250 things Bioshock characters would never say [Archive]

Atlas.

04-02-2008, 02:22 PM

I've seen similar to this on other games and thought it would be really good for Bioshock :D

Basically just things any character from Bioshock would say. This includes the main characters, minor characters, splicers, the announcers etc

-SPOILERS WILL BE PROBABLE IN THIS THREAD-

Im not great at these but i'll see if i can think of some more

Little Sister: "Don't be a slow poke Mr. B. Angels don't wait for slow pokes..."

Big Daddy: "You try walking faster in this massive goddamn suit!"

Public Announcement: "Natural Camouflage: New from Ryan Industries. Just wanna hide? Or for when you just want to perv in the Ladies room, upgrade to natural camouflage today!"

Atlas: "The Sub! Nooooo! I had a lifetime supply of beer in there i was gonna take with me outta here, now its gone... Goddamn Ryan! Jesus Christ!

Andrew Ryan: "I have one question for you: Do you think i'll ever make it into the PGA tournament?"

im sure there will be people here that can come up with some great ones :D

Andru_Rian

04-02-2008, 03:05 PM

Atlas.

04-02-2008, 03:13 PM

^lol i laughed at the first and last ones :D

darthkiwi

04-02-2008, 04:45 PM

Ryan: A man chooses... to take part in one of the most elaborate reality TV shows in history! Yes, it turns out Rapture is one huge film set and we've been broadcasting all your hilarious movements to a fascinated America! :D

BioShockWins

04-02-2008, 04:48 PM

*Moved to general*

Atlas.

04-02-2008, 04:58 PM

^thanks :) was gonna put it here but wasnt sure

Sander Cohen Presents - Rapture: The Musical - All Singing All Dancing!

esipode

04-02-2008, 08:11 PM

Atlas:Would you kindly go get me a beer?
Andrew Ryan:A man chooses, a slave is his b*tch.
Banner:No gods or kings, only crackhead splicers running around screaming their f*cking heads off.

BioShock Freak

04-02-2008, 08:16 PM

Atlas: "Would you kindly tell me if I look fat in these pants?"

Sander Cohen: "Did you watch 'American Idol' last night?"

Tenenbaum: "Ah f*uck 'em. Kill these little b*tches if you want."

Andrew Ryan: "I denied these answers. Instead I chose the impossible. I chose to build...Euro Disney!"

HAHA! These are hilarious! :D

Atlas:Would you kindly go get me a beer?
Andrew Ryan:A man chooses, a slave is his b*tch.
Banner:No gods or kings, only crackhead splicers running around screaming their f*cking heads off.

LMFAO.

I'll think of some, I'm not that great at coming up with stuff at the top of my head. :o
~Mari.

esipode

04-02-2008, 09:02 PM

Sander Cohen:I want to be like Vincent Van Gogh!(Does anyone get the reference?)
Tenenbaum:Young Lady!Quit sucking that man's blood out right now!
Andrew Ryan:I rejected these answers.Instead I chose something different,I chose the impossible.I chose to build...Legos.

zoudazou

04-02-2008, 09:33 PM

Steinmen: why do we have two? two eyes, two ears, two legs, two breasts...hhhmmm....I just got an idea...ooohhh-riiiighhht gigity-gigity.
Ryan: I AM RYAN!!! YOUR KING!!!
Circus of Value vending machine: (in an Australian accent) Whaddya Buyin'?

BioSoldier

04-03-2008, 06:05 AM

Little Sister: Mister Bubbles, why won't you get up?
Big Daddy: Geez, I'm trying to take a nap here, lugging this suit around makes me tired you know!

I can't think of any others.

Arnuma

04-03-2008, 06:30 AM

Big Daddy 1: Good day old chap, lovely weather we're having on this fine afternoon.
BD 2: Quite fine indeed, but have you heard the news going around town recently?
BD 1: I can't say I have, do tell.
BD 2: Well supposedly there's this crazed maniac on the lose killing anyone he sees fit.
BD 1: Well that is quite a spot of bother, I suppose if we see any odd looking characters around we should just ignore them.
BD 2: Indeed

Atlas-Puppet

04-03-2008, 08:42 AM

Espiode that one about Van Gough is hilarious, yes I get the reference.

SPLICER: ADAM,I NEED ADAM! (Drinks from LS)

DIET DOCTOR: Tut tut, this ADAM is bad for the aterys, why not try diet ADAM? Sea slug free!

ZiLLa

04-03-2008, 05:37 PM

Whats teh reference? :p

Andrew Ryan: ..Instead I chose something different, I chose the impossible, I chose to build.. A RANDOM UNDERWATER PALACE!

BioShock Freak

04-03-2008, 05:49 PM

^Let's just say Vincent Van Goh "cut" one of his ears off at one point. LMFAO. :D:D:D
~Mari.

BioShock Freak

04-03-2008, 06:13 PM

HAHA! Does this work? :D
Sorry for the horrible paint job, I'm not that great at it. :D
(I LOVE the Sparta pictures. :D)
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b12/mary_princess/a_ryan.jpg

~Mari.

Atlas.

04-03-2008, 06:15 PM

^^HAHA lol :D

nice one Mari :D

Hector Rodriguez

04-03-2008, 06:21 PM

I don't usually say this, but this deserves it. ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!:D

esipode

04-03-2008, 06:37 PM

I'm glad people liked the Van Gogh thing.(I liked it too:D )
BD 1:You know what the problem with these suits are?
BD 2:No,what?
BD 1:Gas Compression.

Andrew Ryan:Jack, I am your father.
Jack:OMG REALLY!
Andrew Ryan:April Fools!:D

Krall

04-03-2008, 06:47 PM

hahahaha, really good ones :D

Atlas.

04-03-2008, 06:53 PM

Atlas (in Fontaine voice): Now its time to take back Rapture and -
Diane McClintock (enters): ..Ryan did. I can't wait to tell Atlas. He'll be so pleased
Atlas (normal voice): Uhh, Miss McClintock!...what are you doing here? ....Would you kindly KNOCK before you come barging in here!! :mad:

"I'm all spliced up and ready to hit the town!"

i cant come up with any good ones :p

esipode

04-03-2008, 06:55 PM

Little confusing,but good.

(cr*p, can't think of any right now.Hold on folks,i'll think of something good.)

coffee009

04-03-2008, 07:59 PM

A big daddy mumbling "i wish i never met this little girl"

Hector Rodriguez

04-03-2008, 10:02 PM

"Rapture. Where the artist need only fear ADAM-crazed, homicidal psycopaths."

Andrew Ryan

Atlas-Puppet

04-04-2008, 03:20 AM

HAHA! Does this work? :D
Sorry for the horrible paint job, I'm not that great at it. :D
(I LOVE the Sparta pictures. :D)
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b12/mary_princess/a_ryan.jpg

~Mari.

LMFAO

RYAN: A time to live a time to die a time to build, and a time to eat soy!

Atlas: Boyo. Listen to me. I've got a burger and a beer, but the splicers have cut me of from them. I know you must feel like the most unluckiest guy in the world right know, but please, find my lunch in Neptune's Bounty.

BioShock Freak

04-04-2008, 03:23 AM

^Lmfao. I like Atlas'. :D
Wish I could come up with some good ones. Hmm...

~Mari.

ZiLLa

04-04-2008, 03:44 AM

Sander Cohen when angered: LOCK AND LOAD *****ES!

Hector Rodriguez

04-04-2008, 04:33 AM

Anna Culpepper? We have a great relationship. Why can't you enter her apartment? Uhhh...
SANDER COHEN

esipode

04-04-2008, 04:54 PM

Alright I got some now.

Andrew Ryan:Was a man sent to kill,or A NINJA ASSASIN!
BD:Could someone scratch my a*s?I cant reach mine.
BD:Nobody move!I dropped my contacts.

BioShock Freak

04-04-2008, 09:06 PM

^LMFAO!
~Mari.

Wrenchy

04-05-2008, 11:27 AM

Jack: Why do you wear that bunny mask?
Cohen: Why do you wear that man mask? (Donny Darko reference)

Steinman: This one, too fat! This one, too tall. This one. Well actually... this one looks just fine as is.

