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Thread: The official fanfic thread

  1. #1
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    The official fanfic thread

    I thought I would give this one more try, if no one responds, someone get rid of this thread ASAP!

    The child ran through the dark corridors, she paid no attention to the body of her once dear friend lying in a pool of his own blood, but kept running. The hall shook and rattled with gunfire, the same that swallowed her parents hours ago. She heard the soft pitter patter of quick feet behind her. She didn't stop to look back though, but ran faster, the feet gained on her growing rapidly louder, she then had to look down at her side and saw her small terrier, Jackson running beside her. She bent down to pick him up, "J-Jackie!" She said and held him in the air, his face was cut right above his eye, but he still managed to make a panting grin on his face, she cried and held him close to her. "We're, all we got Jackie. Mom, Dad, Ben, are gone. We've gotta be extra careful, okay?" Jackie didn't respond, but kept panting. She slowly put the dog back on his feet, and then she immediately kept running.
    "We've gotta go east Jackie, Mr. Fontaine is winning over there, and the people are happy. We'll live there like Mom and Dad always wanted too. Right Jackie?" The Dog barked at something behind them, she turned around. There was a man, or what used to be one, he disappeared in a red mist, a huge yellow grin on his face disappearing. She felt a burning hot grip on her shoulders. She screamed as her world became black.

    It remained black for a long time she only recalled the voice of a woman saying, "I won't do it you sick bastard!" and Andrew Ryan's voice yelling, "You will if you know what is good for you woman!" After what seemed like years of sleep, she finally woke up. She looked around the room only seeing a strange silver cylinder. She walked to it and slowly picked it up, she knew what to do now. She then turned to see Jackie, wagging his tail. "Come on Jackie, she said, let's go find Adam!" She slowly walked forward, "Jackie's" mechanical feet thumping behind her.

    Critique my work or preferably, submit your own please.

  2. #2
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    please guys

  3. #3
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    Me like.Me like very much.What made you want to make Ryan a sexist bastard though?

  4. #4
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    K short one, making it up as I go along...

    I saw the Little Sister's protector thump around the corner, a short distance away from his charge, making sure nobody got to close. They walked cautiously towards a deceased splicer near a security station.

    I looked down at my newly upgraded weapon, my revolver and said 'I can do this. No problem.' I rushed towards my target without any planning, putting my faith into my shooting skills and weapon. I took one shot and... An alarm sounded. I had been spotted. I turned toward the securiy bots behind my, praying that my shot had missed the Big Daddy. It only took a few seconds to take down the security bots, and I turned around to find myself facing dozens of glowing red eyes.

    '☺☺☺☺' I said under my breath as the drill spiraled towards me. 'Oh well. There's always a next time.' I said to myself as the drill began to work on my face, tearing it apart.
    ----------------------------





    That's what happens if you don't plan your Big Daddy attacks!

  5. #5
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    Oh yeah! Rate mine please! I used to be writing all the time and I had a really good idea for a story but I can't decide whether or not to write it, so maybe I will if anyone thinks I'm alright

  6. #6
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    Methinks 2K Liz should make a Story and Characters sections, or a Fan-fic section. Who knows.
    Maybe you guys should send her a PM about it.

  7. #7
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    Well, I never quite figured out fanfic... but here goes.

    I stumble out of the tube swearing under my breath. I flop down on the wet floor, the water slowly seeping into my shirt. The room is spinning around me.

    "What the hell just happened?" I ask, as I search my memory for any clues.

    Then it hits my like a ton of bricks. I feel a shooting pain in my chest, right above my heart. I tear my shirt open to see what is happening.

    There is nothing there.

    Slowly, the memories come back to me. The first thing I remember is my family. Such sweet memories. Then I remember the city. This doomed place called Rapture.

    I was fighting one of the deranged citizens. I was shot.

    "God damn." I mutter. "Good thing I pressed that button."

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    I heard the mumbling. I followed it to the bathroom. Someone was in the stall. I couldn't leave well enough alone. Guy. Guy in there. What business was it of mine? But, then. I was the man with the shotgun. My shirt was covered in blood and guts from my last encounter with some little girl who, between you and me, was a lot tougher than she looked. Nails like claws. Blood dripping into my right eye.

    But anyway. Let's say I've done my fair share of killing down here. To the point where I take offense to anyone's presence. See, they want me dead. This is something you notice. Not subtle. No poison in my tea. They don't offer me tea. They want to cut my head off, and probably not very quickly. So this guy. In the toilet. I've got a shotgun.

