My Bioshock Story

[O'Malley de Bough]

My fellow readers I give you...

Imago

Down in Neptune's Bounty, Richard McCoy stood looking out of a window. He was staring at the various buildings that were found in the underwater city if Rapture. Richard turned around and faced his apartment. A small one bedroom and bathroom combination, along with an incredibly small kitchen. Nothing special at all, and all located in the ghettos of Rapture.

The night was surprisingly quiet. It was New Year's Eve, 1956 and Richard expected parties to be happening in every apartment around him, but they weren't. He walked over to the calender on his wall, and scrolled down the days with his eyes until he found what he wanted. December 31, 1956. In only a matter of minutes, this calendar would be useless.
“No need for this anymore I guess” Richard said to himself. He pulled the calendar off the wall and threw it in the trash. Richard walked to a chair that was perched next to a table. He sat down and scanned the floor of his apartment. Richard liked to keeps things tidy. Nothing on the floor unless it was necessary. He turned his head to look at the kitchen. Spotless. Just like Richard wanted. The few dishes he had were washed and the counter tops were cleared of any debris, but it didn't make up for the poor quality of the counter tops themselves.

Richard was staring out of the window again. A school of fish swam by and it made Richard slightly jealous. Fish were always together, never alone and is what Richard was. Alone. He was running this through his mind when he heard a knock on the door.
“Who is it?” Richard called out.
“It's me Rich” he heard a muffled voice reply. Richard stood up from his chair and walked over the door. He unlatched the rusty security bolt and opened the door. Standing there was Eric Blakesly, Richard's one and only friend. Richard had met Eric when he first started working at Fontaine Fisheries. Eric had been a lifesaver on several occasions, and gave advice to Richard about living in the drudges of Rapture.
“Happy New Year Rich!” He said holding a bottle up. The bottle was unlabeled, so Richard figured it was one of the contraband items that were smuggled into Rapture. Surface objects were strictly forbidden in Rapture.
“Thanks. Come on in” Richard said. Eric walked in and then made his way to the table and set the bottle down.
“I guessed you wouldn't be going anywhere tonight. So I picked up this bottle of moonshine from this guy I know. You ever had moonshine before?” Eric said turning to Richard.
“No I don't think I ever have” Richard said. He walked to the kitchen and pulled two cups out of a door less cabinet, and then walked to the table. Richard sat down in his previous chair. Eric sat in the other opposite of Richard.
“Oh then this is going to be a kick in the stones for you bud! Moonshine is like liquid fire, burns your tongue and throat.” Eric said with a grin. He unscrewed the bottle's cap and poured the clear substance into the two cups. He slid one over to Richard.
“Get ready my friend!” Eric said. Richard picked his cup up and smelled the contents. Alcohol filled Richard's nostril and burned his eyes slightly. Richard put the cup to his lips and took a mouthful of moonshine. The moonshine burned Richard's tongue with a fury. He quickly swallowed, and now his throat burned equally. He coughed several times, and was concluded with a gag. Richard's eyes watered. Eric let out a small laugh.
“I remember my first drink of moonshine. Made me throw up, but damn it was fine.” He said. He chugged his own glass and slammed the glass onto the table. Eric closed his eyes tightly for a moment before opening them.
“Still bites even after a few years” He said. “So what did you think of it, Rich?” he asked.
“It's horrible. Hell I didn't think anything like this existed. You could use this for torture” Richard said, still coughing.
“That's moonshine for you” He said letting out another laugh. “So Rich, you been hearin' about these rumors about Fontaine runnin' the black market here?” Eric asked him.
“I've overheard a couple from some guys in the fishery, but if you know enough about Fontaine then you know those rumors are true” Richard said. Everyone in Neptune's Bounty knew Frank Fontaine was a crook. A clever crook at that. He was the owner of Fontaine Fisheries and was believed to be the ring leader of a smuggling group who brought in surface would items. Items such as the moonshine Eric had brought.
“Well yeah I know that. How do you think I got my hands on this moonshine here? It's just I've been hearin' people have been becomin' rats and tryin' to sell off Fontaine.” Eric said.
“Is that so?” Richard replied.
“Yeah. Say...you aren't a rat, are ya?” Eric asked suspiciously. Richard looked at him with a hurt expression on his face.
“What? Are you kidding me? I'm smart enough to know not to rat out on anybody. I know what happens to those who sell out. Besides I don't talk to enough people to know anything” Richard said.
“Smart kid, that's what I like to hear” Eric said. The two of them sat in silence for a minute. Richard was once again looking out of the window. After a while, Eric sat up in his chair and began to recap the moonshine bottle.
“Alright Rich, I gotta get goin'. Got a thing I gotta head to on the other side of the Bounty.” Eric said. He stood up and Richard did the same. They walked to the door, and Eric opened it and began to walk out. He turned around and looked at Richard.
“I'll see ya later Rich. You should come down to the bar tomorrow for a drink after your shift. You need to get out a bit more, ya know?” Eric said. Richard thought for a moment. He hated going out into public when didn't need to. On the other hand he hated to disappoint people.
“Uh yeah I'll see what I'm doing tomorrow.” Richard said. There was no use it saying that. He had no potential plans for tomorrow.
“Great, hope to see you there. Happy New Year Rich” Eric said.
“Happy New Year” Richard said. Eric turned back around and walked down the decrepit hallway of the building. Richard closed the door and re latched the security bolt. He walked over to the table and picked up the two glasses. They stank of moonshine and it made Richard gag for a moment. He rinsed them in the sink and put them back into the cabinet.
Richard walked over to his meager bed and sat down. He turned his head and looked at a clock sitting on a small table next his bed. 11:59. Then with a few passed seconds: 12:00.
“Happy new year” Richard said. Who was he talking to? He was the only one in his apartment. All alone. Alone. Just him. It made Richard think. Another year had come and gone where he was alone. Just him. And it was all he knew.


The following day Richard woke with a startle. A loud bang had caused him to be pulled out of sleep. Richard propped himself up and looked around his apartment. Nothing, He was alone. He flopped back down on his bed and laid there for a few minutes.

Richard got out of his bed and walked to the kitchen. He opened a cabinet and searched around for something to eat. There was not a wide variety of food in Richard's place. He could afford mostly the cheap stuff, which narrowed his diet to canned fruit, sardines, and bread. Richard typically saved sardines as a last resort for food. He had quite a few tins stacked away, but the gross taste made Richard want to cut his tongue out. Instead he would eat a can of fruit and a slice or two of bread for his breakfast.

Richard collected a can of fruit and a bread slice, along with a knife he found in one of the drawers, and walked to the table. He sat down and began to cut away at the can's top. Once he had the top off, he used the knife to fish out pieces of fruit. He passed by the time by staring out the window, something he did commonly. Richard had to admit that even though his apartment was the worst thing he had ever lived in, he enjoyed the view greatly. Richard was enjoying the morning until he looked at his clock. 8:37. He was late for work.

s**t Richard though to himself. He wolfed down the slice of bread and threw on his standard fishing waders. He tossed the empty fruit can into the sink and headed for the door. Richard stepped out into the hallway, and into a massive puddle. The hallway had flooded, but he didn't have time to think about it. He hurried down the hallway and down the stairs.
When Richard got to the main hall he could he shouting coming up from several floors above. He looked up and could see a pipe bulging out of the ceiling, spilling water into the hallway. Richard wasn't surprised at all. In a building like this things were always falling apart.
That's where the water came from Richard thought. He then remembered he was late and broke into a fast walk.

Richard was only a few minutes late to Fontaine Fisheries, but that didn't matter. The wharf master would be on his case any moment now. Richard punched in for work and made his way to his work station. He walked into a warehouse where the fish processing took place. Eric had already left Richard his quota for the day. Several larges boxes were stacked next to Richard's working table. Eric worked in Fontaine Fisheries too. He delivered the fish to the processing warehouse, and had a couple strings pulled to make sure Richard did alright at his job .

Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

[O'Malley de Bough]

Richard pulled a crowbar from under his work table and pried the lid off the top box. Nearly 300 fish were stacked and lined into the box. Richard had to finish at least three boxes to be able to receive payment, but he could knock down five or six boxes in one shift. He took the first fish out of the box, slapped it on the table, and began to gut it.

A couple of hours had passed before Richard had finished his first box. Nearly fifty pounds of fish innards were thrown into a cart next to Richard's station and the warehouse reeked of them. A bell rang out and Richard began his lunch break. It was more of a break because Richard didn't eat lunch. However, he would eat lunch rarely, and only when he felt like he needed it. Instead Richard spent his time staring out of a window.

Richard had been looking the window for nearly ten minutes now. Alone. All by himself while others were socializing. It was then Richard realized something terrible: He hated his life. He truly hated it. It had taken years for it to finally hit him. He was alone. He hated that. He gutted fish for a living. He hated that. He lived in the possibly worst area of Rapture. He hated that the most. Suddenly Richard felt sick to his stomach. He wanted to lie down and just sleep forever. He didn't care for anything now. He felt as if he was nothing.

Richard heard a bell ring, signaling the end of his break. Richard worked the rest of his shift very slowly and by the end he had only finished just under the fourth crate.

Oh well Richard thought. He left the processing warehouse and punched out of his shift, then returned home. The pipe was from earlier in the day was still gushing water, but at a much lower rate now. A moderately deep puddle had formed in the building's lobby. Richard climbed a set of stairs to reach his floor, that now had a deeper puddle.

When Richard opened the door to his apartment, he was surprised to see that it had no water leaked into it. No water drops coming from the ceiling either. A door stopper under the front door blocked water from getting in, but all this couldn't make Richard feel any better. He took off his fishing waders and laid on his bed. Richard stared at the ceiling for what seemed an hour. Then he remembered about going to the bar with Eric.
Screw it Richard though. Screw it all. Questions through Richard's head.
Why do I have to be alone? Why do I have to work the job I have? Why? Why? Why?
His thoughts were racing through his head and with every passing minute he felt worse and worse. Richard's racing mind was broken by a knock on the door. Richard snapped out of his thoughts and looked around the apartment. Another knock came.
“Hey Rich ya home? Rich?” came Eric's muffled voice. Richard got up and walked to the door, unlatching the security bolt. He opened the door but only slightly.
“Hey Rich! I missed you at the bar today. Ya doing alright?” He questioned. Richard was silent for a moment.
“Yeah yeah I'm doing alright” He lied. “Sorry I'm feeling a little under the weather”
“Oh yeah? Sorry to hear that bud. I guess that fish gets to your head after a while, eh?” He joked. “ I'll leave ya be then. Get better now, ya hear?” Eric said with concern.
“Yeah thanks” Richard said. He closed the door and heard Eric's footsteps fade away as he left down the hallway. '

Eric was a good person. He looked out for his friends and made sure they did well. Richard felt bad for ditching Eric. Eric was his only friend. It would help if Richard showed some appreciation. For the past several years Eric had been the only person wish Richard a Merry Christmas. Same went for New Years. Eric even went the extra mile and got Richard a gift one Christmas. It was the clock that sat on the small table next to the bed. Then on the most recent Christmas, Eric's wife had knitted him a nice blanket, which we he used now to sleep under. Richard started to feel like he didn't deserve to have Eric as a friend. But from what he could see, Eric had faith in everyone and could see into them. Maybe that was why he still came to see Richard.
It doesn't matter Richard thought. Why do I matter to anyone? I have no one...and no one wants me. I am alone.



For nearly a month Richard was in a deep depression. He constantly questioned himself, often thinking of the same questions hundreds of times. It took almost a week for Eric to see Richard's dark state. He would come by a few times a week, trying to make sure Richard wasn't dead.

At Fontaine Fisheries, Richard's work loads had steadily decreased, Eric made sure of that. Each day there was less of an output of gutted fish from him. During Richard's break, Eric searched the fishery for Richard. He was staring out of window as usual.

“Hey Rich. Hows it going?” Eric asked as he walked up to him. Richard didn't say anything for a while. He continued to stare out of the window.
“Not too bad” Richard said, when in truth everything was.
“That's good.” Eric said. “So Rich, I'm headin' to the bar tonight. Maybe I'll see ya there?”
“Maybe. Got some stuff to do though, I'll see what I'm doing” Richard lied.
“Good to hear. Listen I gotta get back to me shift. Take care now” Eric said, then he walked away. Richard was alone again. Just like he always was. Richard heard a bell ring, his break was over.
Richard's shift ended, and he cleaned up his workstation.
Maybe...maybe it would help to get out Richard thought to himself. It had been months since he had gone anywhere. He decided he would go. After he finished cleaning up, he headed for Fighting McDonagh's Tavern. After a few minutes Richard had reached the tavern, reluctant to go in from what he could remember of the bar. He walked in and remembered why he hated the place. Cigarette smoke filled the air and the place was filled with thugs. Only the window view of the city appealed to him. A hostile environment didn't bode too well with Richard. Suddenly Richard heard his name being called.
“Hey Rich! Over here!” Eric's voice called out. Richard turned his head and saw Eric sitting at the bar. Richard sauntered to the bar and took a seat next to Eric.
“I'm glad you came tonight bud! It's been awhile, yeah. Here, I'll buy ya a drink?” Eric said. “Bartender, two Old Tom Whiskeys would ya”. Richard didn't reply, and both of them sat in silence until their drinks came. The bartender set down two whiskey filled glasses. Eric picked his up.
“Cheers to another long week of fish!” he said. He chugged his entire glass. "Bartender, another please!". Richard wrapped his hand around his glass, and stared into the golden liquid. Eric took notice.
“Say Rich, I've noticed ya been a bit down in the dumps lately. Frankly it concerns me. Ya spend a lot of time holed up there in your apartment. What's wrong bud?” Eric said. Richard turned his head slightly to Eric.
“I've been down here for a while now, and I hate it.” Richard sighed. “I've been cheated out a life, and been given this one. I just...feel like my life doesn't mean anything. Sometimes I feel..like ending it all” Richard said. Eric nearly choked on a mouthful of whiskey.
“Whoa whoa! That's not healthy thinkin' there bud” Eric said with major concern.
“I know but think about it. I've been gutting fish for nearly four years. I'm lonely. I have no family and only one friend. And that's you. I have no one to carry on my name. No one would care if I just...vanished" Richard gloomily said.
"Oh come now! You're my bar buddy! What would I do without you?" Eric joked nudging Richard. Richard didn't think it was funny.
"Yeah didn't write that one for a week...Hey listen. I heard about this doctor, a shrink. People call her Sofia Lamb. She works wonders from what people say. Maybe she can help you." Eric said. Richard looked at him.
“A psychiatrist, yeah?” Richard asked.
“Yeah yeah. People go to see her when they're all bummed, and when they come back they feel like a million bucks” Eric said. Richard considered what he said.
“Maybe I should go see this Sofia Lamb" Richard said.
"Yeah that's the spirit" Eric said. He glanced at his watch and shock covered his face.
“Crap!" Eric called out. He chugged the last of his whiskey and stood up.
"Sorry but I gotta go. I took someone's shift for a little extra cash and it starts soon. See you later" Eric said as he threw on his jacket. “You should seriously think about seeing this Lamb women. Do it for me, as friend” he said. He left Richard sitting alone and thinking.
"Sofia Lamb, psychiatrist...hmm..." Richard muttered to himself. "Maybe...maybe she can help me". Richard took a sip from his glass and set it back down. Richard didn't like the taste of whiskey, but tonight it was something he wanted. He finished the glass and went home. He thought about what Eric had said to him.
Psychiatrist...I do need help Richard thought.

Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

[O'Malley de Bough]

A week had passed since Eric had told Richard about Sofia Lamb. Richard's interest had been caught, and he wanted to learn more about Lamb. He had taken a day off to find out where Lamb's office was located. Richard assumed that Lamb would be situated in Medical Pavilion. As luck had it, she was and Richard scheduled an appointment for the following Monday.
Richard's appointment was coming up. His main concern was being able to pay Lamb for her help. He had overheard from others in the processing warehouse that doctors weren't cheap, and if you didn't pay them then you had a problem. For two days Richard worked a double shift and pooled together the money he had. Then on the day of his appointment, he wrapped his money into a roll and stuffed it into his pocket.
Richard left his apartment and walked down the still still flooded hallway. The entire complex began to stink of mold. In the lobby, Richard looked up and could see the pipe from a week before, still draining water.
Someone has to fix that eventually Richard though, but who was he kidding? The rich folks in Olympus Heights and Fort Frolic didn't care about what happened to those in the Bounty.
Richard walked to the bathysphere station and walked into the available bathysphere. He moved the lever on the navigation to Medical Pavilion. The massive window that was the door closed and sealed Richard in. He watch through as the bathysphere sunk into the ocean and then traveled over Rapture.
The bathysphere reached the Medical Pavilion station, and rose out of the water and docked. The door swung open and Richard stepped out, setting off for Lamb's office.
His heart began to race. Richard had never been to a psychiatrist, or any doctor for that matter. He ran a series of scenarios through his head: What if he didn't have enough money to pay Lamb? What if he was deemed insane, and was taken away? What if-. His thoughts were cut off as he realized he had reached Lamb's office.
Richard stood for a moment to collect himself. He approached the mahogany door and it automatically opened, as did most doors in Rapture.
Richard felt slightly awkward walking into the waiting room. He was the only person present, save for the receptionist. Richard approached her and waited for her to look up.
"Can I help you Sir?" she asked in a shrill voice. Her voice gave Richard chills.
"Uh yes. I uh have an uh appointment today" Richard replied nervously. She looked under the desk for a moment and then pulled clipboard from under the desk, and looked back at Richard
"Name please" She said.
"Richard McCoy". She scrolled down the list on the clipboard until she saw Richard's name.
"Ah yes, Richard at 5:30" She said. "Just wait a moment, Dr. Lamb will be with you in a bit". She got up from her chair and walked into a hallway that led into the various parts of Lamb's office. Richard looked around the office. White walls, dim lighting, and a sole picture on the wall of a blur butterfly. It almost frightened him to be here. Richard had been examining the room for nearly a minute when the receptionist came back.
"Dr. Lamb is ready to see you now. Her office is the third door on the right" she pointed into the hallway. Richard started down the hallways, counting the doors he saw on the right. One. Two. Three. Richard stood in front of the door, staring. His heat was beating madly. He took a deep breath in, and walked through the door.
The room Richard walked into was huge. One side of the room was one huge window that looked out onto the city. The view was breathtaking. In the middle of the room was a couch, a sofa, and a table with a lamp on it. A woman was sitting in the chair. She stood up and walked towards Richard. She was a tall lady with blond hair, blue eyes, along with glasses and a skinny face.
"Hello there, I am Doctor Sofia Lamb, psychiatrist" She said as she extended her hand to Richard. Richard hesitated for a second. She dressed nice, compared to Richard's poor attire. He extended his hand and met with hers.
"I'm uhh Richard McCoy, fish gutter" He said. She walked over to the sofa and then looked at Richard.
"Would you like to take a seat Mr. McCoy?" She asked.
"Uhh sure" Richard replied. He walked to the sofa and sat down. It felt soft under him and he almost felt ashamed to sit on it. Dr. Lamb sat back down in her chair.
"So, Mr. McCoy. Why have you come to see me?"
"Well I...I uhh" Richard stuttered. He pause and looked at the ground
"You don't need to be nervous when talking to me, Mr. McCoy. Consider me to be your friend. You can tell me anything that is bothering you. Your secrets are confidential. Anything you say will not leave this room" She told him. Richard seemed lost in what she saying, but some how figured it out.
"Do you mind if I lay down on this?" Richard said pointing at the sofa he was sitting on.
"You may. That is why it is there" Dr. Lamb said. Richard laid down and propped his arms behind his head. He stared at the ceiling for a while until Dr. Lamb broke the silence.
"Why don't we begin with knowing something about you. For example, who is your father? Is he a good person?" She said.
"I...I don't have a father" Richard said.
"Ah I see. How about your mother?" Lamb asked. Richard didn't reply for some time.
"I don't have a mother either" Richard said with a bit of hurt in his voice.
"No mother or father. Who do you live with then?" Dr. Lamb questioned.
"I live by myself" he said. He felt cold saying that.
"And how old are you, Richard?" Dr. Lamb asked.
"I am...I am 18" Richard said.
"You are 18 with no mother or father and you live by yourself? Tell me, what happened to your mother and father?" Dr. Lamb asked him. Again Richard was silent for a while before answering.
"They...they were...they were murdered." Richard struggled to say.
"Oh I am so sorry Richard. How long ago did that happen?" Lamb asked.
"I...I think...almost four years ago." Richard said. He could feel himself breaking apart inside. He felt weak, but he also felt strong.
"I see. Can you tell me how it happened, Richard?" Dr. Lamb asked him. Richard felt pain as he collected the memories that had ruined him.
“They were...shot by a burglar. It was in the middle of the night and someone broke into our home. My father tried to stop him but he was shot. My mother tried to do the same and was shot too. I heard everything. The gun shots. The screams” Richard's heart was pumping as he ran the memories through his head.
“That is quite tragic. Do tell me, do you ever feel lonely Richard?” Dr. Lamb asked.
"I..I do. I feel very lonely." Richard was trying hard to hold back the tears. It felt like he was holding a giant rock from falling on him.
"I can see why. Barely an adult with no mother...father...living by yourself. No family whatsoever. Alone in the world." Dr. Lamb said. Richard felt a tear roll down his cheek. The last time he could remember crying was when his parents were murdered. The tear felt warm, and it made Richard wonder for a moment.
"Tell me more, Richard" Lamb said. Richard didn't want to but he did anyways.
"I feel...alone. I feel like nobody wants me or cares for me. People see me as another low life down there in the Bounty. Nobody wants anything to do with me. All I want is someone to care for me. I want...I want a family again" Richard said. He suddenly felt different. He felt like he had a great weight lifted off his shoulders. He had admitted something he wanted but could never tell anyone. Another tear fell down his face.
"What if I told you, Richard, that I could give you a family. A family where everyone would care about you and what you are and what you do." Dr. Lamb said. Richard's eyes widened. He sat up and stared at Lamb. Dr. Lamb reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out something. Something blue in color.
"If you want to be part of this family, then I want you to wear this on your shirt everyday for the next week." she said. Dr. Lamb held out her hand. Richard held his hand out too, and Lamb dropped something into it. Richard examined it for a minute. It was a butterfly. A blue butterfly. The same one he saw in the waiting room.
"I just have to wear this?" Richard asked. He was confused. How could wearing a butterfly on his shirt give him what he wanted.
"Yes. It is simple. Just wear it, and I will tell you what it means next week" She said. "With that said, I think our session here is done" Dr. Lamb said to him. Richard wiped the tears from his face and stood up from the sofa.

Continued on Page 5

Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

[GreenMind]

uh oh. you can infer by Richard thinking about going to see Lamb that his story wont end up well

[O'Malley de Bough]

uh oh. you can infer by Richard thinking about going to see Lamb that his story wont end up well

Haha would you like to read more? I've already thought up of more to right, and I've already figured out Richard's end.

[Doctor Tivilon]

That was really good. You should definitely post more.:)

[O'Malley de Bough]

That was really good. You should definitely post more.:)

Definitely. Working on more material now.

[O'Malley de Bough]

Alright I finished the second part :D

[Doctor Tivilon]

I demand more!

[O'Malley de Bough]

I demand more!

Do you really?

[Doctor Tivilon]

Do you really?

Yes. I am intrigued.

[O'Malley de Bough]

Yes. I am intrigued.

Well then I will continue to write. I figure there is still quite a bit left in my noggin write down.

[that_splicer_guy]

WHY does everyone get cool writing assighnments, my stupid teachers pretty much TELL me what to write, if i give a creative idea, they call it radical, if istick to the topic, they call it vague.............im a senior in HIGH SCHOOL for RYANS SAKE!!!!!! makes me wish i could go to rapture.....

[O'Malley de Bough]

WHY does everyone get cool writing assighnments, my stupid teachers pretty much TELL me what to write, if i give a creative idea, they call it radical, if istick to the topic, they call it vague.............im a senior in HIGH SCHOOL for RYANS SAKE!!!!!! makes me wish i could go to rapture.....

Lol did you like what I wrote?

[Phil Isadore]

More more more! :D

[that_splicer_guy]

I LOVED IT, so much original expression.....its great....i should make a compilation of all the great bioshock writing and poetry i have encountered....
ive seen ALOT!!!

[O'Malley de Bough]

I'm still working on the second part. I'll give an update when I have finished.

[that_splicer_guy]

I'm still working on the second part. I'll give an update when I have finished.
sweetness........ima go play bioshock 1 now...

[PureNukage]

Hahahahahahaha

[Doctor Tivilon]

Hahahahahahaha

Uh, I don't think the story is supposed to be funny...

[PureNukage]

Uh, I don't think the story is supposed to be funny...

Nah I wasn't laughing at that XD

[O'Malley de Bough]

Uh, I don't think the story is supposed to be funny...

Yeah it isn't.

Oh yeah, updated second part. Added a space to show new content.

[Doctor Tivilon]

Yeah it isn't.

Oh yeah, updated second part. Added a space to show new content.

Lookin' good! Keep it coming!

[O'Malley de Bough]

Lookin' good! Keep it coming!

I'll try to. Still thinking of some more details and filler for the next part. I think I'll put the next part in the last reserved spot.

EDIT:
I stopped writing at 1 am because...well I was tired lol. I gave some more material for people to much for a bit, and if you haven't read the addition to section 2, then read it!

[GreenMind]

i really like how you managed to capture Lamb's character. reading her dialogue feels like it's actually her speaking. very good job!

[O'Malley de Bough]

i really like how you managed to capture Lamb's character. reading her dialogue feels like it's actually her speaking. very good job!

Thanks, that is was I am aiming for.

Oh yeah, added more to third part if anyone wants to read it!

[O'Malley de Bough]

I've been writing so much outside of this thread here. Oh my, this is going so well!

[Mechanical]

Great story there! Looking forward to reading more :)

[thor9356]

This is really good stuff.

[O'Malley de Bough]

Great story there! Looking forward to reading more :)

That is good to hear. I look forward to writing more :)

[O'Malley de Bough]

Okay well I decided today that I am going to rewrite the entire story. I'm starting from a different beginning and I'm going to give more back round to Richard. I plan to keep the Lamb parts in and I also plan to make them more in depth and longer.

[PureNukage]

Okay well I decided today that I am going to rewrite the entire story. I'm starting from a different beginning and I'm going to give more back round to Richard. I plan to keep the Lamb parts in and I also plan to make them more in depth and longer.

Noooooooo!!!!

[O'Malley de Bough]

Noooooooo!!!!

Sorry but I felt like I didn't give much about Richard. I'm trying to write as fast as I can and so far it's going well.

[Doctor Tivilon]

Sorry but I felt like I didn't give much about Richard. I'm trying to write as fast as I can and so far it's going well.

Well, don't rush it.

[O'Malley de Bough]

Well, don't rush it.

Yes, yes I won't. But the ideas are coming at me left and right and it's almost hard to keep up with them.

[that_splicer_guy]

no pun, but record yourself speaking your ideas, TRUST ME! it works....

[O'Malley de Bough]

no pun, but record yourself speaking your ideas, TRUST ME! it works....

I thought about it, but I've been sort of scribbling my ideas down. A lot of them are just stored in my noggin waiting to be used.