Sullivan:When it was done, with Cullpepper. I left her as she was in the bath. I saw this bag of preztels lying on the chair nearby. I took them so they could be of use to someone.

Atlas: Crikey! Whatch ya'self ther'r splicers round these parts. Plenty dangerous....

Hold on kid I'm gonna try ta' remember, the accent I was usin' before. Ma brain and my mouth don't seem'ta want to keep together. I'll be done before you can say "Phony over-da-top irishmen"

esipode

04-05-2008, 11:44 AM

I've only got 1 right now sorry.

Sander Cohen:*Sees the moving Plaster Splicers*."Um,i might have gone a little bit too far with this.

Krall

04-05-2008, 12:01 PM

Sander Cohen:*Sees the moving Plaster Splicers*."Um,i might have gone a little bit too far with this.

Steinman: This one, too fat! This one, too tall. This one. Well actually... this one looks just fine as is.

great ones!

esipode

04-05-2008, 12:31 PM

thx!But i still think my Van Gogh one is best by far.(Of mine, i mean.)

MushroomBoy

04-05-2008, 12:34 PM

Tenenbaum: noice werk, BOYOOOO~!

to be honest, i just kidna pictured her saying that and laughed. xD

Atlas.

04-05-2008, 03:30 PM

^lol ;)

Public Announcement: If you are an 'angel' do not approach the Little Sisters

Sander Cohen: "I want to take the ears off but i cant!...wait..maybe i can if i use this scalpel..."

continuation of the find my lunch one..

Atlas: "Get out and we'll regroup! Once i get reunited with my lunch then we can get the hell out of here!"

BioShock Freak

04-05-2008, 05:13 PM

Atlas: Boyo. Listen to me. I've got a burger and a beer, but the splicers have cut me of from them. I know you must feel like the most unluckiest guy in the world right know, but please, find my lunch in Neptune's Bounty.

I love this one, but would sound funnier if it said "Would you kindly find my lunch in Neptune's Bounty"
Lol. :D

~Mari.

MonkeyFish

04-05-2008, 05:38 PM

Diane McClintock: And Dr Steinman was so interested in my case... after one of the anaesthetic injections I was apparently pregnant but...
Andrew Ryan: Well, there are two ways to solve a mystery, uncover it, or ignore it. You're not there now! You're not killing the splicers! LALALALALA!
Big Daddy: That's it little sister... Say hello to Big Daddy...

esipode

04-05-2008, 05:48 PM

BD:I swear to god if this little girl moves any slower i'm gonna kill 'er my self!
Banner:A man ceates,a parasite has absolutely nothing to do with anything.
LS:If you wanted soem ADAM you could have just asked.

ZiLLa

04-05-2008, 06:14 PM

Little Sister: Why do they call you Big Daddy?
Big Daddy: *unzip*

lolololololol.

Little Sister: Why do I call you Mr. Bubbles again?
Big Daddy: Remember? Over in Sydney few years back I was a pedophile clown that used to steal little girls away from there family's..
Little Sister: Oh yeah, thats right.

The second Big Daddy thing was a true story by the way.
In Sydney, the police had "Operation Bubbles" underway because this birthday party clown called "Mr. Bubbles" was stealing little girls and doing you-know-what too them in his secret apartment..
Freaky, I know.

MonkeyFish

04-05-2008, 06:29 PM

Tenenbaum: I know that you need to use that plasmid when rescuing the little sisters... but why do you stroke them?
Andrew Ryan: I'm Andrew Ryan. Just thought I'd tell you.

Splicer 1: Why aren't you fighting back, I'm shooting you in the face!
Splicer 2: I'm a pacifist!

Tenenbaum: Here, take this! *Throws plasmid* It'll give you more ADAM for harvesting the little sister.

coffee009

04-05-2008, 07:25 PM

Splicer Come here little sister, hey bouncer look over there *grabs LS* *bouncer looks back* bouncer you can have her

Zeppelin Rocks

04-05-2008, 07:36 PM

Splicer 1: OMG a Big Daddy!
Splicer 2: Where?
Splicer 1: April Fools (I know it's late)
***************************
Big Daddy 1: Another rough day at work?
Big Daddy 2: Ya I got paired up with this stupid little girl who thought my name was Mr. Bubbles and she was so slow I was gonna kill her myself by the end of the day.
***************************
Ryan: I'm Andrew Ryan and i'm here to cough cough.. *sigh*
Ryan take 2: i'm andrew ryan and i'm here to *achoo*... grrrrr......
Ryan take 3: i'm andrew ryan and i'm here to... oh screw it go get me some asprin would you kindly
**********************************
Peter Griffon: this reminds me of this one time at the drunken clam..
Big Daddy: you're not even in this game....
Little Sister: look Mr.Bubbles, a whale!

Wrenchy

04-06-2008, 09:22 PM

Splicer: I'm the doctor here!
Splicer #2: And who gave you a license to practice anything even remotely medical?

Bouncer: Under da sea! Under da sea! Where it is wetter, there it is better, take it from me!

Diane Mcclintock: We went on a raid inside the mall today. We snagged 31 pepbars, 4 six packs of beer, a vodka, and a double cheeseburger. We lost McGee, Epstein and Vallette. We got one of those potato chip bags in the bargain, though. It was something awful what they had to do to that vending machine to get the produce, but we didn't start this thing. Ryan did. I can't wait to tell Atlas. He'll be so pleased...

BioShockWins

04-06-2008, 09:43 PM

Diane Mcclintock: We went on a raid inside the mall today. We snagged 31 pepbars, 4 six packs of beer, a vodka, and a double cheeseburger. We lost McGee, Epstein and Vallette. We got one of those potato chip bags in the bargain, though. It was something awful what they had to do to that vending machine to get the produce, but we didn't start this thing. Ryan did. I can't wait to tell Atlas. He'll be so pleased...

If it that wasn't so long, and there are no sigs... this would be mine!

+45

BioShock Freak

04-06-2008, 11:15 PM

Bouncer: Under da sea! Under da sea! Where it is wetter, there it is better, take it from me!

OMG!!!!!!!!!! I LOOOOOOOOVE this one!!! THIS would be MY sig if we could have sigs. Lmao.
~Mari.

Atlas.

04-07-2008, 01:15 PM

BioShock Freak

04-07-2008, 02:30 PM

I liked that one too, but the under the sea one caught my attention SOOO much. I've always been and have been til the day, a Little Mermaid fan. :D
~Mari.

coffee009

04-07-2008, 04:29 PM

I liked that one too, but the under the sea one caught my attention SOOO much. I've always been and have been til the day, a Little Mermaid fan. :D
~Mari.

um, little mermaid, no offense but isent that a little "childish"?

esipode

04-07-2008, 09:12 PM

um, little mermaid, no offense but isent that a little "childish"?

Probably,unless your a girl.

Oh, i have a good one,but it's a picture.I'll post it later when i can find it.

BioShockWins

04-07-2008, 09:23 PM

Probably,unless your a girl.

Oh, i have a good one,but it's a picture.I'll post it later when i can find it.

Are you saying girls are childish?
Racist... :rolleyes:

BioShock Freak

04-07-2008, 09:48 PM

What's wrong with me liking the Little Mermaid? Yes I'm a girl but no, I'm not childish. Jeez. :mad:
~Mari.

MushroomBoy

04-07-2008, 09:51 PM

Are you saying girls are childish?
Racist... :rolleyes:

wouldn't that be sexist? xD

also, little mermaid wins. but if rapture was down there with'im......cool stuff would go down.

BioShock Freak

04-07-2008, 09:55 PM

It'd be cool if there was a mermaid swimming by one of the windows. :D
~Mari.

Atlas-Puppet

04-08-2008, 04:40 AM

(Jack finds a dead cat)

JACK: Everybody wants to be a cat...

Wrenchy

04-08-2008, 08:52 AM

Circus of Values Machine: "Doncha want a baloon?"