    I kicked the door in. This guy was wearing a bear mask. Crouching on the toilet. Lid was up. Yeah, he was dropping turds. The bear mask was on wrong. He had it on slightly to the left. The holes didn't line up. He couldn't see a thing but I reckon he could hear just fine. Not stopping to wipe, he leaped forward and tackled me. Yeah, I got a shotgun. But the sight had rendered me motionless. The bear mask had a red fez cap sewed on to the top of the head. The guy continued mumbling. Continued the other thing, too. I was starting to regret coming in here.

    My shotgun was pinned between both our chests. He was trying to hit me but most of the time his fists only hit the cold tile. He was making a lot of noise. I lifted a knee upward, sharply. It did some damage. The mumbling stopped. He rolled over, clutching himself. I stood up and looked around. There was a Big Daddy standing at the entrance to the bathroom, looking at us. I shrugged. He turned and walked out.

    I pointed my shotgun at the bear guy. He managed to take his mask off.

    "Wait, I'm Atlas," he said.

    "Uh, what?"

    Things were getting interesting.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bio-wha? View Post
    Me like.Me like very much.What made you want to make Ryan a sexist bastard though?
    I would think that someone as humane as Tenenbaum would be Andrew Ryan's enemies, and seeing his actions during the war and what he said, I would think he viewed his enemies on the same ground as people that did not belong in Rapture, and would call them such things as "Boy, Woman, Child, Fool." But buy no means do I think he is sexist, he just wanted Tenenbaum to do her thing.
    Thank you for the compliment though.

    And I like what I've seen so far, keep it coming.

  10. #10
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    Here's another.
    "Sir, we actually found some survivors in the south end. What is your course of action?"
    The Man in a white trench coat showed no emotion beyond his red sunglasses and calmly replied, "Can they walk?"
    "No sir." Said a stern man in a red uniform.
    "Well, we'll have them shipped out of here, and see if you we can get them moving again, perhaps we can find out what made these people so damn special from them."
    "Yes Mr. Lewcory, Sir."
    Lewcory sighed, this was going to be a messy take over. Well, not necessarily messy, there was no one to fight, this place was a graveyard with no markers except for dried, brown blood on the wall and rotting bodies. He stroked the massive metal drill on the table, they had removed the mechanical arm off of a monstrosity that they had found lying in the old theater, looked like someone burned him. "How incredible this place was for it's time."
    The Year was 2035, and Lewcory was the head of a scientific project called, "The cleansing." It was a program that highly technologically advanced weapons for the mighty dollar. There was no telling how many lives they had killed, or many would be by this new discovery, but money would surely be pouring in from the darkest parts of the world. Lewcory smiled.
    "So what's your thoughts on this discovery, Dr. Folkrend?" Lewcory asked the man in a white lab coat next to him, a wicked grin revealing almost jagged teeth.
    Dr. Folkrend had discovered this underwater hell, three months before one of his assistants leaked this information to Lewcory and The Cleansing. Now he worked under the shadow of Lewcory's gun. He had been in the damn place for two months, he was to valuable to kill, but he worked well under fear.
    "I found the notebook of a man who identifies himself as Andrew." The man responded sadly, "He built this place, powered entirely by underwater volcanoes, this place may just be the greatest technological advancement every created by man."
    "Don't be so modest, your weapons are oh so delightful." Taunted Lewcory with horrible intent, for he knew what Folkrend would say next.
    "They are not delightful by any means, out of all the good I could do for the world, they tell me to make viruses, guns, and bombs with which would bring entire continents to their knees!"
    "Yeah, yeah..." Lewcory sipped some white whine, "So what happened?"
    Folkrend frowned, "Something involving a drug called, 'adam' seems that people became so addicted to it they fought for it."
    "So any mega opium still lying around?"
    "No, and this war shouldn't be compared to the opium war, this drug seemed to be less deadly, it was more like they were fighting for medicine. I can't imagine it. The war must have been horrifying. Living monsters running people through like they were paper, not many were left alive, and those that were were either monsters or insane."
    "What happened next?"
    "Well-"
    "Sir!" A voice cracked over a radio. "One of our men just dropped dead, we found a small, almost silver toothpick lodged in his neck, the made minimal contact but-OH GOD!" Then the empty room rang with screams and pleads to god. Lewcory shook and then looked slowly looked upwards from his radio. Folkrend was now grinning with delight and in his hand was Lewcory's pistol. "I will tell you what happens now, you insect!" Lewcory grew more pale with each of the movements of his trembling face, "I will use this place to rebuild a dream, a dream for the best of the best, those far superior to you, those like me!" Folkrend threw the pistol across the room, "You said you liked my weapons, then you should find this disease delightful. It is not contagious, it paralyzes the infected almost immediately, and causes an incredible amount of pain as it makes its slow journey to the heart, and then clogs the arteries."
    Lewcory pushed his chair over and ran, "Activate function: revenge!" Folkrend screamed into the empty room.
    "Who wants so?" A female voice responded from the walls.
    "I, Typhon!" Roared Folkrend. Lewcory then felt a pinch at his kneck and fell over. It felt like his lungs were slowly roasting, and he wanted to scream his pain, but couldn't.
    Typhon, or Folkrend smiled, "Welcome back Rapture!"