[that_splicer_guy]

you shouldnt CRAM it all into one stroy, make diffrent storys... like one chapter for this guy, and another for this guy

[O'Malley de Bough]

you shouldnt CRAM it all into one stroy, make diffrent storys... like one chapter for this guy, and another for this guy

Other characters you say? I planned for this to be all about McCoy and his various phases of life. But I'm not entirely sure now.

[that_splicer_guy]

"different people , with different backgrounds,from different places, all came to rapture with one thing in mind, to escape the reality they could not stand.... but rather than come to find the rapture they expected, all they found was......eachother...." great intro huh

[O'Malley de Bough]

"different people , with different backgrounds,from different places, all came to rapture with one thing in mind, to escape the reality they could not stand.... but rather than come to find the rapture they expected, all they found was......eachother...." great intro huh

Sounds like one of those hokey narrations for lame movies :p :p

[that_splicer_guy]

ehhh, my ideas are good, i just suck at expressing them.....
for example another good idea, is several stories of people who spliced, and as they die and little sisters harvest their adam a story begins to unfold, of some splicers seeking something the first splicer was after, each thinking it is something different, and each dying because of it..... i better put this down

[O'Malley de Bough]

ehhh, my ideas are good, i just suck at expressing them.....
for example another good idea, is several stories of people who spliced, and as they die and little sisters harvest their adam a story begins to unfold, of some splicers seeking something the first splicer was after, each thinking it is something different, and each dying because of it..... i better put this down

I see. So these splicers were after something this one splicer was looking for? Not too bad. Now just expand it into an epic novel :p

[that_splicer_guy]

just 250 pages to go.......lmao

[O'Malley de Bough]

You could always write a story about Eleanor's childhood crush. You could write it from Amir's perspective.

Cause I know you would :p :p :p

[that_splicer_guy]

I AM eleanors childhood crush, but seriosly, thats not a bad idea, im barley giving the game its second runthrough, but what diary or diarys explain this?

[O'Malley de Bough]

I AM eleanors childhood crush, but seriosly, thats not a bad idea, im barley giving the game its second runthrough, but what diary or diarys explain this?

They don't provide a lot of info but:
http://bioshock.wikia.com/wiki/Barbarism
http://bioshock.wikia.com/wiki/Misbehaving
http://bioshock.wikia.com/wiki/Amir

Also, for everyone, I believe I have finished the new and improved story for part one. I will post it tomorrow and it will replace the OP.

[O'Malley de Bough]

Okay, well revamped first part is up, and the second part is currently under revision now.

[O'Malley de Bough]

Continued from page 1

"I umm...I want to thank you. You know, for listening to me. I...I can't tell people anything. They...they don't understand. People in the Bounty are cold. I brought money to pay for all this" Richard said.
"Thank you I understand, but there is no need for money now."Lamb said. "I'll see you next week, Richard. Same time" Dr. Lamb said. Richard walked out into the hallway and back into the waiting room. The receptionist was still at her desk, typing away on her type writer. As Richard walked out of Dr. Lamb's office, he could hear her say something to the receptionist over an intercom.
Something had caught Richard's eye as he left Lamb's office. An advertisement on a wall. Richard walked up to it and read.
“Evolution in a bottle. Plasmids by Ryan Industries” Richard said to himself. There was a lone picture of a strangely shaped bottle with a red liquid inside. The top of the bottle had what appeared to be a face.
What are plasmids? Richard thought. He stared at the bottle more closely until someone walked up behind him.
“What are you doing?” He heard someone say behind him. The person startled Richard. He turned around to reply. He saw a man with slicked back hair, moderately sized nose, and a thin mustache.
“Oh I was just reading this uh thing here” Richard said pointing to the advertisement behind him.
“Plasmids, eh? A work of modern science. Simply amazing.” the man said. Richard looked at him confused. “You know what plasmids are, right young man?” He asked. Richard shook his head.
“Really now? Plasmids will change Rapture! They allow your genetic codes to be rewritten, giving you extraordinary abilities. In other words they give one 'super powers'” He said. Richard was confused and interested. He noticed the man was wearing nice clothes, he had money then. He could afford the plasmids he talked about.
“Who are you?” Richard questioned.
“Dr. J.S Steinman. Plastic surgeon. I run Dr. Steinman's Aesthetic Ideals here in Medical Pavilion. If you know anybody who wants to look different, tell them Dr. Steinman can make them look beautiful” He said “Now I must go. Patients are waiting”. He bowed slightly and walked away.
That was...strange Richard thought.
Richard made his way back to the bathysphere station and went back to Neptune's Bounty.
Later that night, Richard sat on his meager bed in his apartment. He held the butterfly in his hand, feeling the wings. The thought of being part of a family appealed to him greatly. He had the chance to have something he had wanted back for years. He pinned the butterfly to his shirt.
“Wear this for a week? Doesn't sound too bad' He said aloud. Again, who was he talking to? He was still alone.
Not for long he thought.

The next day Richard went to work wearing the blue butterfly. He noticed he was getting strange looks from others in the processing warehouse, but that didn't matter to him. He was going to be part of a family.
Richard's work pace had increased. He was working nearly as fast as he was over a month ago. Richard finished the two fish boxes Eric had dropped off at his station. When Richard's break had come, he search for Eric. He headed for the “Incoming Shipments” where we knew Eric was. Richard eventually found Eric, who was stacking fish crates on a dollie. Richard walked up behind him.
“Hey Eric” Richard said. Eric turned around and looked at Richard.
“Rich! Good to see ya me boy! Ya don't ever come down to these parts, do ya?” Eric said. Richard could see that Eric was looking at the blue butterfly pinned onto his shirt, but he didn't say anything.
“Yeah that's about right. I uh came down here to see if you could send a few more crates up to my station after break. Like three maybe?” Richard said.
“Oh yeah, yeah I can do that” he said.
“Alright thanks. Bell's going to ring soon. I'll you around” Richard said.
“Ok see ya around Rich” Eric said. Richard left and headed back to the processing warehouse. On his way back the bell rang. Richard worked the rest of shift with a fast pace. He had finished the three crates Eric had sent up.
After his shift, Richard went home. He was tired and went to bed right away. He took the butterfly off his shirt and set it on the table next to his bed.
Only a few more days he thought to himself.


The next several days went by relatively fast. Richard was excited for his next appointment with Dr. Lamb. She would instate him into the family she had mentioned. Family.
Richard woke with a cheerful disposition. He put on his best clothes and ate c can of fruit along with several pieces of bread. Richard wasted most of the day thinking about what his new family would be like.
Richard looked at his clock. 5:00. It was time to leave. Richard left his apartment and walked moderately fast to the bathysphere station. Richard was almost there when he heard someone calling him.
"Rich!" he heard a voice yell. He turned around and saw Eric walking up to him.
"Hey Rich, what's going on?" He asked in a friendly manner.
"I'm going to see that Lamb lady again" He said to Eric.
"Again? So ya did go see her?" Eric asked.
"Yes I did. And you know what, she actually helped me. I feel...much better now since I've been to her" Richard said with some excitement in his voice.
"Well that's good bud. It's good to see ya lookin' alright. Ya had me going over the past month. You know, all suicidal sounding and stuff" He said. Then Eric took notice of the butterfly pinned to Richard's shirt.
"Say Rich, what's that ya got there?" He asked pointing to the butterfly.
"Oh this? Dr. Lamb said I should wear it to brighten my mood you know? Blue is a soothing color, eases tensions" Richard said back. Eric nodded his head.
"Ah yeah I can see that. Makes me feel loosened just lookin' at it" Eric said. He looked at his watch and then looked back to Richard.
"Hey listen bud I gotta go. Don't wanna keep ya waiting for Dr. Lamb" He said. "I'll catch ya around, ok? Maybe pop into the bar tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I'll see what I'm doing then" Rich replied. Eric nodded and then hurried off. Richard continued onto the bathysphere. He set the navigation for Medical Pavilion. As the sphere sunk, Richard was overwhelmed with thoughts. I'll finally have a family! he thought.The bathysphere reemerged into Medical Pavilion, Richard stepped out and set off for Dr. Lamb's office. Once again he was standing in front of the office's door. Heart pounding. Legs shaking. The doors opened and Richard walked in and up to the desk of the receptionist. After a few seconds she looked up at Richard.
"Hello Mr. McCoy, here for your appointment? I'll let Dr. Lamb know" she said in the same shrill voice that gave Richard chills. She stood up from her desk and proceeded down the hallway, to the third door on the right. A minute later she was back.
"Okay sir, Dr. Lamb is ready to see you. You remember the room, right? " she said. Richard nodded and walked down the hallway and then entered the great room he remembered. It still brought amazement to his face to look out the window.
Dr. Lamb was sitting in her chair like she was the week before. Richard could tell she was looking at the butterfly on his shirt.
"I see you are wearing the butterfly. Did you wear it all week?" Dr. Lamb asked Richard.
"Yes, yes I did Dr. Lamb" he replied.
"Excellent. Have a seat why don't you" she said. Richard walked to the familiar sofa, sat down, and then laid down. He still had the feeling he shouldn't be on it with the filth he carried.
"So tell me, Richard, how often did you think about what I said last week?" Dr. Lamb asked him.
"I thought about it quite a lot. I was excited to know I could be joining a family" Richard said.
"Yes yes, the family. Richard, what do you think I meant by 'family'? Did you think of a new mother and father, living in a new home?" Lamb questioned.
"Well uh...not entirely." Richard said.
"I see. I need to tell you about our family. The Rapture Family." she said to him. The Rapture Family. That name made Richard feel uneasy for a moment.
"The Rapture Family?" Richard questioned.
"Yes, the Rapture Family. A family you can be part of. A family you will play a vital role in.". Richard was silent for a moment.
"What...what does that mean?" Richard asked.
"I will tell you, but first there is someone I want you to meet. Eleanor, could you come here please?" Dr. Lamb said, turning around to face a corner of the room. In that corner sat a little girl on a stool, that Richard somehow didn't see when entering.

Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

[O'Malley de Bough]

"Yes mother" the child said. She set down a book she was reading, which seemed strange to Richard. Eleanor appeared to only be around six years of age, but Richard was never good at guessing people's ages. Eleanor got up from her stool and walked to Lamb's chair side.
"Richard this is my daughter, Eleanor Lamb. Eleanor, Richard" Dr. Lamb said. Eleanor walked to Richard with her hand extended.
"It is nice to meet you Mr. Richard" she said. Richard propped himself up and met her hand with his.
"It's nice to meet you too, Eleanor" Richard said as they shook hands. After the handshake, Eleanor walked back to Lamb's chair. Richard was greatly confused. What did Lamb's child have to do with anything?
"Richard, I guess you are wondering why Eleanor is here, yes?" Dr. Lamb said to Richard. He nodded his head, confusion on his face still.
"Eleanor is going to be...something extraordinary. Isn't that right Eleanor?" She said looking at her.
"Yes mother" The child said back.
"I want you, Richard” Lamb said looking back to Richard “ to be her protector. I need you to make sure she stays safe from the citizens of Rapture" Dr. Lamb said. Richard's face was blank. Body guarding? She wanted him to be a bodyguard. Or worse, he would be babysitting Eleanor. Not exactly something Richard wanted most in life.
"I...I don't know about that" Richard said hesitantly. He met eyes with Lamb, who had a disappointed look on her face.
"Richard, I am giving you an opportunity. You can join the Rapture Family and be by Eleanor's side. You will matter in this family. Or you can go back to your life in Neptune's Bounty. You will be alone" She said with fierceness. Richard considered what Lamb has said. She was right. What other choices did he have? He could be part of a family, or he could go back to fish guts.
"I need an answer, Richard" Dr. Lamb said. Richard looked around the room, searching for an answer. He then knew his response.
"I uh...I'll do it." He said looking at the ground. He looked up at Lamb who had a slight smile on her face.
"Excellent. I am glad you will be joining us, Richard. Your protection of Eleanor will ensure the salvation of humanity" Dr. Lamb said to him. The salvation of humanity? Would this task be important after all?
"Before I can fully let you be a part of the Rapture Family, I need your everlasting word that you will protect Eleanor at all costs. Even if it means risking your life." Dr. Lamb said. Richard was alarmed at what Dr. Lamb had said. Even if it means risking your life. Would all this be worth it? It must be Richard thought. I will matter because I will be the one protecting Eleanor. Nearly a minute had passed before Richard could reply. He sat up and looked at Dr. Lamb.
"I give you my word. I give you my word that I will protect Eleanor. I will protect her at all costs, even if it means my own life" He said with courage.
"That is good to hear, Richard." Lamb said. Dr. Lamb looked at Eleanor.
"You see, Eleanor, Mr. McCoy here will be watching after you to make sure you are safe." Lamb said. Eleanor looked at Richard with a smile. It made Richard feel slightly warm inside.
"Richard, I will not require you to watch over Eleanor just yet. First I want you to become acquainted with other members of the Rapture Family. I would like you to come to Dionysus Park next Saturday, where I will be holding a gala" She said. Dionysus Park. Richard had heard the name before but nothing more.
"What is Dionysus Park?" he asked Dr. Lamb
"Dionysus Park is my private resort exclusive to members of the Rapture Family. This is where you will start your watch over Eleanor." She said. Richard looked at Eleanor, and then looked back to Lamb.
"Ok. Next Saturday you said?" Richard said.
"Correct. Try to arrive at 7 pm. Also, where some nice clothes" She said. Richard looked down at his shirt and pants. He hadn't realized how awful they looked. They had various stains and a few tears, but they were the nicest he had.
"I uh...I don't have any nice clothes" Richard said shamefully.
"I understand. Do not fret about it then. I will take care of it" Dr. Lamb said. I will take care of it. What does that mean? Richard thought
"I think this concludes our session for today. Thank you, Richard, for your choice to join the Rapture Family." Dr. Lamb said. Richard nodded his head and stood up.
"Thank you Dr. Lamb. I uh...I guess I will see you next week then." Richard said. He turned his attention to Eleanor.
"I guess I will also see you too, Eleanor" He said to her.
"It was nice to meet you today Mr. Richard. I can't wait for the fun we will have together" she said with a smile. Richard took note of the somewhat large gap between her top front teeth.
"Yeah uh I can't wait" Richard said. He began to walk out of the room when he heard Dr. Lamb call to him.
"Remember, Richard, you made a smart decision today. You took an opportunity and have made it into something" She said. Richard smiled and walked out of the room and down the hallway. He left Dr. Lamb's office and made his way back to Neptune's Bounty.
In the bathysphere, Richard thought to himself. I'm part of a family now. The Rapture Family. Rapture Family. Family...

Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

[O'Malley de Bough]

Richard felt great the day after his second appointment with Dr. Lamb. He was now part of the Rapture Family. He had a purpose now. Richard was to protect Eleanor when the time came. Richard felt as is he had meaning to his life now. Dr. Lamb called on him and wanted him to fulfill a task. And he would.
It was Monday now and Richard had to get ready for work. He slid into his fishing waders and headed to the cabinet to grab a bite. He took not one, but two cans of fruit and took a seat at the table. Richard happily munched of the fruit and hummed while he did. Once he was done he check the time on his clock. 8:20. Richard didn't have to be at Fontaine Fisheries until 8:40, but he decided to leave early.
Richard clocked into his shift just over 8:30. He was the first one to show up for the day. He made his way to his workstation, and noticed there were no fish crates.
I'm really early today he thought to himself. Richard waited several minutes before he saw Eric walk in, pushing a dollie stacked with fish crates. He saw Richard and surprise filled his face.
“Rich! You're early today. Ya even beat me here. What's the occasion?” Eric said.
“Eric, I've found my purpose, that's what.” Richard said ecstatically.
“Oh that's uh...that's good news bud” He said setting the crates next to Richard's table. “I gotta get the rest of these crates distributed. I”ll catch ya later. Oh before I go, ya gonna pop into the pub tonight after shift?”. Eric asked.
“Yeah sure I'll be there” Richard said. Eric gave a smile and wheeled the dollie to where had come from. This was the first time Richard had said he would be going somewhere. Richard started gutting the fish from the crates.
Today Richard had finished his quota early. A first time thing for him. He didn't know what he should do, but he soon decided he would clock out early and head home before he went to Fighting McDonagh's Tavern.
Richard rested himself for a while before leaving for the Tavern. He still had the feeling from when he first woke that day. A feeling of hope. After about an hour, Richard looked at his clock. Nearly 6:30. He decided it was time to go. Richard left his waders on and walked out of the door. Just minutes later he was walking into the tavern. He saw Eric sitting at the bar in the same place as he had been the last time Richard came. Richard walked to him and sat on the stool next to him.
“Rich glad ya could make it!” Eric said. “Bartender, two Lacan Scotches”
“So Rich I saw you were gone before shift ended today. Where did ya go off to?” Eric questioned.
“Oh I finished my crates early. Decided to jet out of the fishery.” Richard said. Eric looked concerned for a moment.
“I don't think that to be such a good idea Rich. If the wharf master finds out ya been cuttin' work early, he's gonna get on ya case soon” He said.
“I think things will be fine. As long as I can finish all crates, I think I'm alright” Richard said back. The bartender came back with their drinks. Richard picked up his glass and took a big gulp.
“Like your scotch there, eh Rich?” Eric said with a small laugh. Truthfully, Richard hated alcohol. But today was a good day, and that always has to be concluded with a drink.
“Yeah it's alright” Richard said after he swallowed. He and Eric talked for a few hours hour. Richard asked Eric about his wife, who he said was doing fine. Same went for his children.
Richard had been at the tavern for couple hours and decided to go home.
“Hey Eric, I'm going to go home. I'll see you later” Richard said.
“Alright see ya later bud” Eric said to him. Richard left the pub and was glad to get some fresh air. He steadily walked to his building and up the stairs. Richard turned down his hallway and noticed a box sitting on the floor outside of his apartment. When he got to his door, picked up the box and unlocked his apartment and walked in. Richard set the box on the table. It was unlabeled and was sealed on the top. Richard grabbed a knife from his kitchen and cut the seal. He opened the box and he saw clothes inside. Not just any clothes either. New clothes. Nice clothes. There was also a letter a sitting on top that had “Richard McCoy” written in cursive. He opened the letter and read what it said.

Dear Richard,
I have sent you a few items that will be helpful to you in the future. I have included a pair of clothes that you will wear to Dionysus Park on Saturday. There are also two tools you will need for the protection of Eleanor. Please become situated with them before Saturday's Gala.

Sincerely,
Dr. Sofia Lamb

How did Dr. Lamb know where I live?Richard thought. He soon disregarded that thought and pulled the clothes out in their folded state. He didn't want disturbed them. The shirt felt soft and was rip or tear free. The pants were too. Then at the bottom of the box Richard noticed another box. A metal box. He pulled it out and set it on the table. It had two locking clasps on one side of it. Richard released the clasps and opened the container. Inside there was a shiny revolver sitting in foam. He gingerly pulled it out and held it with amazement. He rolled the barrel open and it was loaded. Was Richard going to really have to hurt people to protect Eleanor? But then he remembered what he had promised.
I will protect Eleanor at all costs. If that meant having to crack a few skulls along the way, then so be it. One other thing caught Richard's eye, and he didn't know how he missed it. Next to the empty pistol mold in the foam, there was a syringe and a red bottle. A bottle like Richard had seen in the advertisement in Medical Pavilion. He set down the revolver and picked the two objects up. Attached to the plasmid bottle was a note. Richard pulled the note off and read it.
“Instructions. Extract plasmid using syringe needle. Insert syringe needle into arm and inject plasmid” he said aloud. Sounded simple enough. Richard held the needle to the top of the plasmid bottle and stabbed it through the little head on the top. He pulled the syringe plunger up and it filled with the strange red liquid. He set the plasmid bottle down and proceeded to inject himself with the plasmid. Richard's heart began to race.
What is this really? What if something bad happens to me? He thought to himself. Nonetheless it was for Eleanor, and that was all he needed to think about.
Richard stuck the needle into arm and pushed down on the plunger. The plasmid emptied from the syringe and into his body. Richard could feel pain over every inch of his body. He pulled the syringe out and dropped it. He began to scream with pain and stumbled onto the ground. Richard felt cold. Extremely cold. His looked at his arms and he could saw a frost forming one his skin.
What have I done? He thought. Richard's face was locked in pain. He kept feeling colder and colder, until he lost consciousness.
Richard woke several hours later. His vision was blurry and he had a massive headache. He was laying on his side and rolled onto his stomach, then he began to stand up. Richard looked at his left arm. He was shocked at what he saw. His entire arm was covered in a layer of ice. What was strange was that he didn't feel it.
“Whoa. What the hell is going on” He said. “How do I get rid of this”. Richard thought for a moment.
“What if I...” He said. The ice disappeared from his arm. Richard had concentrated on making the plasmid hide.
“But can I...” The ice reappeared on his arm. All Richard had to do was concentrate on making the plasmid show itself.
"I wonder if...". Richard held his arm straight and aimed to the kitchen. A blast shot out from his hand and froze several cans of fruit. Richard was in complete awe.
“Wow....this...this is just incredible”

Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

[STOP@RED]

Reserved for future writing.
YAY :D-------------------------------

[O'Malley de Bough]

YAY :D-------------------------------

Yep there is still quite a lot I have planned.

[O'Malley de Bough]

Okay well I added more. Check page five for those who are up to date. If not, start on page one and read :)

[AtlasLamb11591]

Holy Macorolls!
This is ART!

Say,... have any good ideas for 'my short stories'?
my thread is below, i would be honored if you could post some addvice ;)

http://forums.2kgames.com/forums/showthread.php?t=61732

[O'Malley de Bough]

Holy Macorolls!
This is ART!

Say,... have any good ideas for 'my short stories'?
my thread is below, i would be honored if you could post some addvice ;)

http://forums.2kgames.com/forums/showthread.php?t=61732

Why thank you kind sir :) I'm still writing more, so stay tuned in if you want.

As for short stories, I could maybe permit the use of Eric Blakesly's name and someone could create a new story about the life of him.

Ooo that isn't such a bad idea. I might use that eventually.

[GreenMind]

say, if this gets big enough, maybe 2K will contact you and ask for copyright permission to use Richard in Bioshock 3 like a Mark Meltzer type character. probably not...but it's cool to think about

[O'Malley de Bough]

say, if this gets big enough, maybe 2K will contact you and ask for copyright permission to use Richard in Bioshock 3 like a Mark Meltzer type character. probably not...but it's cool to think about

Haha that's such a big thought there. It's fun to think about.

[O'Malley de Bough]

Reserved for future material.

[STOP@RED]

Haha that's such a big thought there. It's fun to think about.
IF I were a 2k guy I would of contacted you like 5 pages ago haha

[O'Malley de Bough]

IF I were a 2k guy I would of contacted you like 5 pages ago haha

Haha that's good to hear.

For everyone I added more to the story. Look to the first part on page 6. Enjoy :)

[STOP@RED]

Richard got Ice, Ice, Baby.
Ice, Ice, Baby!

Keep Going! Cant wait for the next part!

[Codex]

I hate to be really difficult O'Malley, but I'm just going to out and out say it.

I actually cannot read this because of the formatting. Would you kindly go back and put paragraph breaks between your paragraphs in the first few installments? I'd love to read it but I actually can't get past the first few bits before my eyes want to mutiny.

[STOP@RED]

I hate to be really difficult O'Malley, but I'm just going to out and out say it.

I actually cannot read this because of the formatting. Would you kindly go back and put paragraph breaks between your paragraphs in the first few installments? I'd love to read it but I actually can't get past the first few bits before my eyes want to mutiny.

Mr.Difficult :P

[Codex]

Mr.Difficult :P

Miss. Miss Difficult. I am unwed and sans-y chromosome.

[STOP@RED]

Miss. Miss Difficult. I am unwed and sans-y chromosome.

Sorry, my bad! MISS difficult :rolleyes:

[O'Malley de Bough]

I hate to be really difficult O'Malley, but I'm just going to out and out say it.

I actually cannot read this because of the formatting. Would you kindly go back and put paragraph breaks between your paragraphs in the first few installments? I'd love to read it but I actually can't get past the first few bits before my eyes want to mutiny.

Yes yes I know what you mean. I find it difficult to re-read it myself. I have this all typed out neatly already in Open Office but paragraph breaks don't seem to work on this forum. I'll try to see what I can do though.

[Codex]

Yes yes I know what you mean. I find it difficult to re-read it myself. I have this all typed out neatly already in Open Office but paragraph breaks don't seem to work on this forum. I'll try to see what I can do though.

You need to double hit your enter key in open office, its probably set up so that on the page one stroke of the enter key is equal to a paragraph, but the formatting reads it as just a new line rather than a new paragraph. I have the same issue with my Word program most of the time.

[O'Malley de Bough]

You need to double hit your enter key in open office, its probably set up so that on the page one stroke of the enter key is equal to a paragraph, but the formatting reads it as just a new line rather than a new paragraph. I have the same issue with my Word program most of the time.

I can copy and paste my writing from OO to a post here, but when the post goes live I think the forum removes what it thinks are necessary spaces.

[O'Malley de Bough]

Well today marks the end of the Windows 7 beta test period. My machine will be rendered useless soon, so work will be slow fora while.

Also reserving this post for future material.

[Apollo Ohno]

Well today marks the end of the Windows 7 beta test period. My machine will be rendered useless soon, so work will be slow fora while.

Also reserving this post for future material.

NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I fell in love with your story, please the show MUST GO ON!!!

[GreenMind]

NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I fell in love with your story, please the show MUST GO ON!!!

im sure the show will go on, it just might take awhile

[Phil Isadore]

More I say!!!! :D

[O'Malley de Bough]

And more you shall have. I've been working for 3 days straight on this. Still a lot to go. I'm already typed 14 pages single spaced. Working on a new part at this moment.

[MaxMasonGM]

i love how youre making everything come full circle and basically giving Delta a persona and background. i commend you sir and i cant wait for more :D

[O'Malley de Bough]

i love how youre making everything come full circle and basically giving Delta a persona and background. i commend you sir and i cant wait for more :D

He's not actually Delta. He's someone completely different, but thank you :)

[MaxMasonGM]

He's not actually Delta. He's someone completely different, but thank you :)

._O oh what the hell! haha and youre welcome

[O'Malley de Bough]

._O oh what the hell! haha and youre welcome

Yep it's all about someone completely different ;)

[O'Malley de Bough]

Okay I am planning to release another part later tonight.

[MaxMasonGM]

you're the man. ive actually been inspired to write my own story now after reading your take on Bioshock 3 (i used to write stories before I started to write hiphop lyrics, so story telling will always be my baby).

cant wait to read the next part!

[O'Malley de Bough]

you're the man. ive actually been inspired to write my own story now after reading your take on Bioshock 3 (i used to write stories before I started to write hiphop lyrics, so story telling will always be my baby).

cant wait to read the next part!

It's not really my take on Bioshock 3, more like something that spans over Bioshock 1 and Bioshock 2

[O'Malley de Bough]

New part! I'm testing out a new spacing system to separate paragraphs. Tell me how it works for you.

For the next couple days Richard enjoyed his new gift. He spent nearly an hour just making the plasmid appear and disappear. He still couldn't believe that he had the power of plasmids running through his veins. He had also practiced his aim a couple times. It was something he mastered quickly.
It was now Friday. Richard's required attendance to Dionysus Park was tomorrow. He would get to meet other members of the family. He would also begin his protection of Eleanor . There was a full day left though, and that included his job. Richard put on his waders and left for Fontaine Fisheries.