Fitzpatrick: "It's nine o' clock on a Saturday. Regular crowd full of fears, there's a basketcase up in the balcony, raving 'bout his rabbit ears. He says "Son, can you play me a memory? I'm not really sure how it goes. But if you mess it up just one more time, I'll make sure the piano blows."

Sing us a song, you're the piano man..."

Atlas-Puppet

04-08-2008, 08:54 AM

Cov: Hack Me! Hack Me!

BioShock Freak

04-08-2008, 04:11 PM

esipode

04-08-2008, 05:12 PM

BD:So my job is to do what again?Uhha?And why?

coffee009

04-08-2008, 06:10 PM

Atlas, o screw it, im gunna take over NY insted of rapture

Shagrat

04-09-2008, 02:50 AM

Atlas: "Please!"

Atlas-Puppet

04-09-2008, 05:31 AM

(Sees spider splicer)

Jack: Spider Pig, Spider Pig does whatever a... spider pig does.

BD: No I don't want to watch your circus trick
LS: But look, after shooting myself I don't die! (Puts gun in mouth) Oh...

esipode

04-09-2008, 06:21 PM

Tourist:This place sucks!
Jack:Cohen,you have serious f**king problems...
BD (Bouncer):For the last time,I don't have 8 eyes!

coffee009

04-09-2008, 06:22 PM

BD (Bouncer):For the last time,I don't have 8 eyes!
ROFL LOL!!

BioShock Freak

04-09-2008, 06:35 PM

LMFAO I liked that one too. :D:D:D
~Mari.

coffee009

04-09-2008, 06:50 PM

BD: Can i come into the sister portal too?

BioShockWins

04-09-2008, 07:13 PM

http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x9/TimDaleYo/poison.jpg

BD: Can i come into the sister portal too?

Speaking of which...

http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x9/TimDaleYo/portal.jpg

I like my first one better.
I know it isn't a very "profesh" job. But I ain't no avocado... uhh... Picaso.

coffee009

04-09-2008, 07:38 PM

the first one they look sleepy

BioShockWins

04-09-2008, 07:39 PM

the first one they look sleepy

Well, I can assure you. They ain't.

Those Little Sisters:
SURPRISE!

coffee009

04-09-2008, 07:40 PM

Then a BD will come and say Get ready to die
then they all cheer YAY!

smartalec5595

04-09-2008, 08:20 PM

Hector Rodriguez

04-10-2008, 04:19 AM

Oh no he didn't.
(talking about coffee009.)

ZiLLa

04-10-2008, 04:26 AM

(To Hector)
Di'n't**

Hector Rodriguez

04-10-2008, 06:44 AM

Yah yah yah I know how it's pronounced. What's with **?

esipode

04-10-2008, 10:43 AM

BD:Your on your own little girl...
Jack:Screw this,I'm out of here!
Jack:Run!It's a plot twist!

ct1615

04-10-2008, 03:56 PM

Little Sister: "Mr. Bubbles, why do the bubbles only come out of your behind?”

Atlas: “Would you kindly stop playing with yourself?!”

Andrew Ryan: "Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his own brow?

No, says the man in Baghdad. It belongs to me and my sons will kill your entire family if you don’t agree!
No, says the man in the Amsterdam. It should be used in the community bong.
No, says the man in Paris. Why sweat when it’s easier to sit around all day and drink wine.

Atlas.

04-10-2008, 04:10 PM

^ LOL :D

Little Sister: Look Mr B, its an angel!

BD: For the last time it aint a freaking angel :mad:

Andrew Ryan: I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose...Rapture. A city where the artist would not fear the censor. Where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality. Where the great would not be constrained by the small. A city where there are so many leaks its surprising that it is even still standing

BioShock Freak

04-10-2008, 04:21 PM

^Lmao. Good one. I like ct1615's too. Gosh, I can't come up with any good ones. :(
~Mari.

smartalec5595

04-10-2008, 06:06 PM

i got another 1 but wot do u guys think about my last 1?

LS:look mr.B its an angel...
BD:for the last time b**ch its not an angel its just a dead plasmid junkie ok? it's not an angel i repeat IT'S NOT A F***ING ANGEL!!!!!!!!!
wot do u guys think? :D:D:D:D

smartalec5595

04-10-2008, 09:05 PM

^Lmao. Good one. I like ct1615's too. Gosh, I can't come up with any good ones. :(
~Mari.

you'll come up with 1 just keep thinking;)

esipode

04-10-2008, 09:13 PM

LS: Look Mr.Bubbles, an angel!
BD: Don't pick that up it's dead!

Jack:Oh look!A lighthouse!I better go in there for absolutely no reason even though it's completely black in there and i'll probably fall down the stairs and break my legs...

Gorgeras

04-10-2008, 09:26 PM

Dr Steinman: I've sudden snapped out of my psychosis. I hope I didn't do anything embarrassing while I was under.

Splicer: This all reminds me of that book I read by that batty atheist libertarian woman. What a proper crank.

Dr Steinman Sea-water colder than a witch's tit? Is he serious? How does he know? If so I imagine she can't be comfortable. I'll just strip some more insulation off the pipes in case one comes in and she's freezing. It's very thoughtful of me.

coffee009

04-11-2008, 06:22 AM

Jack:Oh look!A lighthouse!I better go in there for absolutely no reason even though it's completely black in there and i'll probably fall down the stairs and break my legs...
thats what i thought when i first played...

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 10:02 PM

ok i got 1
jack:*is searching around arcadia and market* "ok now wheres the gift shop?? i no its by the pile of splicers who died
*go to spot where the pile of splicers is*
*all the splicers jump up and say: SUPRISE!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!*
jack:its not my birthday
splicers: o well uhhhhhhhh...... *splicers jump jack and kill him* :D well wot do ya think?:D

i got another 1 but wot do u guys think about my last 1?

LS:look mr.B its an angel...
BD:for the last time b**ch its not an angel its just a dead plasmid junkie ok? it's not an angel i repeat IT'S NOT A F***ING ANGEL!!!!!!!!!
wot do u guys think? :D:D

come on people wot do you think about mine? plez answer because if you dont my head will explode from a mental condition so plez tell me what you think

esipode

04-11-2008, 10:16 PM

BD:Oh,i'm supposed to PROTECT the little girl...whoops.
BD: Women and Big Daddies first!
Blood writing on a wall:Jack wuz heer

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 10:28 PM

BD:Oh,i'm supposed to PROTECT the little girl...whoops.
BD: Women and Big Daddies first!
Blood writing on a wall:Jack wuz heer

lol jak wuz heer good 1 man

:D :D :D :D

esipode

04-11-2008, 10:30 PM

I thought that one was the best too.
Btw-Not trying to make this competetive or anything (that's the last thing i want)but who would you say out of the people who have posted on here already,who has the best phrases?(Say me or i kill you! JK)

BioShock Freak

04-11-2008, 10:34 PM

Blood writing on a wall:Jack wuz heer

HAHA! I like this one too. :D
~Mari.

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 10:34 PM

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 10:35 PM

mari did you think of any yet?

esipode

04-11-2008, 10:35 PM

ok i think esipode..... oops you said the best?

:D :D :D :D

I kill you!bit*h

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 10:38 PM

I kill you!bit*h

lmfao

ok i think the best 2 wer.... the ones by smartalec5595

:D :D :D :D

Cyber999

04-11-2008, 10:39 PM

Dr. Steinman: An intruder! And he's ugly!!!
Jack: Have YOU looked in the mirror lately?!?!

"So this big daddy walks into a bar..."

Plasmid Ad: New in plasmid technology! POWERTHIRST

Jack to the BGM: WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP THIS CREEPY MUSIC?! IT'S FREAKIN' ME OUT!!!

Ryan: I haven't chosen a place on the wall for you yet. Tell me if you have any preference
Jack: OOO! I found one! Right there! I wanna be RIGHT THERE!!!