  11. #11
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    OI! That took alot of work! Come on.

  12. #12
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    Yes, but mine was short and sweet!

    But seriously, I enjoyed yours. It was a fun read.

    Rapture 2.0!

  13. #13
    I Had been forced to take the adam for the war was brutal. Pepole fighting for adam it was deadly my life had been put into danger many times by these splicers. The frist injection nearly left me dead it was electrobolt i had started using it to survive but later on i needed it. So i started to seek it out. Then Big daddys and lil sisters were made to protect the adam it only made things worse for pepole started killing themsleves. Slowly the world of raputure went crazy every one was muated its almost sucide to attack a Big daddy i have seen pepole die by those monsters. Dont they get it we can not help it we must have the adam the few who harvest have only become more crazy but today i can not help it i must try to get adam. i have a wrench, just a wrench i dont care a big daddy walks past i lung throw my hand back and the wrench comes crashing down hard hits him in the back he turns around and yells he pushes me hard i stumble back and hitt the ground hard and stand quick but hes already over me his drill goes into my stomach i lose all feeling and i hitt the ground hard a pool of blood overcomes my body a lil sister walks over me and sticks the needle into me. Slowly she takes the last of my life i knew from when i lunged that i wasnt going to live but i rather die trying to get adam then live without it.

  14. #14
    so what do you think

  15. #15
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    I think you need to paragraph...

    My eyes are sore, I will read it later

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Nias Wolf View Post
    I think you need to paragraph...

    My eyes are sore, I will read it later
    fair enuff should i repost it

  17. #17
    I'm really interested in reading some BioShock fiction by Ken Levine himself, since he did some for System Shock 2.

  18. #18
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    First, I'm not sure where else to post Bioshock related poems, so I'll just go here. Secondly, I did search, and the other poetry thread has been dead for a month+. So, these two things being said, I'll put up two poems I just wrote about 10 minutes ago when saw this thread. The first one is a 5-7-5 haiku, the other is a cinquain.

    Our Man-made Hell
    In halls of Rapture
    Surviving on childrens's deaths
    Please help this poor soul

    Rapture
    Ruined city
    Crawling with insanity
    An escape from reality
    Torment

  19. #19
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    My veins were boiling. But yet I felt no pain. I heard myself screaming and others around me doing the same, but for some reason I couldn't register what they were screaming about. I felt the hot trail of a flame burst from my fingertips. A feeling no living thing is supposed to feel. But I didn't know if I was alive, nor did I care.

    Curses and gunshots echoed in the small wing I had injected myself with my last shot of Eve, which had been many days ago. For some reason this small apartment complex had been sealed. All that remained of the life I once new was the corpses of my children and wife. I don't know who killed him. But I remember I blacked out, the pain. The pain had been so intense.

    I finally regained something resembling control and looked down upon myself. My entire body was burnt and bore dozens of quickly healed scars. My hands the worst of all. But the most disturbing was the blood splattered over my torn and waterlogged cloth.........and the body of my father at my feet.

    But as quickly as the control returned it was gone. I needed something. I didn't know what but I needed it. I needed it like nourishment. I couldn't survive without it.

    I watched as my body cut down various other people I had known in my life. But I had no life now. Just survival. After a few days I had amassed a large arsenal of improvised weapons like glass shards that spat out of a nail gun from the work man on the 3rd floor. Or the bottle of baby formula found on a woman on the 2nd. Customized to make a molotov cocktail.