During Richard's break, he looked for Eric. He wanted to tell somebody, and he knew just who to tell. Richard found Eric in the “Incoming Shipments” department.
“Eric!” Richard called out. Eric looked around confused until he saw Richard.
“Rich! Me boy glad to see you!,” he said “How are you?”
“Just perfect. Hey you want to go to the tavern after shift? There is something I want to show you” Richard said.
“The tavern after shift, eh? Yes I suppose I can make it” Eric replied. Richard gave him a smile.
“Great! I'll see you then” he said.
“Alright friend, see ya at the tavern” Eric replied. Richard went back to the processing warehouse.

After Richard's shift was over, he immediately headed for Fighting McDonagh's Tavern. He arrived before Eric had, and took a seat at the bar. Soon after Eric walked in. He came up to Richard and sat next to him.
“Good to see you again Rich!” Eric said
“Yeah you too” Richard said back.
“So Rich, what's this thing ya wanna show me?”Eric asked. Richard had been waiting for this.
“I'll show you but first,” Richard said “Bartender two Old Tom Whiskeys please”. The bartender brought them their drinks.
“Alright now watch” Richard said. He grabbed Eric's glass. He concentrated for a moment and his plasmid began to show itself. His arm was covered with a layer of ice. The whiskey is the glass began to freeze. Once it was one solid block, Richard sat the glass back down in front of Eric. He stared at the glass and looked at Richard.
“What the f**k was that?” Eric said. Richard couldn't help put a smile on his face.
“I froze your drink” Richard said.
“Yes I saw that. I mean how the f**k did that happen?” Eric said.
“It's a plasmid. I can freeze things and stuff” Richard said.
“What the hell is a plasmid?” Eric asked. Richard wasn't surprised Eric didn't know what a plasmid was. It was only recently Richard had discovered what they were.
“This doctor in Medical Pavilion told me about them. They modify your genetic material and give you insane abilities like this” He said holding his frozen hand up. Eric looked at Richard's hand. He looked frightened.
“It seems a bit dangerous Rich. It's probably not a good idea to mess with what God put you on this Earth with. Where did you even get this...plasmid thing?” Eric said. Richard couldn't tell him it came from Dr. Lamb.
“A friend sent it to me. Met this guy who lives up in Olympus Heights. Told him I haven't felt the wonders of plasmids, so he said he would send me one.” Richard lied.
“Ohh so Rich has friends up top now?” Eric said
“Yep. Benefits aren't half bad” he said.
“Yeah, I can see that” Eric said back.

The two of them talked for nearly twenty more minutes, then Richard decided it was time to leave. He said his goodbyes to Eric and went home. He went to bed son as he got home.
Tomorrow's the day he though to himself.

Saturday. The day Richard was waiting for a week. Richard was to take on his duty today. He spent most of Saturday thinking what he would say to those he was going to meet later in the day. Richard assumed most of them would be higher up on the social scale, and might look down on him. He wanted to make a good impression on them, so they would accept him as one of them.

At around 5:00 Richard took a shower. Showers were not always a top priority for Richard, and would usually take one a few times a week. After his shower, Richard put on the shirt, pants, and shoes Dr. Lamb had sent him. He looked at himself in the grimy mirror of his bathroom. He didn't think he looked all too bad. He almost seemed to look like an entirely different person. Richard finished admiring himself and look at his clock. Nearly 6:30. Time to leave, but before he left he had to take care of one thing. Richard took his revolver from out of the casing it sat and stuff it into the pocket of his pants.

Might need this Richard thought.

Richard didn't exactly know where Dionysus Park was located. He took a bathysphere to an Atlantic Express station. He found a map on a wall and searched for Dionysus Park. Fortunately Richard was at a station that was the last stop before Dionysus Park. He waited ten minutes for a train to come. When one came Richard boarded the train, and was on his way to Dionysus Park.

“Dionysus Park station coming up” Richard heard a rough voice say over an intercom. The train stopped and Richard stepped off the train. The Dionysus Park station was marvelous, more beautiful than anything Richard had seen. Richard continued on to what he believed to be the main gate. There was a line of people waiting to get in. At the front a large man stood, holding a clipboard. He was checking names off as people entered. Richard reached the front of the line and met eyes with the large man.
“Name?” He asked Richard in a particularly low voice.
“Uh Richard McCoy” he replied. The man looked down the list. He flipped the list over, still scanning.
“I'm not seeing your name here. What did you say your name is again?” The large man said to Richard.
“Richard McCoy” he repeated.
“Richard McCoy....McCoy...Ah! There you are. Alright you check off. Welcome to Dionysus Park, Sir” He said. Richard walked through the gate.

His jaw dropped. The place was absolutely amazing. Paintings littered the wall and statues stood everywhere. It was beautiful. Simply amazing.
Lamb owns all of this? Richard thought. Nicely dressed people were everywhere, but Richard didn't care about these people as much as he should have. He wanted to find Dr. Lamb before he did anything. He spotted a waiter walking by him.
“Excuse me” Richard called out to him. The man stopped and turned to Richard.
“Yes, can I help you sir?” He asked.
“I need to find Dr. Lamb. Do you know where she is?” Richard asked him.
“Yes I do.” He turned away from Richard and pointed across the atrium “I last saw her over there just minutes ago. Try looking there”.
“Thank you” Richard said.
“You are welcome sir” and the man was gone. Richard made his way between the crowd in search of Dr. Lamb. After nudging passed many people, Richard took sight of Dr. Lamb. She was talking to a few other people. Richard walked up to the group. Lamb noticed Richard.
“Ah Richard it is so nice you are here” She said “I would like you to meet Father Simon Wales” Motioning to one of the men in the group. He had a scruffy beard and a daunting face that slightly disturbed Richard. Richard held his hand out to him. Richard noticed the other two men that had been in the group had walked off.
“It is nice to meet you sir” Richard said as he shook Wale's hand.

“It is nice to meet you too, my child” he said is a powerful voice.
“Father Wales, Richard here has recently become a member of the Rapture Family” Dr. Lamb said to him.
“Ahh a most wise choice indeed” He said to Richard “Now if you would excuse me, I must take of some business concerning my brother. Good night to the both of you”. Now it was just Richard and Dr. Lamb.
“Richard, I see you received the gifts I sent” she said looking at Richard's attire.
“Yes, yes I did. Thank you for them. I want to say thank you especially for the plasmid you sent too” Richard replied.
“Yes, the plasmid. It must be interesting to have such an ability” She said.
“Don't you have a plasmid Dr Lamb?” He asked her.
“Oh no, never. I cannot let myself be exposed to the risk of corruption from plasmids.” She said.
Corruption? Richard though. What is that supposed to mean?
“I see” he said back.
“Richard, I believe you are ready to watch over Eleanor for now” Dr. Lamb said. Richard knew she wasn't asking, only telling him he was.
“Yes Dr. Lamb, I am” He said back.
“Perfect, follow me please” she said. Dr. Lamb began to walk down a hallway. Richard followed.
“So Dr. Lamb, you own everything here?” Richard asked her during their walk.
“Yes I do.” she replied.
“I think it's quite amazing. Everything here is so beautiful” Richard said.
“Thank you, Richard. I want to have those who are in the Rapture Family to be around true culture. The society Andrew Ryan tries to impose on us is dreadful” she said.
“I see” Richard said.
After a few minutes they arrived to a large room. In it was a carousel. There were children playing on and around it.
“Eleanor, come here please” Dr. Lamb called out at the carousel. Eleanor appeared and ran towards Lamb.
“Yes mother?” she said. She then looked at Richard. “Hi Mr. Richard!”
“Eleanor, Richard will be accompanying you wherever you go. Please listen to what he says. Do you understand?” Dr. Lamb said.
“Yes mother” Eleanor replied back.
“Good. Now Richard, I leave you to your task” Dr. Lamb said and then walked out of the room.
“Come on Mr. Richard, we're going to have lots of fun!” Eleanor said. She grabbed his hand and pulled him off to the carousel.

Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

[MaxMasonGM]

when sofia mentions about not wanting to be exposed to the corruption of plasmids, richard definitely suspected something wasnt right :rolleyes: cant wait for the next bit!

[O'Malley de Bough]

when sofia mentions about not wanting to be exposed to the corruption of plasmids, richard definitely suspected something wasnt right :rolleyes: cant wait for the next bit!

Lol yep you got that right.

[MaxMasonGM]

if i had been him, i wouldve gotten the hell out of there. then again, im paranoid in general, so maybe i am crazy :D

[Apollo Ohno]

Dude have you ever considered writing as a career? Seriously, what you have wrote is 100X better than the story in Bioshock 2. Can't stop reading, and have told all my friends about you. You sir, have written a masterpiece that I am seriously addicted to.

You have made my month sir!

[O'Malley de Bough]

Dude have you ever considered writing as a career? Seriously, what you have wrote is 100X better than the story in Bioshock 2. Can't stop reading, and have told all my friends about you. You sir, have written a masterpiece that I am seriously addicted to.

You have made my month sir!

That is very good to hear! But for now, writing is just a hobby. Maybe if things get more serious, I may send the finished product off to a publishing company.

[Bambi]

This is a really good read. Just fix your grammar up a bit and it'd be perfect.

[O'Malley de Bough]

This is a really good read. Just fix your grammar up a bit and it'd be perfect.

Yeah I usually double check later on. That's when I find grammar errors.

[O'Malley de Bough]

So earlier today I was working on a new piece, and my machine shut down with no warning. I lost the entire new part I had been working on, and I'm going to restart it later tonight.

[Apollo Ohno]

So earlier today I was working on a new piece, and my machine shut down with no warning. I lost the entire new part I had been working on, and I'm going to restart it later tonight.

damn, that sucks...Are you planning to add a giant plot twist in the later parts?

[O'Malley de Bough]

damn, that sucks...Are you planning to add a giant plot twist in the later parts?

Maybe. I can't give away too much, or else you might expect it to come :)

[O'Malley de Bough]

Ok well I am starting to write again. Might have something to post tonight, but it would be rather small.

[O'Malley de Bough]

Does anyone have any title ideas for me?

I thought of the title "Imago".

[GreenMind]

Imago would be good because it is a rebirth for Richard. though right now, for me, i'd have to wait for the end to decide on a name. but that's just what i do for my writing works

[O'Malley de Bough]

Imago would be good because it is a rebirth for Richard. though right now, for me, i'd have to wait for the end to decide on a name. but that's just what i do for my writing works

That is why I am considering that name.

Also....

New part!!!!

The night had gone perfect. Richard took watch over Eleanor, and nothing had gone wrong. He had spent most of his time playing with Eleanor, while still being vigilant for any potential trouble. The other children took a liking to Richard, which made him feel more comfortable being around them.

Dr. Lamb had dismissed Richard from his job, thanking him for doing such good work. Richard went home, enjoying his success.
I think I might like this job after all Richard thought on his way home. When he finally reached his apartment, Richard was tired. Being around the children has worn him out. Even more than double shifts are Fontaine Fisheries. Richard went to bed as soon as he came home, or at least he tried to. He couldn't sleep. Richard was excited for what the future held for him. He laid in bed playing with his plasmid, making appear and disappear. Richard eventually lulled into sleep, still swimming in his thoughts.

The next day Richard woke up to the sound of knocking on his door.
“Just a minute!” Richard called out. He rolled out of bed and slipped on the pants he wore the previous night. He shuffled to the door and unlatched the security bolt. Richard opened the door. No one was there. He poked his head out into the hallway. There was no one in sight. Richard looked down and saw a letter laying on the ground. He picked it up, took one last look into the hallway, and closed the door. Richard walked to the table and sat down. He ripped the letter open and pulled a piece of parchment out, and read what it said.

Dear Richard,
Thank you for taking watch over Eleanor last night during the gala. I appreciate your decision to become part of the Rapture Family. I will require your services again soon. Come to my office in the near future.
-Dr. Sofia Lamb

Richard set the letter down and looked out of his window. He was liking where his life was going. He remembered his suicidal thoughts he had before all this, and thought they were just irrational. Richard had a purpose now, and he would not let anything stand in his way. This made Richard confident in what he was doing. He wouldn't let anyone harm Eleanor. He simply would not. If he had to sacrifice himself, then that is what he had to do. Dr. Lamb herself had said Eleanor was going to be the salvation for the human race. Protecting the child that will someday save the human race. That was a big thought for Richard. Who would really want to hurt Eleanor?
Enemies of Dr. Lamb Richard thought. If they could take Eleanor out the picture, then it would most likely destroy Dr. Lamb. That was another thing Richard couldn't let happen. He couldn't let the women who had given him a purpose be hurt either. Richard finally understood the importance of his job. To protect Eleanor was to protect the salvation of humanity.

Later in the day Richard decided to schedule an appointment that Dr. Lamb had requested. Richard put on a pair of raggedy pants and a shirt, then left for the Medical Pavilion. Richard sought out Dr. Lamb's office and entered the front room. There was a man sitting in the corner on one of the benches against the wall. He had a strange look to him, as if Richard had seen him before. Richard disregarded the man and continued to the receptionist, who was busy on her type write. After a few seconds she looked up at Richard.
“Hello Mr. McCoy, I don't think you are scheduled for an appointment right?” she asked him.
“Yes, but Dr. Lamb told me to come by and schedule one” He replied. She looked at him suspiciously for a moment before saying anything back.
“Alright Mr. McCoy. How does Friday sound?” she said.
“Sounds alright. Same time as before?” He said back.
“Yes sir. Friday at 5:30” she said.
“Alright, thank you” Richard paused for a moment “You know, I never have known your name. Is there something I can call you by?” He asked.
“You can call me Miss Lina” she said. Richard was slightly surprised that her name was Lina.
“OK, well I guess I will be back Friday, Ms. Lina” Richard said. She went back to her typewriter without saying anything to Richard. He left Lamb's office and journeyed back home.