Sander Cohen: Sure i murdered a lady who made fun of me...THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME A PSYCHO YOU LITTLE [PHRASE CENSORED]

Fontaine: WOULD YOU KINDLY STOP RUINING MY PLANS???

that's all i got off the top of my head for now. sorry if i repeated someone's, i didn't feel like looking through all the pages. >_<

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 10:42 PM

esipode

04-11-2008, 10:45 PM

BD:Where the hell does the cigarette go?
Ryan:A mane drinks Coke,a slave drinks Pepsi.(No offense to any Pepsi fans out there,just a joke.)
Atlas:Would you kindly go buy a copy of Bioshock?

Cyber999

04-11-2008, 10:51 PM

Jack: ZOMBIES!!! no...worse than zombies...MINDLESSLY SPLICED UP MORONS!!!

Rapture resident: Hey big daddy, how are you doing?
Big Daddy: WAAAAARRRRGGGG!!!
Rapture resident: Yeah I feel that way sometimes too.

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 10:52 PM

the would you kindly would be an inside joke to people who have bioshock already so not a very good ad

esipode

04-11-2008, 10:57 PM

Splicer:GET THE F*CK AWAY FROM ME!
Jack:Then why are you chasing me!

BD:So,explain to me again how a a wooden stick on a bow killed my friend?

Blood on Wall:10NBom (Anyone get it?)

(ok,so this isn't some of my BEST work,but it's all i got right now.)

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 11:00 PM

yes i got the 10nbom 1

the wooden stick 1 is refering to the cross bow?

esipode

04-11-2008, 11:02 PM

the wooden stick 1 is refering to the cross bow?

Yup,you would have to be a three year old to not figure this one out.But in your case we'll make an exception.(JK:D )

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 11:05 PM

gggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr................. i dislike you and rember dont try to start a war you can not win even if i tried to let you win

:D :D :D :D

esipode

04-11-2008, 11:05 PM

Stop spamming!Stay on topic!

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 11:08 PM

ok ok im sowwy but wot do you think about my posts?

:D :D :D :D

esipode

04-11-2008, 11:11 PM

ok ok im sowwy but wot do you think about my posts?

:D :D :D :D

They're ok,but work on them, they could be funnier.

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 11:12 PM

ok ill try but any suggestions?

esipode

04-11-2008, 11:13 PM

Sorry,my joke well is all dried up at the moment.

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 11:14 PM

mine too
im on break and too lazy to think even if it is for the good of man

esipode

04-11-2008, 11:23 PM

(Got 1 more)

Splicer #1:Hey!I just realized something!
Splicer #2:What?
Splicer #1:This place is like Atlantis!

smartalec5595

04-11-2008, 11:28 PM

lol good 1 man
i think i got 1 i saw on a flash movie once
BD1: ive got a problem *bubbles float out of the back of the suit
BD2: o gross man just gross
*they are standing on a bridge and you see fish floating belly up out side*
BD1:my doctor says i have a problem
*a huge cloud of fish floats by*

BioShock Freak

04-12-2008, 12:44 AM

esipode

04-12-2008, 12:45 AM

What's 10NBom?
~Mari.

(10=Ten)(N=en)(Bom=Baum)
Tenenbaum

BioShock Freak

04-12-2008, 12:47 AM

Ahhh..I see. Lmao. Thanks. :D
~Mari.

esipode

04-12-2008, 12:49 AM

Ahhh..I see. Lmao. Thanks. :D
~Mari.

NP.Any luck with coming up with ideas for this thread Bioshock Freak?

BioShockWins

04-12-2008, 07:40 AM

Here's one
Jack: Anything.

esipode

04-12-2008, 05:27 PM

Here's one
Jack: Anything.

I don't get it.:confused:

Atlas.

04-12-2008, 05:32 PM

I don't get it.:confused:
i think he's referring to the fact that Jack doesnt speak throughout the game (other than right at the start on the plane)

LS: chocolate is better than grapes, chocolate is better than grapes!

BD: No **** sherlock

esipode

04-12-2008, 05:33 PM

Ok,now i get it...:D

coffee009

04-12-2008, 07:23 PM

LS: chocolate is better than grapes, chocolate is better than grapes!

BD: No **** sherlock lolololol!!!

BioShock Freak

04-12-2008, 08:33 PM

Lmao. No, I can't think of anything good. I think of something but it just sounds stupid. :confused: Hmm....
~Mari.

BioShockWins

04-12-2008, 08:52 PM

http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x9/TimDaleYo/a_ryan.jpg
EDIT: I hope you can see that...

BioShock Freak

04-12-2008, 08:54 PM

HAHAHAHA!!!! That's funny! Good one. :D
~Mari.

esipode

04-12-2008, 11:41 PM

Lmao. No, I can't think of anything good. I think of something but it just sounds stupid. :confused: Hmm....
~Mari.

Just say whatever comes to mind!Something's better than nothing!

AspirationRealized

04-13-2008, 12:48 AM

Splicer: This all reminds me of that book I read by that batty atheist libertarian woman. What a proper crank.

Teehee. 10chars

smartalec5595

04-13-2008, 11:43 AM

ok i cant think of any more any1 got any ideas?

Cyber999

04-13-2008, 04:48 PM

SLIGHTLY off-topic:

Cyber999 presents:
<<<How NOT to talk to a big daddy>>>

"Yo, Biggy-D! WASSUP?"
"Rosie, baby, how you doin'?"
"How about you lose some weight you fat [REST OF SENTENCE CENSORED]!"
"Well 'WAAAARRRGGGG' to you too. Wanna fight about it, tubby?"
"Gimme your little girl, fat boy!"

that's all i got for now

BioShock Freak

04-13-2008, 07:39 PM

^Lmfao. :D
~Mari.

smartalec5595

04-13-2008, 09:07 PM

Wrenchy

04-14-2008, 02:43 PM

Jack: They told me "Son, you're special. You were born to do great things." You know what? They were right. That is unless you consider turning into a genetic freakshow, learning your entire life was a lie, nearly having your heart stop beating because your con-man 'buddy' decided you'd exhausted your purpose, beating your own dad to death with a golf club and contracting about twenty different STD's via "genetic sampling" to be kind of a hamper on your fun.

Atlas: "Now, would you kindly pick up a crowbar or something."
Jack: What, am I Gordon Freeman now?

Atlas.

04-14-2008, 02:56 PM

Atlas: "Now, would you kindly pick up a crowbar or something."
Jack: What, am I Gordon Freeman now?
lol good one :D

well they do have similarities in that like Gordon, Jack also doesnt speak in the game (apart from on the plane). Maybe that was an actual reference?...

MonkeyFish

04-14-2008, 04:49 PM

In the safe house...
Tenenbaum: God damnit, those girls are in here again! Shoo before I get my shotgun!
Tenenbaum: You know, there are the same amount of girls if you rescue or harvest them... wierd...

Andrew Ryan: You think those leaks are due to the pipes bursting? I'll tell you, if those water company types don't like you...

LS: I can see the angels, dancing in the sky!
BD: Damn, they must hide some good junk in those vents...

Peachy: God damnit... of all the places in the world why did I stay in a f-f-f-f...
Atlas: Well, looks like Peachy's dead and you can't get past... GAME OVER!

coffee009

04-14-2008, 05:26 PM

MonkeyFish

04-14-2008, 06:13 PM

Atlas: You alright boy-o? First time plasmid's a real kick from me in my superhuman mode when I try to kill you!
Jack: WHAT?!?
Atlas: What? I didn't say anything about me using a code to stop your heart beating!

Suchong: Okay, I am introducing Lot 234 now. No doubt something bad will happen to me and you'll be thinking "hahaha! you got what you deserved! hahaha!" Well I don't care! I don't have to take this! *sound of a door slamming*

BioShock Freak

04-17-2008, 02:59 AM

Female splicer: But you said you were gonna take care of me! What happened?!

Nitro splicer: FINE! I'll take care of you right now! *throws grenage at her*

(Lol. I tried.)
~Mari.

MonkeyFish

04-17-2008, 05:29 AM

BD: I can see the angels, dancing in the sky!
LS: (Big daddy noise)

Steinman: What's that goddess? An intruder? Well hello handsome!
Jack: AWWW! I'm ugly!

ZiLLa

04-17-2008, 06:55 AM

Andrew Ryan: *Playing minigolf* ".. Well, I'm tired, Golf club me wouldya son?"