    Days and days passed. Days that went into months. Months that went into years. I hadn't eaten in years. My eyes and my thoughts were all that remained. A tortured existence for one of the greatest minds of this century. Was it still the 1900's? Was it ever the 1900's? I did not know. And that scared me much more than my growing insanity.

    After years of this possession my body ached more than ever. I heard a crash and the sound of movement outside the sealed doors. The gates that separated the disease I possessed from the rest. I prayed it had not gotten to them.

    Having nothing else to do I waited at that door. Most of my remaining former neighbors were scavenging on the next floor. This one was mine. But the concept of ownership had little meaning in my Hell.

    Hours passed. The slow pitter patter of water suddenly caught my attention. It gained strength. Within days it was pouring out. Slowly filling the corridor. I didn't know how to feel. Death would free me. But I still was trying to fix the leaking pipe which had suddenly burst. An outside explosion was the only explanation.

    I was up to my shoulders in water. Contemplating my fate. The doors to the upper floors had shut to prevent further flooding. Rapture's defenses still worked. The defenses I had helped create.

    Suddenly the flooding began to lessen. I jerked my shell of a body in the direction of the disturbance of my monk like solitude.

    A lone man had somehow opened the door and was being pushed down by the flood of water. I had to stop him. To kill him.
    I ran at him and felt the familiar power of incineration in my blackened fingers. He had a Thompson Sub-machine gun and was pelting me with bullets. I didnt feel a single one.

    "You fool do you realize what you have done? End it now! I will kill you! End me! Burn this taint!"

    I was speaking with two people inside me. But one side won. I sent a hose of fire at the man and he was set aflame. He screamed and jumped into the water. His skin was tougher than any I had ever seen. I was lifted into the air.
    I felt my skull ram into the wet wall and heard a crack before falling to the ground. My body wouldnt give up. I used my last ounce of strength with a last desperate pull at my precious EVE reserves. For at that moment I realized what I had become.

    But as soon as it had come it was gone. The man approached me with a strange looking revolver and pulled the trigger.

    I felt the taint leave me. I felt my soul fly. The euphoria, the agony, the freedom.

  20. #20
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    Very nice work, Poseidon. I got into it, too mad there's not much.

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    Yea Poseidon, nicely done .

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nias Wolf View Post
    Yes, but mine was short and sweet!

    But seriously, I enjoyed yours. It was a fun read.

    Rapture 2.0!
    If you want to see, "What happened next" check out my posts on the "Where would you like to see Bioshock 2" threads.

  23. #23
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    I did! Unfortunatly, I think your ideas in that thread made the game seem more like a run and gun shooter...

  24. #24
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    Now for another:
    Two months into the war and it was already over. A young man sat behind his desk with his feet firmly planted on them. He smiled lightly and let the orange end of his cigar send a drop of ashes to the ground, "Ah hell, it won't matter much longer." He said to the older man behind him.
    "So your really just gonna stay here?" The old man screamed in an outraged voice.
    "Yep, I figure I won't be doing any good by running it will just put Ryan and his goofy scuba divers and a wild goose chase, killing anyone who they think is hiding something. Naw, I ain't gonna run no more, if I'm gonna die it might as well be while helping this war torn world." The young man chided.
    "Rapture is a city my young friend." The old man chided with a wag of his finger. The young man laughed, so much that it drowned out the gun fire, the turn of drills, and the screams that rose from below them. "What is it, Fontaine?" The old man asked.
    "You sounded like Ryan then, so technical." Fontaine chuckled.
    "I've known him for a long time, he was almost like a brother, of course I'm going to sound like him." The old man sighed, "But alas," He put his hand on the glass window which let in the dark green of the bottom of the ocean, "Andrew has changed so much, I could never raise a family near him. It saddens me, 'I'm gonna make sure the best never suffer again.' He said to me so many years ago. But, he never realized that even the best of humanity can cause suffering, until now, and he's probably taking it very harshly. How I miss the old Andrew, so full of smiles."
    "There is an elevator in cupboard behind me, I want you too take it." Fontaine said grimly.
    "And leave you, no we are far to noble too-"
    "You said you couldn't raise a family around Ryan, so make sure that they get damn far away from him they wouldn't be able to get away without you! So go damn it!" Fontaine roared. There should have been a silence now, but there was only the mechanical sounds of war and death, rebounding loudly off the walls of the small room.
    "I won't be able too see them for a long time. And I'll have to make a new identity, I like the name...Atlas. How 'bout you?"
    Fontaine laughed, "A little too fancy for me, but it's your call, Atlas."
    Atlas smiled and got into the elevator, "Good bye and thank you my friend." As the hum of the elevator sounded, the gunfire disappeared, but Atlas could here the door above him bust and the words, "Fontaine, on the orders of Andrew Ryan you will-"
    "Yeah, yeah... I'm comin' you ugly bastard!" Atlas laughed, it was just like Fontaine, too face death with a smile and sarcasm. He would survive though, for his family, and for Fontaine. And...for the old Andrew.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nias Wolf View Post
    I did! Unfortunatly, I think your ideas in that thread made the game seem more like a run and gun shooter...
    Eh, I thought that myself, I thought, "How would I get the same feel of the first Bioshock into this one?" I came up with several answers but none of them really clicked, so I agree with you full on. But hey, that's what help is for, someone could take my idea and find a way, I'm sure.
    Thank you for the constructive criticism though.