Richard spent what was left in the day organizing his apartment. He made his bed, and cleaned his kitchen, making sure everything was in nice order. Night came and Richard fed on a can of sardines for his dinner. He hated the taste so very much, so he treated himself to a can of fruit afterward.

Richard went to bed, thinking about the week to come. Nothing big would happen, but on Friday he would find out what Dr. Lamb had next for him.


I know it isn't anything exciting, but I wanted to get some out since I haven't done so in a day. I will guarantee you that the next part will be exciting!

Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

[MaxMasonGM]

either way, the story has progressed. and it was still enjoyable :) just a few grammar mistakes i noticed but other than that keep it up!

[O'Malley de Bough]

either way, the story has progressed. and it was still enjoyable :) just a few grammar mistakes i noticed but other than that keep it up!

Yeah I know. I was up late when writing this, and my brain doesn't function the same as when I am rested.

[Doctor Tivilon]

Yeah I know. I was up late when writing this, and my brain doesn't function the same as when I am rested.

I'm liking it a lot. I definitely look forward to more.

[O'Malley de Bough]

I'm liking it a lot. I definitely look forward to more.

That's great to hear. Already brainstorming and jotting ideas down for the next part.

[that_splicer_guy]

dude, you should just right them all down, and release them as chapters and email, i hate checking the forums every couple of days and seeing i missed like three.................:mad: its just that ****ing GOOD!!!!!!!!

[O'Malley de Bough]

dude, you should just right them all down, and release them as chapters and email, i hate checking the forums every couple of days and seeing i missed like three.................:mad: its just that ****ing GOOD!!!!!!!!

Lol sorry that things are a bit difficult. I think you can subscribe to threads and new updates from the thread creator will become a notification to you.

But if you stick around for maybe another 20 minutes, I have the next part almost ready.

[MaxMasonGM]

hell yes. im sticking around man

[that_splicer_guy]

YESH!!!!!!!,your stuff is good, *prediction*, is richard going to become delta?

[O'Malley de Bough]

YESH!!!!!!!,your stuff is good, *prediction*, is richard going to become delta?

Sorry but he doesn't.

[MaxMasonGM]

haha i already took a stab at that earlier and was wrong :p

[that_splicer_guy]

damn, iguess its TOO predictable, he might end up the splicer that throws a hypno at delta

[O'Malley de Bough]

Almost here! Sorry it's taking a little longer than expected!

[MaxMasonGM]

its all good :D take your time

[O'Malley de Bough]

And here it is!

Monday and Tuesday had gone by fast. Nearly half of the week had gone by, and Richard was getting excited for what Dr. Lamb wanted to see him about.

On Wednesday morning Richard rushed to Fontaine Fisheries to get the day over with. He clocked into his shift and went to the processing warehouse. Eric was just delivering the day's quota when Richard came in. He went to his station and began to talk to Eric.

“Hey Eric” Richard said. Eric looked at him with an almost confused look.
“Oh hi there Rich. Hows it going?” Eric asked.
“Pretty good.” Richard replied. Eric was silent for a moment while he loaded fish crates.
“So Rich, I stopped by your place Saturday. Saw ya weren't there. What's up with that?” he asked. The questioned seemed strange to Richard.
“I was out doing a favor for Dr. Lamb” Richard said. Eric looked at him with a puzzled look.
“A favor, eh? I see” Eric said. Richard didn't say anything back. Eric finished unloading the last crate and wheeled his dollie around. Loud talking had sprung from the entrance of the processing warehouse. A short, black haired man walked in with a group of people trailing him.
“Eric, who is that?” Richard turning to Eric. Eric looked at the short man. Shock struck his face.
“God! It's Marco Petrillo! I thought I would never see him ever again around here!” Eric said. Richard looked back at Marco.
“What did he do?” Richard asked. Eric looked at Richard with even more shock.
“Apparently ya don't know Marco. He murdered some poor guy for talking down talking to him. Evidence wasn't hard enough for the death sentence though, and Ryan settled for a prison sentence. The guy is one of the most crooked thugs here in the Bounty. His brother, Marcello, and him run part of Fontaine's smuggling business. Bad people. Ya don't want to get on the wrong path with those guys” Eric said. Eric looked back at Marco who was now surrounded by a group of people. They all seemed to know Marco in some way. The wharf master came into the warehouse and walked to Marco's group. The wharf master had a booming voice that was hard to not hear.
“Marco! It's so good to see you again my friend!” he said. Marco took notice of him and reached out his hand.
“Reginald! It is good to see you too!” Marco said shaking the wharf master's hand. Richard noticed Marco did not have an accent like he expected.
“So Marco, I should guess that you will be going back into...business again?” the wharf master said.
“Ah yes I will, but first I need to ask a favor from you” Marco said.
“Of course Marco”
“I need somewhere to lay low for a awhile. All I need is a job that will cover my ass until I get Ryan off my back” Marco said.
“No problem Marco, I got jobs all around this place. In fact working in here might do the trick. How does that sound?” the wharf master said.
“Sounds perfect” Marco replied.
“Great!” The wharf master said. He turned and looked around the warehouse, eventually setting his eyes on Richard.
“McCoy!” he shouted. Richard became nervous for a moment. He didn't want to have to come near Marco.
“Yes sir?” Richard replied.
“Who works in the station behind you?” he asked Richard. Richard turned around and looked at the table.
“I don't think anybody does” Richard replied. He met eyes with Marco and quickly broke the bond, looking back to the wharf master.
“Perfect. Marco the station behind McCoy over there is free. I'll make sure your quota loads are small, alright?” the wharf master said.
“Yes, thank you friend. You might just be keeping me out of prison again” Marco said. Hr shook hands with the wharf master one last time before the wharf master left. Marco walked to the station behind Richard. His group followed him.
“Alright Rich, I gotta go. Catch ya around sometime” Eric said. Before he left Eric leaned in close to Richard.
“Remember Rich, try not to talk to this guy. Don't insult him in any way. Pretty much don't f**k with him. Stay safe now” Eric said and left the warehouse, walking at a strangely fast pace.
Marco and his group talked for most of the remaining day. Richard was annoyed Marco didn't do any of his crates, but who was going to make him. Marco mainly told his stories about his years in prison. Then someone pointed something out.
“Hey Marco what's you got there” someone asked pointing to Marco's pocket. Marco looked down and saw a watch.
“Oh yeah this little beauty? I found it in one of my hidden lock boxes in my old safe house. I had forgotten about it until I found it. I robbed it off some higher up folk several years ago” Marco said. The last sentence had caught Richard's attention. He stopped his gutting and listened to Marco.
“It was a dirty job. Thought I was going in and gonna take a few things and walk out, but I had to waste a man and his lady. Took this off a desk before I ran out” Marco said. Richard could feel rage running through his veins.
It couldn't be. It just couldn't be Richard thought. He continued to listen on. Marco pulled the watch out of his pocket and opened it.
“It's a top grade watch. Pure gold with silver hands on the face” Marco said. Murmuring came from the group, no doubt impressed by the watch.
“It's also got some letters etched into the back” He said turning it around. “L.F.M” Marco said.
L.F.M. Those were father's initial. Louis Franklin McCoy Richard thought.
“So was that what you got into trouble for Marco? Killing those rich people?” someone asked.
“No, I got away with that. No one ever suspected me. It's all in the past now” He said. Anger was filling Richard quickly. He was now at the point where he wanted to cut Marco open with the tools he had in his hands at that very moment. Richard collected himself for a moment. Before he could do anything he had to be sure about one thing. Richard turned around to look at Marco
“I couldn't help myself from overhearing you talking about a certain watch” Richard said to Marco.
“Yes, what about it?” he said.
“Mind if I have a quick look at it? I'm a real fan of watches and by the way you described it, it sounds really nice” Richard said. Marco looked at some of the others in his group, and then looked back to Richard.
“Sure why not” Marco said. Richard walked to Marco. He unlatched the watch from his belt loop and set in in Richard's palm. Richard examined the watch closely. It was everything he could remember it being. The oval-like shape, the weight, everything. Memories of his father flooded Richard, but he couldn't lose himself now. He turned the watch over and ran his thumb over the initials L.F.M. Richard was absolutely sure it was his father's watch. Marco even admitted to killing two people, a man and a women. His mother and father. After nearly a minute Richard gave the watch back to Marco.
“Pretty nice isn't it?” Marco asked.
“Yeah sure is. Best thing I've seen in years” Richard replied. Richard turned back to his station, and continued on with his work.

For the rest of his shift, Richard's entire body was tense. The man who had ruined him was standing only feet behind him. It took every ounce of restraint to keep Richard from attacking Marco right on the spot. After his shift, Richard went immediately home and locked the door. He sat on his bed with his head in his palms. He didn't know what he was going to do. He wanted to do bad things to Marco. He wanted to erase the person he hated the most at that very second. Richard stood up from his bed and walked to the mirror in his bathroom. He washed his face and looked at himself.
“I know what I'm going to do.” He said to his reflection.

Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

[O'Malley de Bough]

And the other part because it was all too long

Richard was ready for the next day. He had thought out a plan to get revenge on Marco. He worked out most scenarios in his head, and hoped for the best ones to come. Richard left for the fishery without eating anything. He didn't want anything to be in his stomach when he enacted his plan.
Richard worked his shift without ever turning to Marco. He listened to nearly everything Marco said.

Enjoy the stories you have now. The next ones will be the ones you will be telling in hell Richard thought. Richard's shift ended and he began to start his plan. He waited outside of Fontaine Fisheries, waiting in the shadows of another building for Marco to come out. Thirty minutes had passed before Marco came out. He was alone for once.

Perfect Richard thought. He started to follow Marco, keeping almost a twenty foot cushion behind him. The plan was going according to what Richard wanted. Richard felt the revolver he had stored in his pocket. He had it there since he left home. He could feel hate and evil running through him, but it didn't matter. Richard would get his revenge.

Richard had trailed Marco to his home, which was an apartment tenant similar to Richard's. He saw Marco climb up a flight of stairs to the second floor. Richard was close behind. Richard watched as Marco walked down a hallway, and then took a left into what was a sub hallway. Richard walked lightly and turned into the sub hall way. Marco was standing at a door, attempting to unlock a door. Richard walked up behind him, his hand on the revolver's handle.

“Marco Petrillo?” Richard asked. Marco turned around and looked at Richard.
“Yeah. Who wants to know?” he said. Richard pulled the revolver out of his pocket and aimed it square at Marco's forehead. Marco stuck his hands up.
“Whoa buddy! What the f**k do you think you're doing!” Marco said. Richard ignored him.
“Do you know who I am, Marco?” Richard asked. Marco stared at Richard for a moment.
“No I do-Wait aren't you that guy who works in front of me at the fishery?” Marco said.
“That is correct. Do you know something funny, Marco?” Richard said to him.
“No man, nothings funny right now” Marco said looking down into the revolver's barrel.
“Oh there is something funny. You know that story you told yesterday? The one about the watch you robbed off those two people you killed?” Richard asked. Marco nodded.
“Well as it turns out they are, or were, my parents. The only family I had in this city, you took from me. My mother....my father....my life. You took all that away from me. You ruined me, Marco Petrillo. You ruined me, and now here we are all because of some little theft. I have a gun pointed at your head and what can you do? Absolutely nothing” Richard said.
“Come on buddy, I'm sorry. I was stupid, I didn't mean to do it. We can work something out” Marco pleaded. Richard took joy in this. Here was a infamous thug who everyone adored, groveling to a kid. It was priceless to Richard.
“Come on Marco, take it like a true thug” Richard said. He looked down the revolver's sights, taking his aim.
“You'll never get away with this! My brother will hunt you down like an animal and kill you. You're a nobody here! You don't have a gang that will live on after you!” Marco aggressively said.
“Oh I think I will. Who can find a nobody? No one would suspect me of anything." Richard said. He took aim down the sights again. Fear spread across Marco's face. Richard pulled the trigger.

The bang was louder than Richard expected. Marco's body dropped to the floor. Brain matter and blood was sprayed across the door and wall were Marco once stood. There was still one last thing Richard wanted. He lowered himself onto his knee and began to search Marco's corpse. In the same pocket from the previous day was the watch. Richard unlatched it from Marco's belt loop and stood up. Richard had to leave. Someone had to have heard the gunshot. He turned and walked back down the hallway at a steady pace. He turned around and looked at Marco's body one last time.
“Nice doing business with you, Mr. Petrillo”

Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

[GreenMind]

that got crazy intense. will Richard become the batman of Rapture?

[Shades]

Now that's a good story! Keep it up!

[O'Malley de Bough]

Oh my god I just realized that I left an entire part of the was supposed to go before this! :eek::eek:

[that_splicer_guy]

i think that most of it was just a crazy ADAM side effect, but this story is SOOOOO good. you should write a book, or make a crazy machinima

[O'Malley de Bough]

i think that most of it was just a crazy ADAM side effect, but this story is SOOOOO good. you should write a book, or make a crazy machinima

That's not far off from what I am planning. I have nearly 30 full pages typed out right now.

[that_splicer_guy]

make some books and sell them on e-bay, id pay a good 30 dollares or more for one............... with some original artwork..............hmmm*shuffles through paper and grabs a pencil*

[O'Malley de Bough]

make some books and sell them on e-bay, id pay a good 30 dollares or more for one............... with some original artwork..............hmmm*shuffles through paper and grabs a pencil*

I want to turn this work here into a novel. It's definitely possible. But then I thought of copyright issues that would most likely come from 2K. So before I could send this off to a publisher, I would need to contact 2K's legal department and get permission to use the names of locations, people, etc.