Cyber999

04-17-2008, 09:18 PM

Audio Diary: "Is this thing on? Hellooooo??? Testing, testing, can you hear me? #%$@! I just wasted a good audio diary box, all for nothing! You wouldn't BELIEVE how much these cost! $500 each!!! Underwater utopia my @$$!"

smartalec5595

04-17-2008, 11:29 PM

Female splicer: But you said you were gonna take care of me! What happened?!

Nitro splicer: FINE! I'll take care of you right now! *throws grenage at her*

(Lol. I tried.)
~Mari.
lol really good 1 but...u misspelled gernade

Panek

04-18-2008, 02:05 AM

LS: I can see the angels, dancing in the sky...
BD: *looks questioningly* What f*ckin' sky?

Tennenbaum: I pity the fool who harvests Little Sisters.

BioShock Freak

04-18-2008, 02:10 AM

lol really good 1 but...u misspelled gernade

Rofl. So did you. :p
~Mari.

MonkeyFish

04-18-2008, 05:23 AM

Fontaine: I have another code... Code Yeller! What? Damn my accent!

Tenenbaum: The little sisters offered you the city and what did you give them? What I cam to expect of you: A molesting. You may have rescued them but you still scarred them for life! SICKO!

BioShock Freak

04-18-2008, 06:17 AM

Tenenbaum: The little sisters offered you the city and what did you give them? What I cam to expect of you: A molesting. You may have rescued them but you still scarred them for life! SICKO!

^Rofl.

~Mari.

esipode

04-18-2008, 03:43 PM

Plaster Splicer:Quit hitting me the wrench jack-a*s!Im still alive!
Jack:Holy Sh*t it talks!

MonkeyFish

04-18-2008, 04:55 PM

Tenenbaum: The path of the righteous is not always an easy one, but I will reward you, somehow. Perhaps you could come over my house sometime...

esipode

04-18-2008, 07:43 PM

Cohen:The course of Rapture never did run smooth...(If you don't know what that is from i'm going to smack you!)
Splicer:Jack!Pick that Eve Hypo up right now mister!I'm not your mother!

LS:Look Mr.B,an angel!
BD:Wow,what are you doing here?
Angel:Yeah um,i I kind of made a gay joke about god so he sent me here...

coffee009

04-18-2008, 09:51 PM

LS:"Look Mr. B, angels!"
BD: *holds drill into face* "some day, but not today"

lololololololol

04-19-2008, 01:06 AM

Atlas: Would you kindly hook up my 360 so I can play Halo 3?

Ryan: Hey jack are my golf skillz pwnage or what?

Atlas.

04-19-2008, 03:50 PM

Over the radio:

Atlas: Go to Neptune's Bounty.....find my family. Please
*does evil laugh* (in Fontaine voice) If only you knew the truth, there sure aint no family in that sub kid!

Jack: WHAT?!?

Atlas: Oh ****! umm....let me just turn this off...

AmmOKay

04-20-2008, 06:33 AM

I am Andrew Ryan!

And i'd like to ask you a question; could you bring my old socks to the laundry, please?

Hector Rodriguez

04-20-2008, 07:14 AM

Hector Rodriguez - Is this the meeting place for Alcoholics Anonymous?

ZiLLa

04-20-2008, 07:23 AM

Hector needs his AA meeting.

Fontaine: Thanks kid, for everythin' you done for me. *Cowboy voice* Now I'ma go rob me a bank! YEEHAW! *shoots guns in the air*

BioShock Freak

04-20-2008, 07:31 AM

^Rofl. :D
~Mari.

MonkeyFish

04-20-2008, 07:34 AM

After Jack puts Ryan's genetic key into the machine:

Fontaine: Hahaha! Now I control Rapture!
Jack: *Unplugs one of the cables*
Fontaine: Oh you little b****.

ZiLLa

04-20-2008, 07:36 AM

Haha.

Ryan: A man chooses, a slave obeys!
Jack: *Smashes Golf Club against Ryans head*
Ryan: *Spawns in Vita-Chamber and runs over to Jack like a little girl* HEHE! AGAIN AGAIN! :D
Jack: *Smashes Golf Club against Ryans head a second time*

Repeat the above. :p

MonkeyFish

04-20-2008, 07:54 AM

Atlas: Look I know that you're the protagonist in an FPS but do You really have to be that silent?
Jack: ...
Atlas: Well if you're not going to be sociable then I'm not gonna help you! You hear me? Screw you! I can get the beer and crisps from the bathysphere myself! GO HELP YOURSELF!

BennyBaker

04-20-2008, 09:37 AM

Splicer: She took it how deep in her Batty-Sphere :eek:

Jack: I just cant fathom out where this lighthouse goes...

Fontaine: Would you kindly not hurt me

MonkeyFish

04-21-2008, 05:34 AM

Suchong: Baby status, two years old. Gross musculature growth of *sigh* unfit one year old. Suchong will get killed at dawn.

Suchong: Baby status, crapped in diaper.
Wife: This isn't an experiment, it's our baby!
Suchong: Wife status, total b****.

You find Suchong this time with a massive red mark across his face and lying next to a cot. :eek:

Deer Man 420

04-21-2008, 09:01 AM

Tape Recording-
"Eh Mr Ryan........... i sent him a letter stating I would like to build a BBQ rib and Hash joint pub resturaunt in the farmers markets. I offered to build it meself with my earnings I am the best damn hustler in Rapture"

Ineorsari

04-21-2008, 04:07 PM

Ryan: This is Rapture! *Kicks Fontaine off of cliff*

Fontaine: 300 Spartans? Pffft. Don't be ridiculous. I have 300 splicers!

esipode

04-21-2008, 04:17 PM

MonkeyFish

04-21-2008, 04:48 PM

Scientist1: The insect swarm plasmid went wrong...
Scientist2: What do you mean?
Scientist1: It's made from the man's flesh and someone with incinerate, enrage, electrobolt and winterblast used it so...
Bee: Yes, and they were super intelligent as well...

smartalec5595

04-21-2008, 05:28 PM

I have a funny picture .(not sure if it is appropriate for THIS thread,but i just thought it was funny)Halo fans will get a kick out of this.

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/4580/bioshockvshalo3sk7.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
lol very funny man (yes ima halo fan) i can imagine da BD askin 4 adam again then chief pulls out a rocket launcher..... alright tuff guy ask me again....he asks again...BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *BD still standin there but now his eyes are red* o sh*t *master chief runs to banshee*

:D :D :D

Dr. Locke

04-21-2008, 09:47 PM

Imagine the beginning of the game where you first enter the lighthouse.

Now imagine Jack as a big sassy 21st century chick.

Jack: OH H*LL NO! I AIN'T GOIN' IN THERE! D*MN, WHERES DA LIGHT SWITCH?

«d‹◊›я»

kglaser

04-22-2008, 10:26 PM

Little Sister: Mr. Bubbles, when are we gonna find the Adam? Huh? Huh?? *pokes him*
BD: We'll get there WHEN WE GET THERE!!
LS: I wanna go potty. Buy me an ice cream? Why can't I have a cell phone? Alice says her daddy can beat up my daddy. Can I have a pony?
BD: Geez!! So help me, I WILL TURN THIS UNDERWATER DYSTOPIAN CITY AROUND....

coffee009

04-23-2008, 06:17 AM

Helz

04-23-2008, 09:12 AM

Circus of Values: What's the matter kid, don't you like clowns? Why? Don't we make ya laugh, aren't we ****in' funny? You best come up with an answer because I'm gonna be checking up on you and your mama, and if you don't have a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole ****in' family!

On a side note, my wife got really annoyed by the vending machine's laughter while I was playing in the living room. :D

BioShock Freak

04-23-2008, 04:04 PM

^LOL. That's funny, but scary. I'm terrified of clowns and if I walked up to a COV that said that to me, I'd have a heart attack. Lol.
~Mari.

coffee009

04-23-2008, 04:06 PM

^ people had a poll at a school saying if kids like clowns, and only 18% did outta like 1000 kids, so 82% hated them.