  26. #26
    I looked over at the lil sister she was hunched up in the corner she looked like she was ready to cry i didnt care i wanted the adam i looked over at the big daddys coprse did i really just kill that.

    As i apporached the lil sister she backed up into a wall i bent over i knew what i had to do. I was going to harvest her so i can surive in this messed up world. just then a crazed splicer jumped ontop of me it let out a bloodcurling cry and hitt me hard with the pipe held in its right hand.

    I tumbled over and quickly arouse to my feet i pulled out my pistol and squezzed the trigger the shot rang out and quickly pierced its right arm. It yelled and lept at me again another hitt to the head.

    i felt my head crack open slighty and blood started to come out i shot again this time the bullet hitt it right in its head and it fell over dead. Just as i killed the splicer the lil sister got up and started running down the hallway.

    i started to pursue it but quickly was cut down by a nearby security bot. It started to unload bullets into me. The bullets hitt me hard and i jumped into a nearby window of a shop. The bot was then shot down by something else and i didnt really care to stand around and see what had shot it. i turned and left the shop and started running down the hallway that lil sister got away damnit.

    i went to a nearby health point and heald myself with the last of my money. I had used the last of my plasmids on the big daddy and i only had 5 shots left in my pistol. i stumbled to a nearby corner of a room and sat there. I had to get adam some way curse that splicer for attacking when it did. Thats when i looked up there was a vent a lil sister vent something tells me to reach in and just pull the lil sister out.

    i checked my ammo and decided just go for it. i walked over to the vent and reached in it i felt something it tried to retreat. i got a good hold over it and pulled. Out came a lil sister suddenly i didnt care about anything i just wanted adam i grabed her tight and then the loud thunderous steps of a big daddy came along.

    I started to tug away at her i needed to harvest her and quick but she let out a cry before i could get the adam from her body and then the big daddy started to run down the hallway and suddenly the drill had pierced into my lower back. When the drill was pulled out of my body i stood there slowley i felt as if everything was coming to a final halut the drill started up again and one last final blow threw my head.

  27. #27
    yaaa tell me what you think

  28. #28
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    Very nice, I liked how you introduced so many enemies.

  29. #29
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    Ryan's Revenge

    "Why did I take this job?" The John Offstein asked himself inside his head. Above his head was a lonely gray sky, as if it sensed this man's turmoil it sent the snow falling down slowly to the earth like messages of good luck. "Maybe God will help me?" John didn't stay on his brown bench long, as he had told himself before, this had to happen. He got up, his black trench coat flapping with each step, Moscow was a cold home, how did Ryan ever like it here?
    It wasn't his job to wonder though, and he turned the corner into a dark, and lonely alley, were only a cold husky mutt sat eating unknown substances from a trash can. Then, he jumped above the two story building, landing on it's roof without making a sound in his snow boots. He jumped from roof to roof, looking for his target. After twenty minutes of jumping around Moscow, he found him, sitting on a bench sipping coffee. As soon as he sat the coffee down, Offstein used telekinesis to snap his neck, with no sound, and he placed his head back as if the man had fallen asleep.
    Stage one was complete, now to move to the final part of the plan.