[that_splicer_guy]

need an artwork artist, i can send you some basic sketches ive drawn of what I think that rich would look like, or alternativley, you could send me a pick of a person that you envision as rich, i asume you modeled him after yourself?

[O'Malley de Bough]

need an artwork artist, i can send you some basic sketches ive drawn of what I think that rich would look like, or alternativley, you could send me a pick of a person that you envision as rich, i asume you modeled him after yourself?

Sure that would be cool. I asked someone to do some concept work for me, but he never got back to me on it. I did not model Richard after myself, but instead here is a description I gave to the guy who was going to do some artwork.


I have imagined to look fairly tall, maybe 6' 2". He has dark hair (short-medium in length), and hazel eyes. He has normal looking face (Whatever that means to you lol), normal sized nose and such. I envisioned him to have some slight stubble on his face. If you want to do a full body concept, then I pictured him wearing fishing waders (If you need a picture, look up Peach Wilkins on the Bioshock wiki. He wears orange waders, but I would like them to be a greyish-blue)
I would like to see your work first though.

[that_splicer_guy]

hmhmhm, i could try, but my freins is AMAZING i might ask him for help
alright, noe just give me a style, like gritty watchmen shading, or super clean portal coloring

[O'Malley de Bough]

hmhmhm, i could try, but my freins is AMAZING i might ask him for help
alright, noe just give me a style, like gritty watchmen shading, or super clean portal coloring

Is there anyway you can almost do in between those two?

[that_splicer_guy]

i think it would work, got a pic of someon he would look like or two people or threee?

[O'Malley de Bough]

i think it would work, got a pic of someon he would look like or two people or threee?

Sorry I can't really think of anyone right now who does.

[Bio-Tom]

I Need More

[O'Malley de Bough]

I Need More

That can be arranged lol.

[MaxMasonGM]

oh wow. i was actually on the edge of my chair reading those parts. i completely wasnt expecting that twist. i cant wait to see what happens next.

[O'Malley de Bough]

oh wow. i was actually on the edge of my chair reading those parts. i completely wasnt expecting that twist. i cant wait to see what happens next.

Excellent that is what I was going for!

[Phil Isadore]

Wow, I am actually surprised. I thougt you were just going to write some iffy sub par story but I was very wrong. That last part was very interesting and I loved everything about the story. Amazing job, well done sir, well done

[O'Malley de Bough]

Wow, I am actually surprised. I thougt you were just going to write some iffy sub par story but I was very wrong. That last part was very interesting and I loved everything about the story. Amazing job, well done sir, well done

Thank you? Lol. You should have seen the original story (You may have). It wasn't well written at all, and it is why I restarted.

[that_splicer_guy]

uh-huh, your story is like not at all bad, its AWESOME, its just the best thing ever

[O'Malley de Bough]

Maybe, when I'm finished with all this, I could have a give away sort of thing. The prize could be the original paper that held the starting ideas for this.

[that_splicer_guy]

=D that would be awesome!

[O'Malley de Bough]

=D that would be awesome!

I must say though, that it is hand written so therefore is fairly messy (Sorry I don't have the best handwriting lol).

[O'Malley de Bough]

Neeew Part!

Richard leaned back in a chair next to the table in his apartment. His father's watch laid in the center of the table. Richard stared at it with such intensity, as if he wanted to move it with his mind. Richard sat upright and took the watch off the table. He held it in his hand, enjoying the beauty as a result of someone's skilled crafting. Richard remembered always seeing his father with the watch.

I've done it. I have done right to the wrong of someone else. All it took was a little death Richard thought. And then another thought crossed his mind.

I killed someone He thought. I've committed murder. F**k. Now Ryan will send his goons to take me away. That's if the other Petrillo brother doesn't get to me first. Richard began to panic. He stood up from the chair and paced around the apartment.

What am I going to do? Richard thought. He looked around various spots of his apartment for an answer. He set his eyes on the revolver sitting on the kitchen counter.

I have to hide any evidence. Richard then heard a knock on his door. Richard panicked even more.
“Just one minute!” He called out. Richard picked up the revolver and looked for the steel case that it came in. Another knock came.
“I said just a minute!” Richard yelled. Richard put the revolver into the foam mold of the case and stashed the metal box under his bed. Richard walked to the door and opened it. It was Eric.
“Hey Rich ya alright in there?” Eric said. Eric must of heard the scuffling and thumping of Richard.
“Yeah everything is alright here. Is there something I can help you with?” Richard said.
“Oh, no I just came to see what ya were up to in a little while. Was going to head down the the tavern and wondered if you wanted to tag along” Eric said. Richard turned around and looked at his bed. He could see the corner of the metal case sticking slightly from under the bed.
“Sorry Eric, I uh I have something I need to uh take care of” Richard said.
“Oh, well alright then. I'll see ya around some other time.” Eric turned and began to talk away.
“Yeah, see you uh around” Richard called after him. Richard closed the door and latched the security bolt. He was still panicking on what he had done.
.Someone has to help me. Someone has to, but I don't know who He thought. After a moment of thinking Richard knew who he would go to.
Dr. Lamb he thought. Richard had left his father's watch sitting where the revolver once did. He took it and stashed it in under the pillow on his bed. Richard then made his way to Medical Pavilion.

During the trip to Dr. Lamb's office, Richard looked over his should every minute to ensure no one was following him. He had grown paranoid in such a short amount of time. Richard walked at a fast pace. He didn't want to be out in public in his current state of mind.

Richard reached Dr. Lamb's office and walked in. He came up to the receptionist and waited until she looked up.
“Oh Mr. McCoy, you're appointment isn't until Friday” She said.
“I know. I uh need to talk to Dr. Lamb uh really badly Ms. Lina. It's an uh emergency” He said. Richard could see Lina noticed his pauses in his speech.
“Well you're in luck today. Dr. Lamb is free at the moment. I'll go let her know you're here” Lina said. She stood up and walked back down the hallway that led to Lamb's office. She came back and signaled Richard to go see Dr. Lamb.
“Dr. Lamb is ready to see you Mr. McCoy” she said. Richard nodded his head in thanks and walked down the hallway. Richard stopped before Lamb's door. He wasn't sure if she should really tell Dr. Lamb anything.
But I have to Richard thought. He took a moment to collect himself, and then walked in.
“Mr. Richard!” said a child's voice. Richard looked over to where the voice came from. Eleanor was in the room, sitting in the corner that Richard has seen her in.
Oh great Eleanor is here. She can't know what I've done Richard though. Dr. Lamb was sitting in her chair, looking at Richard. Richard froze. He was nervous, and he was showing it.
“Hello Richard. I heard you have an emergency correct?” Dr. Lamb said. Richard nodded his head. He was still frozen in one spot.
“Come, take a seat Richard” Dr. Lamb said motioning to the sofa. Richard finally moved and made his way to the sofa.
“So Richard, what is this emergency I have heard about?” Dr. Lamb asked. Richard was hesitant for a moment.
“I don't want Eleanor to be here to hear it” Richard said.
“Very well. Eleanor, go wait with Ms. Lina until Richard and I are finished” Dr. Lamb said.
“Yes mother” Eleanor replied. She stood up from her small stool and left the room. When Richard could no longer hear her footsteps he continued.
“Dr. Lamb...I've...I've done something bad” Richard said. Dr. Lamb looked at him questionably.
“Something bad you say? What have you done Richard?” She said. It took a moment for Richard to respond.
“I...I took the life of another person” He said. Dr. Lamb was silent for a moment.
“Who was this person, and why did you take their life?” She asked him.
“His name is...was...Marco Petrillo. And he...he is the man who killed my parents” Richard said.
“ Tell me, Richard, what did you feel when you killed Marco?” Dr. Lamb asked. Richard had to think for a moment.
“I...I didn't feel anything. I thought I was another person for a while. I was filled with hate and rage. I felt like he needed to pay for taking my family and my life” Richard said.
“I see. Richard, I believe you are ready now for what I want you to do next. I thought this would not happen until later on.” She said. Richard looked at her with confusion on his face.
“I want you to fully take watch over Eleanor now. I want you to become almost a shadow of her. I want you to follow her everywhere she goes, while protecting her” Dr. Lamb said. Richard was still confused. He had confessed to murder, but to Dr. Lamb it as somehow a signal. Richard took a moment to think about it.
“What about my home in Neptune's Bounty? Will I live there still?” Richard questioned.
“No, you will not. You will always sleep under the same roof as Eleanor. Everything you do will revolve around Eleanor” She said. Richard didn't quite like giving his apartment up just yet.
“I don't want to leave it behind. I want everything to still be there” He said.
“Very well. I will see to it that the rent on your apartment is paid for. Therefore you will not be evicted” she said. That wasn't such a bad deal to Richard.
“Okay. I'll do it” Richard said. A small smile appeared on Dr. Lamb's face.
“Excellent, Richard” She said. On a table next to Lamb's chair there sat a small speaker with a lone button on it. Dr. Lamb pressed the button and spoke into it.
“Ms. Lina, please send Eleanor back here” She said. A fuzzy voice replied back and soon Eleanor had come back.
“Eleanor, Richard here is going to be watching over you for a while. He will be following everywhere you go. Do you understand?” Dr. Lamb said to the child.
“Yes mother” She replied and then looked at Richard. “We're going to have so much fun Mr. Richard! We're going to be good friends!” Eleanor said. Richard didn't say anything back. He just nodded his head. Richard was having trouble wrapping everything that had just happened around his head. Nearly two hours ago Richard had put a bullet to Marco's head. Now it didn't bother him. Dr. Lamb made it seem that Richard's action was just.
Maybe...maybe things happen the way they do for a reason Richard thought.

Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

[that_splicer_guy]

masterpiece! i just cant wait for the next one..............hey you should make a website, and archive them, i mean, soon, im gonna have my computer taken away for a while.......=[, and i dont want to miss your epic story

[Mechanical]

“Dr. Lamb...I've...I've done something bad” Richard said. Dr. Lamb looked at him questionably.
“Something back you say> What have you done Richard?” She said. It took a moment for Richard to respond.


Small grammar and spelling error there. Just wanted to point that out.

Keep up the good work! Just bookmarked this thread :D

[MaxMasonGM]

another amazing read though i knew that lamb was going to be okay with the murder, maybe even set it up. but the why is still a mystery which is great to know.

[Bio-Tom]

More , Mre , Moer

[O'Malley de Bough]

Thanks for the comments everyone! Oh and big thanks to you, Mechanical, for pointing out those errors :)

EDIT:

Oh I forgot to say I will be adding a part sometime soon that was supposed to come before Richard killed Marco.

[Bio-Tom]

This is way better than a lot of books I have

[Nohjo]

well written!

I'm glad to say that The Family is my home too.

[O'Malley de Bough]

I'm glad to say I am working on a new part.

I'm not glad to say I might have to stop giving this story for free.

[that_splicer_guy]

what are you goin to sell books???

[O'Malley de Bough]

what are you goin to sell books???

It's more like I can't have this thread out in the world if I were to send to a publisher. This would almost be a gun shot in my own foot, as well my publisher.

[that_splicer_guy]

well, i guess i could wait months and months...........it would be worth it

[O'Malley de Bough]

well, i guess i could wait months and months...........it would be worth it

I could get away with doing this for a little longer. I still need permissions from 2K, and other good stuff.

[Bio-Tom]

No , you can't do this to me , Just kiding I would pay a hella lot a money for these , YOU HERE ME 2K AHELLA LOTA MONEY

[Bambi]

This is actually an amazing story with an amazing plotline. I get excited whenever a new chapter is posted.

[Phil Isadore]

How long do you plan on making the story. Do you still have a lot left for Mr. McCoy?

[O'Malley de Bough]

How long do you plan on making the story. Do you still have a lot left for Mr. McCoy?

Yes I still have a lot planned for Richard.

[Bio-Tom]

This Is Ftw

[Phil Isadore]

That it is

[O'Malley de Bough]

Working on another part now!

[Mr. Person]

Yay :D

an ETA?

[O'Malley de Bough]

Yay :D

an ETA?

Sometime tonight. Maybe within the hour, but most likely somewhere between 8:30-10:00 p.m Eastern Time.

[Mr. Person]

Epic, You sir win the univearse and all it containes
wrong spelling of universe intended


http://media.photobucket.com/image/Epic%20win/RoanK/EPICWIN.jpg

[O'Malley de Bough]

So this is the part that was supposed to come before Richard's revenge. Enjoy!

Monday. The beginning of the week. Richard was already wanting the week to end. Friday was the only day he cared about. He woke up and quickly got ready for work. He wolfed down a can of fruit, put on his fishing waders, and left for Fontaine Fisheries.

Richard's shift had gone by slowly. He had worked fast, but Richard's perception of time had been thrown off. He worked through his break and finished the day's quota. As he was leaving Eric was entering the warehouse with a a dolly of fish crates intended for someone else.
“Hey Rich!” He called from across the warehouse. Richard didn't want to stop to talk. He only wanted to go home, but he also didn't want to be rude to Eric.
“Hey Eric” Richard said. Eric wheeled the dolly to where Richard was and set it down.
“I was thinkin' about going to the tavern tonight. Ya wanna come along?” Eric said. He was slightly panting from pushing the dolly. Richard didn't want to go to the tavern, but then again he didn't want to be rude.
“Yeah sure, I'll pop in sometime tonight after I get home” Richard said. A small smile appeared on Eric's face.
“Great to hear. I'll see ya then” Eric said. He pulled the dolly back onto it's wheels and pushed it along to a station across the warehouse. Richard could hear someone yelling at Eric, probably for offloading someone's quota on them.

Richard continued out of the fishery. He was early leaving, probably an hour early. There was no one outside of the fishery. Neptune's Bounty was completely silent. Richard didn't mind though. Silence was golden in his book.