BioShock Freak

04-23-2008, 04:23 PM

Jeez. Clowns are scary. :(
~Mari.

smartalec5595

04-23-2008, 04:26 PM

creepy depressed creatures arent they?

kglaser

04-23-2008, 09:41 PM

My kids think clowns are funny, but they're six, so I forgive them. They'll wise up. ;)
(I can't stand clowns and neither can my dad.)

MonkeyFish

04-24-2008, 03:42 AM

Ryan: LOLZ, I IS TEH HAXXORZ, U IS TEH SUXXORZ! LOL FAG!

Atlas: O know! I be out of taters! Time to emmigrate! To the US to be an irish cop!

Cohen: TEEHEEHEE! You won't find absinthe in my room this time! HAHAHA!

Atlas.

05-01-2008, 08:24 PM

^lol

Hephaestus:

Ryan: I haven't chosen a spot for you on the wall yet. Let me know if you have a preference.

Jack: Well I want that spot right there, facing the wall

Ryan: Oh...Sorry but I already have plans for that particular spot -

Jack: *takes a deep breath and holds it until face goes blue*

Ryan: Alright, Alright you can go there! Jeeze..

Panek

05-01-2008, 08:40 PM

Fontaine (after getting owned in the final battle): F*CKING LAG!

ZiLLa

05-02-2008, 03:06 AM

Fontaine: *Picks up heavy pillar and poses* Mwuahaha! *Drops pillar on himself* .. Ow.

WrenchMaster

05-02-2008, 02:41 PM

Steinman: "An intruder? He is ugly! Ugly, ugly, UG-...What's this doing here? Where is my scalpel? D:"

Cohen: "Go ahead...touch it. When I am dust, this is what they'll-YOU SCRAPED IT YOU F*CKER!"

Panek

05-02-2008, 02:49 PM

Steinman (looks at Jack): I'll recommend you for the Congressional Medal of... Ugly!* <laugh>

* - FMJ

asmcheese

05-08-2008, 03:48 PM

lol funny stuff

Atlas-Puppet

05-10-2008, 01:37 AM

Fontaine: This plasmid will turn you to rubb- WHAT! CUTE BUNNY PLASMID

Mcdonaugh: Ok Ryan, we have two pitchforks to use against Fontaine's army
(Ryan feints)

esipode

05-10-2008, 01:48 AM

Well,i haven't been back in this thread for a while. Time to contribute another two cents to it.

Cohen: "I ran out of plaster so I used cotton candy on the last one."

Splicer 1: "Another Big Daddy dead by the hands of a splicer."
Splicer 2: "No,they jt never put enough dam* airholes in the thing."

(One last one,it's a picture)
http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/5627/biolol3yc6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

Renight

05-10-2008, 02:22 AM

*Jack sneaking around a mad BD*

Atlas: "So what are you wearing?"

Jack: "Now is not the time!"

Big Daddy Ben

05-16-2008, 09:05 AM

OK I know this thread is old but I just found it and I have a couple

**Headline of Veterinary Medicane Monthly**

Dogs flee Rapture, Prove They ARE Smarter than Cats

**Discussion between two Roadkill Pickup Workers**

RPW1: "Thank Ryan for Big Daddys and Jack! They keep us in business"

RPW2: "I like the LS because they make the bodies lighter but could they not make such a dam* mess!!"

sighman

05-18-2008, 11:54 PM

Circus of Value vending machine: (in an Australian accent) Whaddya Buyin'?

LMAO LOL thats the best RE4 reference I've ever heard apart from this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oXx0qwe0wc

esipode

05-19-2008, 02:29 AM

Dead Cat:I Can has cheezburger?

Jack: Putting the "I" in team since 1946!

Splicer: So,Jack is it?DO you come here often?
Jack:Not anymore!

BioShock Freak

05-19-2008, 04:37 AM

Lol, I like the "I can has cheezburger?" one. :D
~Mari.

Shagrat

05-19-2008, 06:19 AM

LS complaint:

I have been harvesting ADAM all my life and now I got tired of it... Haunting empty corridors does not seem as a happy childhood to me. And that syringe I am carrying... every time I stick it into another poor corpse, my stomach does a sommersault from disgust. Or is that that slug which was implanted to me against my and parents' will?
I also does not like so-called Big Daddies. They are oblivious to everything except anything trying to kill me which is not exactly what I would call a proper fatherhood. Moreover they stink. Don't you wash them at all? And I don't feel safe with them. I have heard rumors that they can be easily beaten by anyone clever enough to get one and one barrel of flammables together. I don't like the reference to Rosie the Riveter. Comparing hard working woman who inspired masses of other women to help the war-exhausted country to a mindless moaning diving suit ghost is beyond all remainders of ethics that were left in this hypocritical place.
I am done with this job. Go and get some boys in this business, they could be interested.

Atlas.

05-19-2008, 10:02 AM

Circus of Value vending machine: (in an Australian accent) Whaddya Buyin'?

lol thats a good one, i love the merchant in Re4 :) then Jack can go "Ahh I'll buy it at a high price"

or "Wwwwelcome Stranga!" ;)

Atlas-Puppet

05-27-2008, 02:55 AM

Sander Cohen: Oh well, who cares about the stupid masterpiece. The exoctant mama had an abortion. (Play through fort frolic and listen to sander cohen closleey and you'll understand the xpectant mama bit.

TheSplicedAndTheUgly

05-29-2008, 09:08 PM

After Escaping Ryan's Office With The Little Sister?

Tennabuam- "Well Since You've Harvested Most Of My Girls You're Gonna Sit Here And Think About What You Did"

LS- "Thats The Man Who Hurts Us"

Jack- " I Didn't Want To, I"M A SLAVE!"

Dr. Locke

05-29-2008, 09:39 PM

Jack: O God damn! Just shot off my f***** toe!

BioShock Freak

05-29-2008, 11:09 PM

^Lol. Good one. :D
~Mari.

Dr J. Steinman

05-30-2008, 05:56 AM

Ryan: "It was not impossible to build Rapture at the bottom of the sea. It was impossible to build it at all!"

"A man writes a poem called the Wild Bunny; that's a marvel. Another man...finds that poem and reads it. Why, that sounds more like...a miracle." - credit goes to a friend for that one. I just thought it was hillarious.

"I came here to build the impossible. You came here to destroy that which you could never build. One of us succeeded..."

"Is a man not entitled to his own personal orchestra? No, says the instrumentalist, it belongs to us. No, says the conductor, it belongs to me. No, says the concertmaster...it belongs to...somebody else. I accepted those answers."

"In the end, the only thing Sander Cohen cares about...is you. And the only thing you care about...is me. It is the nature of things."

Cohen: "You know, I've actually grown quite fond of these ears..."

Steinman: "Wouldn't it be wonderful, if I could do with a brush what that old Spaniard did with a knife! ...oh ****!" -turns off tape-

"Aesthetics...really aren't much to worry about. ~J. Steinman"

That's about all I can think of for now.

Amandatini

06-01-2008, 09:43 AM

Ryan: "It was not impossible to build Rapture at the bottom of the sea. It was impossible to build it at all!"

"A man writes a poem called the Wild Bunny; that's a marvel. Another man...finds that poem and reads it. Why, that sounds more like...a miracle." - credit goes to a friend for that one. I just thought it was hillarious.

"Is a man not entitled to his own personal orchestra? No, says the instrumentalist, it belongs to us. No, says the conductor, it belongs to me. No, says the concertmaster...it belongs to...somebody else. I accepted those answers."

"In the end, the only thing Sander Cohen cares about...is you. And the only thing you care about...is me. It is the nature of things."

Cohen: "You know, I've actually grown quite fond of these ears..."

Oh my God.
I love these :D

FtRapture

06-01-2008, 10:28 AM

So does this thread get closed at 250? Subtracting the post like mine who really don't have a saying..

esipode

06-01-2008, 10:33 AM

Andrew Ryan:It was not impossible to build rapture at teh bottom of the sea, because I didn't have to build it!

Spider Splicer: Ceiling splicer is on ceiling.