    "So your the new chef, you look like you have no talent what so ever! Do you have talent!" A big, hairy man in a chef's outfit asked Offstein.
    "I-I assure you sure, I have plenty of talent, why, in Paris they said I was quite the delight!" Offstein asked in a false shy and scared voice.
    "Well, don't screw this up child! The General Secretary himself is here! I would like 1953 to be a good year for me, okay?"
    "Yes sir!" Offstein then slipped away, grabbing a bottle of vodka as he past. One chef looked at him strangely, "For before dinner." Offstein responded. The other chef nodded and continued on his way. He grabbed four glassess and poured the clear liquid into them. Then he pulled a fifth from his coat, and poured the vodka slowly into it.
    He brought the glasses out into the dining hall, where five people sat laughing around a table. "So convincing, hiding their evil behind laughter. But it won't save him now."
    Offstein placed the fifth glass in front of the eldest man at the end of the table, he wasn't two old, his hair and mustache were graying slightly but nothing to bad. "One for the general secretary..." Offstein said. "...And some for all of his friends." After placing all of the glassess he looked behind at the table and said, "May you drink too a better tommorrow for Russia."
    As he left he heard, "Too Russia." Offstein smiled, too perfect.

    He was back under water again, back home. He was infront of a desk surrounded by windows exposing the dark green ocean. "You did it. Good man." Andrew Ryan told him.
    "Joseph Stalin is dead, Mr. Ryan, I saw that the public would think he died of a stroke."
    "Very good, men like him don't deserve to be among the elite of the world community. He killed my family you know." There was a long pause. "My father was a religious man, and supported Nicholas the II. I will never forget the face that came in to my house and killed my family. The same face that is now lying in a casket."
    "Sir," Offstein said, Andrew Ryan looked him in the eye, "Did you want me to do it for revenge, for patriotism, or for the world."
    "I suppose I did it for all three, but now I care not for patriotism, or the world, my care for those lie in the casket with Joseph Stalin."

  30. #30
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    What a twist! Tell me what you think.

  31. #31
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    Hmm I have never tried this, heres my attempt.

