long as you retire from arms after you remove our place of suffering."
I nodded and I muttered, "You can leave." With that I woke up in the sub, I was alone. Was it all a dream? It was very vivid if it was. I realized that I was very close to my destination and decided now was a good time to change into Atlas. So I mixed his sweat with the plasmid, and drank up. I looked up and on a monitor...I saw Sissy's face.
"YOU WILL WATCH YOUR BACK SIR! FOR NOW ON YOU WILL BE FIGHTING TWO WARS! AND ONE DAY WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT YOU ARE MINE!" The sub shook and there was a high pitched ringing, I shook and screamed, but it wouldn't go away. I fell down and opened my eyes. I heard a voice, "Unidentified vehicle, is that really Atlas inside."
I had to shake off what just happened, didn't happen, so I crawled to the messaging system and replied, "It is, I've finally come home."
Next is the final part of the Typhon chronicles, which will never come if I don't get enough feedback
i love it dude it kind of reminded me of The Darkness
A man in a badger mask pinned me against the wall, I screamed at him, "Do it and you face the fires of hell!"
best. sentence. ever
pretty much dude. justlookaway can write some crazy stuff. he's writing a book and he has some fantastic ideas.
actually that gives me a good idea
if i dont get three more replies to my fanfic. Part six will then become my final fanfic and i will never fonish my series
Cool im wanna know the title so i can get it.
well im 14 so i hope my stories are okay coming from my age
well, ur fixing to get one. just gimme a sec.
i love ur use of imagery in that one. it was really fun to read
thanks i have got a good finale coming up. now all i need is two more
Seriously awesome guys. Pick up the pace though, I need you to write about eight hours of material each day for while Im at work =).
Hopefully I will have my short story done tomorrow.
i think that may count as a feedback for me
oh it does. but i'd pretty much tell u anything to see the finale
Thank you for your comments,you do me too much honor. But, I know there are more people here. Come on lurkers! Or other members just not wanting to contribute. Join in the fun.
Here's a poem I posted on another thread, but it seems like it fits in here just fine.
Beneath the waves, below the sight of those
Who would consider you a blasphemy,
I see you, city, writhing in the throes
Of drug-jacked Adam-fuelled insanity.
And here I lie, survivor to the last,
My breathing comes in ragged, shallow gasps
As girls with blazing eyes devour my blood
With greedy laughs while monster guardians gaze
Impassive in this crumbling, cankered place.
It doesn't take a genius to tell:
Rapture's gone to hell.
very nice poem. I think I'll start a new story, mine seems to be flawed.
Im new here but ive read your story i think its awesome you should stick with it
Yeah but after playing the demo the splicers seem more aware of the happenings in the city and not just crazies. I could say he was heavily addicted I suppose.
I just rattled this one off, thought someone might enjoy it. This is the transcript of an audio log.
I don’t know what’s happening, Sarah. All the lights went out, and then there was screaming and when we poked about for torches, well… there wasn’t much of the crowd left to see. I was lucky to get out the way I did, I mean, my leg’s in a bad way, hurts like hell and there’s a lot of pus but it could be worse.
Look, I don’t know what happened, I don’t think anybody does. This was meant to be a regular new year’s eve party: booze, those kooky underwater fireworks everyone’s on about, the lot. Even those crazy clowns who spliced themselves up to zap things with their fingers. Shazam, that was gonna be one great night… And, uh, I’m sorry I never got to your place, but the lights went out just when we were all walking, I was gonna pick you up but, well, my leg and all…
Look, that… that doesn’t matter any more, but we’ve gotta get out, I mean I heard about your mother, Jesus Christ I’d like to tear up the b*****d that did it, you should never have seen her like that, Jesus Christ. But we’ve gotta look forward now, no use crying. We can’t let our guard down, Sarah. You have got to be sharp, you’ve got to look in every shadow, watch your back. Always, Sarah, you have to watch your back.
Look, I think there might be a way out of this hell. Now, you’re still holed up in the residential complex, right? I’ve managed to drag myself into a restaurant or something, it’s a little hard to tell now with the stains and all. I’m gonna try and reach you in Residential, don’t worry about Arcadia, I’m pretty sure those quacks have moved on since your mother… well, you know. But listen, I’m gonna get to a message tube first, send you this via the network, and if you get this then you’ve gotta try and find a way out of that place.
Try and meet me halfway, if you can make it to Kashmir’s place then that’d be the best, then it’s only a short walk down the fisheries to the emergency Bathyspheres. God, I never thought we’d have to use those things, I even protested when they built them. But we can’t keep the ocean out forever, I guess. God, I wish we’d never met that goddam Andrew Ryan, him and his Ayn Rand trash, look where the hell it’s gotten us.
I’m gonna make a move now, I managed to break a chairleg off, I’ve made a sort of crutch. It should help me along a little. Look, honey, if you get to Kashmir’s and I’m not there, just get out, save yourself, there’s no telling what might happen to me on the way to your place. But I’m still gonna try. Lord, it’s so quiet out here…
Oh, by the way (sorry about the double post), I apologise for any swearing but I thought it added a touch of realism. I *****ed out the worst ones. Also, the directions he gives to Sarah are entirely fictitious, I have no idea how Rapture fits together. And I haven't played the demo, so this is just me having fun writing stuff without really knowing if it's relevant to the finished game.
There we go, but here are many more people that aren't commenting but viewing the thread, I honestly am very happy that more people are posting, but I won't feel like writing the final installment till I get a bit more feedback. And deathcheckedin, thats great, I'm the third commentor. GET WORKING!
Your great too just i dont want anyone to stop
okay okay ill do it... when my final installmentis released on Bioshock launch night 8/21
sorry for the double post but when i saw final installment i mean final fanfic for bioshock... sorry guys
Hahahaha. Just read this fan-fiction where a guy has sex with three Little Sister's and gets teleported to the Van Braun to have sex with Shodan. Won't post it out of fear of a ban, but holy ☺☺☺☺ that was disturbing.
Here's a SFW sample
"Then I smoked a cigarette, before I opened a time door to the far future and a ship called the Von Braun... A malevolent AI was waiting there... One who needed a real man to tame her."
That's one of the dawbacks of fans. Some are just freaky.
yea... Jenga...thats gross...don't wanna hear any more...and at this rate, the world will be seeing more of the return of Ted the big daddy before the last of the Typhon chronicles. COME ON! Please....
its a good series JustLookAway
Guys I got an idea, I was on another thread and now....
The official fanfic thread will now allow original Bioshock jokes!
I got nothin
but if you have a good joke about Bioshock, go ahead and post it if you want. We also except poetry.
I suppose the increased number of posts and new faces pleases me, I will finish the Typhon Chronicles. Now.
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