LS:Get em' mister B!
*BD throws LS*
BD:B*tch.

smartalec5595

06-01-2008, 10:39 AM

lol i love the BD n LS one :p

Amandatini

06-01-2008, 12:49 PM

Atlas.

06-01-2008, 05:07 PM

So does this thread get closed at 250? Subtracting the post like mine who really don't have a saying..
nah, 250 was just a random number i guess. Had to use something so just went with that. Im not counting them or anything ;)

Dr J. Steinman

06-01-2008, 07:52 PM

Hehe, glad you liked them, Amandatini ;)

"No, says the man in Washington; it belongs to the poor. No, says the man in the Vatican; it belongs to God. No, says the man in Moscow; it belongs to everyone. I rejected those answers. And it's just as well I did - if I didn't, I'd have to give the sweat of my brow to God, the poor AND everyone!"
~Andrew Ryan~

McDonagh: The man makes a lot of sense. Give that much away and what are you left with? I mean for starters you'd need to mass-produce sweat...

Dr. Locke

06-02-2008, 05:18 PM

Jack: Ooooh, that splicer looks pretty dangerous. Better save my progress.

esipode

06-02-2008, 07:42 PM

Jack:*Turns off Vita-Chambers* "Cuz dats how I roll!"

Atlas:I'm...too Irish for my shirt!Too Irish for my shirt!So Irish it hurts!

Jack:What are you doing Atlas?
Altas:Reading Atlas Shrugged. And I have to say I'm dissapointed.
Jack:Why is that?
Atlas:It has nothing to do with me!

Pyronaut

06-05-2008, 01:25 PM

Jack: Oh My God, i've seen my body for the first time... Why do I have those things on my hand?

Ryan: With all these Scientists at the bottom of the sea, my secret plot to build the Worlds first Play Station will be complete!

BD: Oh, this is annoying, this drill on my arm is preventing me from checking my E-Mail. I never actually thought of how bad this drill actually is. And listen to me speak, I sound... I sound like the God Father

Jack: How come SO many of the rooms in this game are dark but i have no flash light. I'm really P'd off at that one, wait, some splicers carry flash lights, how come i can't pick em' up.

Spider Splicer: -mumbling- Spider man, Spider Man, does whatever a spider ca- Oh f*ck, i've been shot!

Ryan: Where the artist would not be bound by the **** censor

Atlas.

06-05-2008, 03:22 PM

Atlas:I'm...too Irish for my shirt!Too Irish for my shirt!So Irish it hurts!

Jack:What are you doing Atlas?
Altas:Reading Atlas Shrugged. And I have to say I'm dissapointed.
Jack:Why is that?
Atlas:It has nothing to do with me!
lol those are good ones :D I like the second one :)

I still haven't come up with any yet..

FtRapture

06-05-2008, 04:02 PM

Jack:What are you doing Atlas?
Altas:Reading Atlas Shrugged. And I have to say I'm dissapointed.
Jack:Why is that?
Atlas:It has nothing to do with me!
Jack: Yeah that's how I felt when I read Jack and the beanstalk.

BioShock Freak

06-05-2008, 04:27 PM

^LOL. :D
~Mari.

Pyronaut

06-05-2008, 04:54 PM

Splicer: Oh my God, I really REALLY need some deoderant....

Atlas: I'm sorry buddy, but you've been played for a sap. They're ain't no Moira, and there ain't no patrick!
-Moira comes bursting into the room-
Moira: Don't be tellin' no lies to guests dear atlas, our boy patrick only wanted Jack to come over for a sleep over.

Lol, i like that picture you put in episode, the "what happens at bring your daughter to work day at NASA thing. I set it as my back ground for my comp
good one anyway

Dr. Locke

06-05-2008, 05:58 PM

Jack: You know flying security bot, you have protected me for so long, killing splicers and knocking down anything that gets in our way, all for me. And ever since I hacked you to become mine, there was something I always wanted to ask you. WILL YOU MARRY ME??!!???!!

rAPTURE IS NO SANE PLACE:D

BlacquePhalcon

06-05-2008, 07:26 PM

One BD to Another: Does this suit make me look fat?:cool:

coffee009

06-05-2008, 08:13 PM

BD1: I cant wait for my new Rosie suit!!!one1!

BD2: heh, good luck with that (lolz)

Justlookaway

06-05-2008, 08:15 PM

Andrew Ryan: You know what this place needs? New drapes! *giggles*

Silas Cobb: Wait a minute! What have you people done with my kitties?

Big Daddyto another: So...working hard or hardly working?

Fontaine: So it turns out that this entire thing was a dream. So...wake up, and put down the wrench.

Splicer: Bullets! My only weakness. HOW COULD YOU KNOW?

esipode

06-05-2008, 08:25 PM

Jack:This blows.
Splicer:What?
Jack:I wasn't invited to the Bioshock afterparty because my character is dead.

BlacquePhalcon

06-05-2008, 08:50 PM

Splicer: Why do put ammo in vending machines? Do they want us to shoot each other up?
other splicer: OH.. MY.. GOD.. you're right... IT'S A CONSPIERICY!

Andrew Ryan: A man chooses a slave obeys... Would you kindly kill me.. A MAN CHOOSE A SLA- OW scratch that, would you kindly let me live!?!

LS: Look Mr. B i see light coming from his belly
Splicer:No! It's not what you think! I'm just playing with my flashlight!

Atlas.

06-12-2008, 06:40 PM

Andrew Ryan: You know what this place needs? New drapes! *giggles*

that one made me laugh lol :D

Steinman: This one, too fat!! This one, too tall!! This one, too symmetrical!! This one, (sees himself in mirror) too...perfect!!!

Dr. Locke

06-12-2008, 07:45 PM

Jack: Ooooh! Hershey Bar. *Munch, munch* Wait...., whats this! O MY GOD! PEANUTS!

http://i306.photobucket.com/albums/nn259/2kchat/docsiglnk.png

BlacquePhalcon

06-13-2008, 05:00 AM

L.S.: Mr. B you smell HORRIBLE!
BD: Oh i got a new cologne, you dont like it?

esipode

06-13-2008, 08:52 AM

Splicer:*cough* *cough*
Splicer 2: What's wrong with you?
Splicer:I *cough*, got a new allregy medecation *cough* today, but it isn't *cough* working.
Splicer 2: Maybe because your drinking plasmids?
Splicer:*Drops dead*

Apple-13

06-13-2008, 10:17 AM

Jack: Man, pep bars are quite filling I wonder how many calories there are on th- 600! Oh my god!:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: *Runs for mirrror*

Houdini Splicer: Now you are mine! MUHAHAHA. Wait, is it to much? *Strange laughter* no, *manical laughter* thats it! *more manical laughter* Ok, where were we.

jokerthesplicer

06-16-2008, 04:43 AM

Atlas:would you kindly suck my....
Ryan: a slave chooses. a man obeys.

smartalec5595

06-16-2008, 08:12 AM

(after killing a big daddy and setting it on fire)
LS: please get up mr. bubbles! please!
*you pick him up with teleknesis*
LS:good you got up now get un-burnt!!

Dr J. Steinman

06-16-2008, 08:16 AM

Andrew Ryan: It is undeniable; the cat is fat. Anyone who tells you different, either has their hand in your pocket...or a pistol to your neck.

Medium-Sized Daddy

06-16-2008, 09:50 PM

Ryan: Would you kindly... do my taxes? (Of course, no TurboTax in 1960...)
Steinman: We can rebuild him. We have the technology. *turns patients into Iron Man*

esipode

06-16-2008, 10:27 PM

Splicer:Hey!I just heard about this great new plasmid!
Splicer 2:What is it called?
Splicer:Steroids!

Telekinetic Puppeteer

06-17-2008, 05:26 PM

These just make my night twice over everytime I read them. XDDD;; Surprisingly, despite how folk tell me I'm funny, I can't come up with none. :( I have a few in mind but I don't want to leave a bas taste in BioShock fans' mouths.

BlacquePhalcon

06-17-2008, 07:08 PM

Splicer: Ooh a kitty! I think Im going to name him Bob. Bob, you and I are going to have so much fun together! We are gonna go to the movies and the park and Eve's Apple and arcadia
Other Splicer: Erm Frank... I think he's dead...
First Splicer: WHAT NOT AGAIN!

