You people realize that threads like this would never be made if everyone read my detailed strategy guide. Because I am a nice person I will repost the important details from it:
"When playing any game of civ 4 its important to maintain an efficient and strategic approach to booting newbs from your game. One of the best indicators of a newb is their name. If they have a name that doesn't sound creative at all like Axemen1212 or LEETKILLER, there is a 93% probability they are a newb and pose a threat to you having the most fun. Another indication a player is a newb, is their ability to pick a leader as soon as a they enter a game. This is the classic test of newberdom and should always prove to be a clear indication. Another proven method of proving newbdom is looking at any abbreviation before their name, it has actually been scientifically proven that players whos name start with [KC] or [MOJO] are 89x more likly inclined to either lag your game, crash your game, or put their team at a strategic disadvantage. Its also important to remember that better players with less lag always have precedence over a laggy player, so if your game is full, but great players are on, be prepared to boot with avengence...
Whenever encountering any of the above I like to boot using the silent but deadly classic double click strategy with the right hand. What ill do is put my mouse over the newbs boot x, in the staging room, and click in 2 consecutive motions. Even though only 1 is necessary, two is important in order to guarantee success.
In recent times the famous Spam and kick has gained wide attention. Its important when attempting to pull off the spam and kick to have a generic degrading comment prepared. I usually like to say "NEWB, your the weakest link goodbye." Usually after they lose connection to the game they realize they were the newb in reference and begin to message back in anger. Its important to stay clam and relaxed in such situations. A kind always seems to work, but in recent times the famous "Im sorry dude, that spot was actually reserved and we will for sure play next time, seems to prove very successful at removing the newb and the hatred in his heart.
Whenever faced with certain newbs I like to use my specialty, the patented, two handed, reverse, double barrel, slander and kick. When attempting to pull of this complex maneuver I like to usually be high on some kind of narcotic, Its important to pull this move off with a narcotic because side affects of morality can sometimes bite you in the butt when your clear eyed. To successfully pull off this maneuver its important to have a full game and have the newb in question sit in that game for atleast 20 minutes thinking they are going to play. Usually when the last slot fills I like to put on some Sigur Ros to get in that sensual mood. Once engaged in bliss I will type in all CAPS WTF IS THIS LAGGY ASS NEWB DOING IN HERE. Usually caught off guard the proposed newb will stand in speechless ahh. Its important to be consistent when attempting to embark on this technique of booting, due to the high probability of being frowned upon by your peers. I usually suggest booting by clicking the mouse with both your right hand and than your left hand. Its important to use both in order to make sure the newb is actually booted and atleast 1 arm is functioning normally. Its important to get that boot in before they actually have a chance to respond to the allegations of being a newb and/or lagger. By successfully pulling off this maneuver you have a 37% chance of convincing atleast 26% of the players in the staging room to not allow the newb into their future games."