    As I heard the screams and gunshots all around me, the sound's and the blood, It started to get to me, When this thing first started I was only trying to help fix the wounds and bring the tools to my mentor for some emergency program at attemting to reconstruct the volunteers...to allow them to use stronger plasmids that use less plasmids, The reconstructing though did work, left the volunteers deformed and even inraged at us. Its been only two days and now I, a doctor, am suppose to go against my own moral rules, I was told by Ryan to create gernades with Dr. David Steeves....Dr David was not like he was befor, he started talking to himself, during the war all the men were sent in the battle unless they had use anywhere else, even if they were boys...almost all children boys I had arriving for me to help were already dead or suffering, Most my patients were children since they were the easiest targets, for both bullets and there parents hearts. Dr. Davids Son was killed recently, a mob had surrounded him beating him with steel pipes, all so they could steal some medical supplys and a vile or two of addam. And not only that but all the young girls were sent to a program...I could tell it was goign to be something even worse the becoming a deformed...splicer as we call them. I had just killed my last surviving patient, he was 11 years old, his legs had become burnt, and his lungs were mostly crushed, I could not allow him to suffer any more, this war was not ending, and almost everyone was now part of it, Nobody except a very small handful of people escaped, and family members went into hiding, Even the peaceful Mechanics and handymen of rapture who even watch our children were put into the war, but at least these Big Daddys are still protecting our children...At least they seem like children. Dr. David recently seemed normal for a few hours. He told me that he was sorry for acting weird and told me about some escape plans and how we should stay sain. But then out of no where he began to shout and scream about how when this war ends it will have damaged the peace forever in Rapture, and cursed out everyone, he even tossed a scalpal cart towards me and started shoving at me. I didnt do anything except panic. I pushed him and ran towards the farthest patient bed, I had some eve but I didnt want to use it, Eve gave everyone a gift and they thought it would make them into some sort of gods, I liked the stuff but I couldnt stand the feeling in my nerves when ever I tried it , the adam itself feels like acid entering your nerves and then the plasmid would naturally hurt a bit. I had injected a little but and was preparing to defend myself if I had to, I started thinking about what good It would do for me to kill Dr. David his 12 vials of adam, his pistol with a few good rounds, and not to mention the saftey of not having someone going mad near me...I was in shock... how could I tihnk these things, Hes a living thing no matter how insane he has become, I couldnt give into greed and fear. He walked towards me to apoligize it seemed, But then I saw it. He had activatet the incenerate plasmid, He began to scream then laugh... He looked at me and yelled at me as If I was the one who killed his son, or as if I stole his daughters. He even called me the name of his dead wife. I was in shock that he had become one, an addicted mindless monster. He started twirling his hands to show off a ring of flames. In my panic I used the eve, it was as easy to use eve as it is to move your fingers. I had only gained Telkinesis but it would do me well, In mer secounds I had used my plasmid to snair my Dr. friend's pistol. As we both were now attacking I grasping the handle and trigger now of the gun, and Dr. david releasing a ball of flames towards me. we both hit our targets. My face was smacked with the flames. But lucky for me there was a patients undrained bucket of water used for there would have been sponge bath. I tackled the bucket the secound I felt a burn. But the dr. was not so lucky. he was gasping for air... I had got him In the center of his adams apple. He stared at me with a bit of anger yet sarrow. He fell dead. And I was not going to stay in the Hopital any longer. I had gathered all of Dr Davids useable Items and placed him on a bed, on my way out I heard the clunking footsteps of one of those bigdaddys walking towards my way. In fear of the creature being insane like Dr David, I took a run out of the hospital through the entrance door. holding a box of gernades in my right arm, and the pistol in my left, I charged towards the nearest safe area I could, most the splicers just wathed me run, But others noticed the 14 vials of adam attacked to my belt. I unded up using a vial to kill of a dozzen of the Splicers chasing me, But now I had thirty or fourty teaming up to catch me, around 7 behind me, and the rest taking routes to blockade me. now with only 11 vials and half a box of gernades, I was begining to feel different, I wanted to hunt these creations down, And I kept seeing Dr David and his son behind me or in flash's I couldnt tell if they were real or not. as I sat on my knees with the nearby bar's sap song echoing, I began to cry only because of the situation I was in. as I looked straight ahead, rubbing my eyes. I saw it! a bathosphere exit. I noticed it was being in use! someone was coming! I began to take my mind off the situation when suddenly I felt a painful crush on the back of my head, Then on my back and my arm. I screwed up, one of the more weak splicers was beating me down to my death, when I took out splicers who wielded powerful weapons and plasmids with ease, I was goign to just give up. But Damn him, David was the one doing it..no no wait its the weak splicer... I couldnt tell. I grasped the rusty knife laying near me from a beaten splicer with my broken arm, And with ease, pushed the blade into the splicers hand and pushing it up into its skull. as I gasped in pain and watched the weak no useful item holding being go limp, I began to laugh and laugh with as much force I could put into it. but I could hear her. even with my insane and loud laugh going on, I heard that tiny voice... My daughter was there looking at me with tears. She backed away, I looked and spoke in shock ..Chl...Chloe sweety! I charged at her in an attempt to hug her .... but she ran towards a hole like shape in the wall (it was too dark to see), as I had almost grabbed her shirt, A loud whale like moan was screamed into my ear, I was tackled to the ground, flying to the other side of the room, only to be right next to another little girl, she gasped and ran towards what looked like another Bigdaddy which did not hesitate to toss me away, I then came to my sense, these biocreatures are protecting these girls even if it is by strict means, now understanding I had began to attempt to crawl off as fast as possible, Only to accidentally kicking one of the little girls in her face, causing the green lights in the Biocreatures to go red, I was uppercuted right on the path to my exit, But I would rather die then leave my daughter, I got up and hoped to get my daughter and escape, but by that time I was struck, all I could hear was a drill, and my ears thumping. I started to blank out, but not befor feeling the pain of the hole in my face. Now shaking and secounds from death, all I could do was pray that I and my loved ones would be ok...thats all there was left to do...

  32. #32
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    Wow, so you've never written fanfic before? Well, you should do it more often.

  33. #33
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    The diary of a mad big daddy

    Dear Diary,

    I saw my helmet for the first time today and I was all like, wtf it has ten lights but like no eye holes? And the guy was like, "Your big and powerful, I wouldn't worry about seeing to much if I were you." I was all like, okay, what ever! That suit is so freaking hot!
    I tried to make a sandwich today but I kept squishing the bread, and I don't eat squished sandwiches, that's just weird. So I asked Bob the splicer to make me one. And he did, but then I realized his hands were like perma-burned and I said I didn't have an appetite. He looks at me and says, "Do you know how hard it is to find some #$@%^*! ham around this damn place? Now eat!"
    So I take off my helmet to eat it and the bastard runs away screaming, I don't know why, and it really pissed me off, but at least I didn't have to eat that sandwich. I'm sooo hungry.