Dr J. Steinman

06-17-2008, 08:20 PM

Today, I had lunch with the Goddess; 'Dinner, dear Steinman. It's time we did something about...dinner.'

esipode

06-18-2008, 08:54 AM

Steinman:It's Ugly!Ugly!Uuuuugllyyyy!*Points at Brocolli*

(1300th post!yay!)

BlacquePhalcon

06-18-2008, 12:08 PM

Steinman: Today, I had lunch with the Goddess; 'Symmetry, dear Steinman', She said, 'It's time we did something about...symmetry.' She is like a Shimmering Scalpal cutting me to thounsands of bueatiful pieces... But when I got the bill I grabbed my scapal and really cut my self into pieces... And kids that is why im so ugly!

Dr J. Steinman

06-18-2008, 01:41 PM

Steinman: '"Steinman", she said. "Steinman! I'm here to free you from the tyranny of common sense..."'

Ryan: "It's the tool with which all that wickedness is built; symmetry."

Cohen: "Where she's not derivative, she's boring. Where she's not boring, she's obvious. Where she's not obvious...she's symmetrical!"

Spliced Big Daddy

06-21-2008, 02:05 AM

[B]Atlas: Would you kindly take your clothes off?

Cohen's Puppet

06-21-2008, 07:43 AM

Andrew Ryan: Respect mah authori-tah! (Eric Cartman reference)
-----
Atlas: Jack, would you kindly take your clothes off for a sec...

Edited To Add: I didn't look at the poster above when I posted this message.
-----
Shutting down a security robot - $20
40 Machine Gun Rounds - $60
Sander Cohen reciting "The Wild Bunny" - Priceless.
-----
How dare anyone out there make fun of Cohen after all he's been through?

All you people care about is making money off him. His masterpiece is full of corpses for a reason, because all you people did is KILL HIS SANITY! He's a human!

You're lucky he even created a masterpiece for you people. LEAVE COHEN ALONE! He hasn't performed on stage in years. Leave him alone!

Leave Sander Cohen alone right now. I mean it. Anyone who has a problem with him, you deal with me because he's not well right now.

BlacquePhalcon

06-21-2008, 09:16 AM

Cohen: I want to take the eyes off, But i can't. I take them off but they grow back. ITS MY CURSE. MY F****N CURSE, NOW I CAN'T MAKE MY POTATOE SALAD! :(

Telekinetic Puppeteer

06-21-2008, 10:05 AM

How dare anyone out there make fun of Cohen after all he's been through?

All you people care about is making money off him. His masterpiece is full of corpses for a reason, because all you people did is KILL HIS SANITY! He's a human!

You're lucky he even created a masterpiece for you people. LEAVE COHEN ALONE! He hasn't performed on stage in years. Leave him alone!

Leave Sander Cohen alone right now. I mean it. Anyone who has a problem with him, you deal with me because he's not well right now.

EPIC.

Twenty-four pages of this and people are just now making pervy "Would you kindly" jokes? :p Congratulations ya schmucks, you just lost me $20 bucks. :mad:

BlacquePhalcon

06-21-2008, 06:20 PM

lol betting they would come sooner?

Telekinetic Puppeteer

06-21-2008, 08:04 PM

Damned straight! >:[ As a matter of fact, it was one of the top things I'd expect outta the BioShock fandom. But hell, I got my money on plenty other things, so a measly $20 won't affect my gambling finances. :p

Amandatini

06-21-2008, 10:23 PM

EPIC.

Awww. Ya took my four letters.

Cohen's Puppet

06-22-2008, 05:41 AM

Larry King: Mr. Cohen, why do you want to take your ears off so badly?

TAKE 1
Sander Cohen: I can't seem to get the earwax out. This is much easier.

TAKE 2
Sander Cohen: I hear voices at night. Moaning voices--they're not mine, I swear.

TAKE 3
Sander Cohen: I refuse to hear Ryan's rejection.

TAKE 4
Sander Cohen: Did you see the new hearing aids? They look awesome.

TAKE 5
Sander Cohen: I want to surgically replace them with bunny ears.

TAKE 6
Sander Cohen: So that I won't be forced to conform to society by wearing earrings.

TAKE 7
Sander Cohen: I only choose to hear the things I want to. Even if they come from my head.

Larry King: You know what? Screw this. I'm going home.

Cohen's Puppet

06-22-2008, 05:53 AM

Larry King: Why is Frank Fontaine so intent in ruining your life?

Andrew Ryan: To tell you the truth, back when we were in high school Fontaine once confessed to me his affections. Of course I rejected his feelings. He became mad at me and swore that he would "follow me to the ends of the earth to make me pay".

Andrew Ryan: I buggered his mom. Three times.

Andrew Ryan: I stole his lunch money. But oh God, that was in kindergarten!

Andrew Ryan: I fed his pet cat off to the sharks.

Andrew Ryan: I posted drunk pictures of him on a fake MySpace profile.

Telekinetic Puppeteer

06-22-2008, 11:37 AM

More epicness from Cohen's Puppet! XDDDD;; I like the one about Andrew Ryan, plus I can imagine it easier on Jay Leno. XB;;

BioShock Freak

06-24-2008, 06:16 PM

Thuggish female Splicer: BUT YOU SAID YOU'D TAKE CARE OF ME! YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!

Thuggish male Splicer: Yes, I DID say I loved you, but I met someone better. She can do things you can't!

Thuggish female Splicer: LIKE WHAT?!

Thuggish male Splicer: She can crawl on the ceilings and throw hooks at the same time! Try doing that!

~Mari.

Amandatini

06-24-2008, 06:28 PM

Cohen: I want to take the eyes off, But i can't. I take them off but they grow back. ITS MY CURSE. MY F****N CURSE, NOW I CAN'T MAKE MY POTATOE SALAD! :(

lol. BRILLIANT :D

BlacquePhalcon

06-24-2008, 06:44 PM

Lol thanks :), I thought of it while i was peeling potatoes :D

Amandatini

06-24-2008, 07:48 PM

Isn't that when we all have our best moments? lol

BioShock Freak

06-24-2008, 08:00 PM

Cohen: I want to take the eyes off, But i can't. I take them off but they grow back. ITS MY CURSE. MY F****N CURSE, NOW I CAN'T MAKE MY POTATOE SALAD! :(

OMG! I LOOOOOOOOVE this one! :D
LOL. I didn't notice it til now.
~Mari.

BlacquePhalcon

06-24-2008, 09:01 PM

lol thanks, Its the most complimented one :) So i guess that it makes it one of my best moments :cool:

BioShock Freak

06-25-2008, 12:56 AM

Yeah. Lucky you. ;)
I posted the only one I've ever posted and got skipped. Lol.
~Mari.

BlacquePhalcon

06-25-2008, 06:10 AM

lol, Im sorry :(

Thuggish female Splicer: BUT YOU SAID YOU'D TAKE CARE OF ME! YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!

Thuggish male Splicer: Yes, I DID say I loved you, but I met someone better. She can do things you can't!

Thuggish female Splicer: LIKE WHAT?!

Thuggish male Splicer: She can crawl on the ceilings and throw hooks at the same time! Try doing that!

~Mari.

It's like a soap opera, and those are hilarious :)

Big Lou

06-26-2008, 06:07 PM

Jack: "They told me, 'Son, you're special. You were born to do great things.' You know what? They were r-OH MY GOD!!!! WE'RE GONNA CRASH!!!!!!!"

Andrew Ryan: "Atlas! You can kill me, but you will never have my Benny Goodman collection!"

Andrew Ryan: "I am Andrew Ryan, and I'm here to ask you a question... Would you like to make 100, 1,000, even $1,500 in your spare time? It's so easy you can do it from the comfort of your own living room!"

Atlas: "Would'ya kindly go and fetch me a roll of toilet paper? And would'ya kindly HURRY?!?!"

Andrew Ryan: A man chooses, a wife overrules, a slave obeys."