    Ted

    Dear Diary,

    I hate my partner, so much! I mean every freakin time we pass a dead body she says the same thing, "Look Mr. Bubbles, Adam!" And I say, "My name isn't Mr. Bubbles, and I know that's freakin Adam, it's all Adam, you dumb ^%#$&!" But she goes off and ignores, me! Dumb little *****. I wonder if the other protectors have this much of a hard time.
    And then when trouble comes, she goes off and cries, and I gotta do the work. This sucks sooo much, I bet Andrew Ryan never had to go walkin around in no big suit with dumb little girls. Maybe one day I can quit this job and be a rockstar.
    sincerely,

    Ted

  34. #34
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    .............Please lets keep this serious. I might post a second chapter of mine sometime tonight. If I get enough feedback for it.

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poseidon View Post
    .............Please lets keep this serious. I might post a second chapter of mine sometime tonight. If I get enough feedback for it.
    It was AWESOME! That enough?

  36. #36
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    Possibly, not ready to write just yet. I'll start in a few hours. Maybe

  37. #37
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    I wouldn't feel right writing fan fiction for BioShock since I don't actually know the story yet! But I can contribute this Jade Empire fan fiction. (I apologize if this is too off-topic.)


    Warning: Contains spoilers!

    Warning 2: I deliberately made this a badly written fan fiction!
    (Though it does accurately describe how I finished the game. Mirabelle FTW!)

    (Whether I'm capable of well-written fan fiction still remains to be seen... haven't tried yet.)


    Radiant Jen Zi had searched many fortnights for the outlander known only as Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard. Though she had restored the glory of the Jade Empire by killing her old martial arts master who had betrayed her and seized the Emperor's throne, she knew she still had one last important mission she must undertake. It was this persistent spirit that at last led her to a small town where the outlander was astonishing the confused residents with his arrogance.

    "Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard," Radiant Jen Zi addressed him. "We meet again!"

    "I say!" replied Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard. "You're the girl -- the young lady, I should say -- who bested me in our combined debate and combat!"

    "Indeed I am," Radiant Jen Zi replied. "And I have brought you a gift." She wielded the outlander's former musket, Mirabelle, in front of his eyes and he flinched abruptly. Radiant Jen Zi laughed. "No, you misunderstand! I do not threaten you. I return your precious Mirabelle to you. But first I must tell you her amazing story."

    "Pray continue," said the shaken outlander.

    "No doubt you have heard that I recently slayed Master Li, the treacherous usurper of the Imperial Throne. But what you do not know is this: I made certain that my killing blow, the one that removed him forever from our world, was inflicted by this exotic weapon you entrusted to me. In your way, Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard, you have helped all the honest, hard-working people of our Empire. And now I return this strange and powerful weapon to you, so that our peoples may forever be united by the ties of mutual respect!"

    "I say," said Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard with a misty tear in his eye. "Words fail me. I shall tarry here no longer. I must find a way home, to tell my countrymen of these auspicious events, and the part I played in them."

    Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard extended a hand to Radiant Jen Zi. She was unfamiliar with the gesture, but instinct told her to grasp his friendly hand. Then she bowed to him, and remembering the manners of this strange land, Sir Roderick Ponce von Fontlebottom the Magnificent Bastard bowed in return.

    THE END

  38. #38

    Red ribbions and The protectors story

    INTRODUCTION


    They were red ribbons a strong elite force that was made by jack tomson. jack tomson was the frist survior of raputure he escaped but when he left raputure he didnt just bring his memories he bought plasmids. when he showed it to the outside world pepole became additced to the power you could have when using them.

    This formed two fractions the Red ribbions and the Protectors.There were no longer lil sisters or big daddys. The Red ribbions hunted down adam and expolited anything that steped in there way. The Protectors stored the adam and made sure pepole would not use it anymore and whoever opposed them were shot down in a hail of gunfire.

    This war has been going on for 30 years now pepole were hell torned. The world didnt opperate the way it should. Well my name is Tey Esto and i have a story to tell a story about a world runined by adam.

  39. #39
    This is my book about adam post what you think i will be updating this with new chapters so ahve fun reading express what you think

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poseidon View Post
    .............Please lets keep this serious. I might post a second chapter of mine sometime tonight. If I get enough feedback for it.
    Sigh, fine, I'll switch back to serious.

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