On his way to his apartment, Richard noticed something he never had noticed before. An alleyway between two buildings had caught his attention. Richard still hadn't seen all of Neptune's Bounty, and now his curiosity was poking at him. He stood at the beginning of the alley. He looked behind and around him, making sure there were no possible muggers in sight. There was no one in his sight.

The alley was dark. Darker than most places in Neptune's Bounty. Richard followed the alley, and it opened into another alley. Except this one seemed to be a forgotten street. Richard was slightly intimidated by the street, but he continued. Then Richard heard something. Something that he didn't normally hear. A low pitched rumble, almost like a whale's call, had come from somewhere in the area.

What the hell was that Richard thought. He picked up his pace. He had the strange feeling he was being watched, and it wasn't the best feeling in the world. Richard took a left into another alley. There was another rumble. Richard picked up his even more, almost going into a jog. He took another left at the end of the alley and stopped dead.

Nearly ten feet in front of him was a body. And hovering over the body was a little girl. Yet this wasn't just any little girl. She was looked to be maybe six or seven years old, was wearing a dirty dress with no shoes, and had strange yellow eyes. Yet wasn't her age that caused Richard to stop. It was what she was doing that stopped him. She was holding a sort of needle in her hand poking the body in various places, humming while she did so . A bottle on the needle appeared to be filling with blood after every poke. Richard didn't know what was going on. What was a little girl doing all alone in a place like this?

“Hey little girl! What are you doing?” Richard called out to her. She looked up at him and looked back at the body, still humming.
“Hello? Little girl? Where is your mother? What are you doing here?” he continued to call to her. She ignored him further and poked the body in chest. Richard didn't know what to do. Should he walk away, or do something about the girl. Richard began to slowly walk towards her. He walked around the body and stood a few feet behind her. She was still ignoring him. He bent over and pulled the girl's shoulder. She tried to pull away but then Richard grabbed her wrist. She let out a scream.

“Let me go!” she said trying to squirm away from Richard. Richard held onto her and she let out another scream.

A rumble came from on of the alleys. This time it was louder, and sounded much closer than it was before. Richard turned his attention to where the sound came from. Out of an alley came a huge being. The torso was covered in a kind of metal diving suit and it wore a helmet that had several glass openings in it that emitted a red light. A cage surrounded the helmet. It had a tank on it's back, and a gigantic drill for it's right hand. The drill had caught Richard's attention the most. He let go of the girl who then ran to the thing. She cuddled up to the it's leg and then pointed at Richard.

“Get him Mr. B!” she said. Richard didn't like the sound of that. The thing's drill began to spin fast. Very fast. It took a few steps towards Richard and then went into full speed run, drill first. Richard tried his best to move out of the way. The drill grazed his arm, ripping into the flesh. Richard winced and held onto the wound. He had to get out of the street quickly. The thing turned turned around, swinging the drill at Richard. He jumped back and fell. The thing advanced toward Richard. He crawled back but the thing was moving faster. It raised it's drill, getting ready to strike Richard. It would be the killing blow. Richard kept crawling back in fear. He couldn't so anything. Except for one thing. He looked at his left arm and concentrated. His plasmid showed itself. Richard pointed his arm at the thing, shooting a missile of ice. The entire thing was frozen in pose. Richard was amazed at his timing. The drill was only a couple of feet away from Richard. He took the opportunity to escape. He climbed to his feet and looked for the closest alley and ran for it. Richard could hear the ice cracking behind him, followed by the shattering of ice. Richard could hear the drill spin again.

Richard ran down the alley, still holding onto his arm. He was sprinting down the alley and only stopped to see if the thing was following him. Fortunately it wasn't. It had stopped at the end of the alley, watching Richard run. The drill stopped and the yellow eyed girl had appeared between the thing's legs.

Richard didn't bother going home. He went straight to the tavern, hoping to see Eric there. Richard walked in, leaving a slight blood trail behind him. Eric was sitting at the bar. Richard sat next to to him. Eric took notice of him.
“Hey Rich! Glad ya cou-holy s**t!” Eric said looking at Richard's wound. “What happened to ya?” Eric asked.
“Bad day. Bartender! Old Tom Whiskey please and fast” Richard said. Eric was still staring at Richard's arm. The bartender brought Richard's drink. Richard downed the entire drink in one chug.
“Rich, what the hell happened?” Eric asked again.
“I don't know. I was walking down an alley and there was this girl taking blood from a body. I tried to stop her but she screamed and this thing came out of nowhere. It was huge and it had a drill for one of it's hands. Got my arm here. Scared the hell out of me. Like I said, bad day”. Eric looked away from Richard's wound. He took a sip of his drink and looked straight.
“Bad days” He chuckled. “Yeah I know what those are like”

Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

[that_splicer_guy]

two things, why didnt he use winterblast, and i like the copyright thing, its LMAO

[O'Malley de Bough]

two things, why didnt he use winterblast, and i like the copyright thing, its LMAO

I had thought about it putting Winterblast in here, and I may go back and add that.

[that_splicer_guy]

yeah, like thats the only way he could get away..... also the way he killed that guy didnt seem gruesome enough, i wouldve liked to see him be frozen to death........... but HEY, your the artist, not me

[O'Malley de Bough]

yeah, like thats the only way he could get away..... also the way he killed that guy didnt seem gruesome enough, i wouldve liked to see him be frozen to death........... but HEY, your the artist, not me

I actually almost wrote that in. I thought about having Richard freeze him, and then shoot him in the head, shattering him into little bits.

But as for Richard getting away, I had just wrote it so he was just able to get away but I maybe should go back and put Winterblast in there.

[that_splicer_guy]

yes, because i HIGHLY doubt rich would be able to get away from a bouncer with little but a gash.........

[O'Malley de Bough]

yes, because i HIGHLY doubt rich would be able to get away from a bouncer with little but a gash.........

Hmm I did describe a Bouncer straight from a picture. Anywho I'm going to go put that part in :)

[O'Malley de Bough]

Alright I added that part in.

[that_splicer_guy]

that was epic, esppecially when it started cracking!!

[O'Malley de Bough]

that was epic, esppecially when it started cracking!!

Yes, I actually think it was a great idea to put it in there!

[Mr. Person]

Im detecting large quantities of win!

http://media.photobucket.com/image/Epic%20win/RoanK/EPICWIN.jpg

[O'Malley de Bough]

Im detecting large quantities of win!


Thank you, but I would like to request that you don't post image links :)

[that_splicer_guy]

hey o'malley, did you see my pic of delta, it is in the bioshock 2 art thred check it out;)

[O'Malley de Bough]

hey o'malley, did you see my pic of delta, it is in the bioshock 2 art thred check it out;)

That's not too bad. Better than anything I could draw lol. I have creative capacity but I have no art capacity :p

[O'Malley de Bough]

Here (http://forums.2kgames.com/forums/showpost.php?p=713121&postcount=158) is the link for the latest post for those who haven't & want to see it.


(http://forums.2kgames.com/forums/showpost.php?p=713121&postcount=158)

[MaxMasonGM]

just read it. i loved the little fight scene with the bouncer, i was like oh hell hows rich gonna escape! I liked it man. good job.

[wrxnoodle]

Wow, this is pretty epic!:D I stumbled upon this by accident (read: fate, lol) Keep it up, I'm already suffering from withdrawals not being able to read more...:(

[Archr505]

You're a good writer.
Good grammar, only a few spelling mistakes here and there, and you have a decent vocabulary.

My only issue is that you didn't rewrite the murder. It seems as if he isn't injured, even though he is technically, from the Bouncer. Oh well, your choice:p

[Bambi]

You're a good writer.
Good grammar, only a few spelling mistakes here and there, and you have a decent vocabulary.

My only issue is that you didn't rewrite the murder. It seems as if he isn't injured, even though he is technically, from the Bouncer. Oh well, your choice:p
He said that the drill only touched his arm, leaving a small wound. It's not like her drilled into his face.

[O'Malley de Bough]

You're a good writer.
Good grammar, only a few spelling mistakes here and there, and you have a decent vocabulary.

My only issue is that you didn't rewrite the murder. It seems as if he isn't injured, even though he is technically, from the Bouncer. Oh well, your choice:p

Yeah I'm going to have to go back and rewrite that part slightly.

[Tom2020]

Nice job O'malley. For an amateur that really good storytelling you have there. Though, I come from a family of writers, my dad has been numerously been published, and so has my mom. Me, I'm not really interested in writing, but more in film making.....

But what I was trying to say was that, though your story is very good there is alot of sentence fragments, and alot of simple mistakes. If you sent this to a publisher, this would have to go through some serious re-editing...

[ZnorfRat]

Keep it up the awesome writing! Read the whole ting so far and am hungry for more! :D

[O'Malley de Bough]

Nice job O'malley. For an amateur that really good storytelling you have there. Though, I come from a family of writers, my dad has been numerously been published, and so has my mom. Me, I'm not really interested in writing, but more in film making.....

But what I was trying to say was that, though your story is very good there is alot of sentence fragments, and alot of simple mistakes. If you sent this to a publisher, this would have to go through some serious re-editing...

Yes I already planned to have it edited. No doubt there are various mistakes, and I want them fixed before anything gets sent off.

[Mr. Person]

So when the next page coming out? i can not wait O:<

[Tom2020]

Yes I already planned to have it edited. No doubt there are various mistakes, and I want them fixed before anything gets sent off.

Great, I hope you do well. The story is really phenomenal for an amateur, such as yourself. I hope more comes from you in the future...

[O'Malley de Bough]

Great, I hope you do well. The story is really phenomenal for an amateur, such as yourself. I hope more comes from you in the future...

Oh there definitely will be more. A lot more hopefully.

[that_splicer_guy]

you know what would be boss................if 2K made your story canon, that would kick ass:p

[O'Malley de Bough]

you know what would be boss................if 2K made your story canon, that would kick ass:p

I suppose it would be lol!

[MaxMasonGM]

o'malley you should check out the rest of the prologue for my story when you get a chance. ive already got some of the first chapter written, so when i get that typed up..yeaa lol

[O'Malley de Bough]

o'malley you should check out the rest of the prologue for my story when you get a chance. ive already got some of the first chapter written, so when i get that typed up..yeaa lol

It's not too bad looking. Pretty good so far.

[wrxnoodle]

I have a fever, and the only cure is...MORE STORY!!!:p

[that_splicer_guy]

whens the next part coming out?

[O'Malley de Bough]

whens the next part coming out?

To be completely honest I have no idea :o I haven't started on the next part yet. Sorry everyone :o

I'll start brainstorming later tonight and get started maybe tomorrow.

[that_splicer_guy]

thats fine, i can wait.... no pressure... wouldnt want to overwork that big creative brain of yours............

[O'Malley de Bough]

I'll satisfy you with some fun facts about my story.

Fun Facts:
-I originally planned for Richard to be an angry person. I planned him to be thought useful by Lamb because his rage made him an excellent bodyguard for Eleanor.

-One idea I came across before this story was an idea about a guy and a friend of his. They are partners who are part of the Rapture Family. One of them becomes corrupt and the other is forced to take drastic measures to stop him (Still a good idea).
Copyright © 2010 O'Malley de Bough

-Richard's original name was Nikolai.

-This story came from one piece of paper with a simple story on it. It has now bloomed into a 30+ page typed story.

-I thought of Richard having a girlfriend. However she took away from the values of Richard being alone, and that he is a timid person.

-Everyday since this thread has started, I have written at least one page of material.

[MaxMasonGM]

thank you for the feedback. and nice fun facts. personally, i like the name Nikolai better than Richard haha but thats just me.

[O'Malley de Bough]

thank you for the feedback. and nice fun facts. personally, i like the name Nikolai better than Richard haha but thats just me.

You are welcome Sir. I thought Nikolai didn't suit the story and personality of the character. Maybe I will use this name in another story ;)

[MaxMasonGM]

theres always that, of course. idk...ever since I played Timesplitters 2, one of the character's names was Nikolai...its just a cool name haha.

[Phil Isadore]

I wish I could put my daydreaming to amazing stories like this :D

[that_splicer_guy]

hey o'malley, did you ever play portal, and would you consider writing a portal fan-fic?

[O'Malley de Bough]

hey o'malley, did you ever play portal, and would you consider writing a portal fan-fic?

Yes I have played Portal. Frankly I was not impressed with game's story. I don't see myself creating a fan-fic about it. Sorry.

[that_splicer_guy]

what about the half-life universe, that place could use your awesomeness.......

[O'Malley de Bough]

what about the half-life universe, that place could use your awesomeness.......

Hm I guess I could come up with something. However I would need a refresh of the entire story, which means playing HL1 & 2, the episodes, etc. and it seems like too much time that could be wasted.

[that_splicer_guy]

*GRINS* yeah....... have you read the novel "1984" because that was a huge influence to half-life 2... its pretty much the same look and premise

[O'Malley de Bough]

*GRINS* yeah....... have you read the novel "1984" because that was a huge influence to half-life 2... its pretty much the same look and premise

Yes I have read 1984 several times. The first time I read it I said to myself "This is just like Half-Life 2 on paper".

[that_splicer_guy]

yeah, me and my physics teacher are HUGE halflife fans, and he bought me the book one day, and i said " this was made in 1949...ugh..." but then i read it and my jaw just dropped.... he did the same thing with the fountainhead said and told me about bioshock.............

[O'Malley de Bough]

Alright well I actually added more to part after the Bouncer encounter. Enjoy!


Richard decided that his wound needed attention. It was bleeding profusely and it pained him greatly. The only place he could go to help his wound was Medical Pavilion. Richard had left the tavern and went straight to a bathysphere.

Richard needed to get to a doctor fast. Applying pressure to the gash wouldn't last him much longer. He could feel himself becoming dizzier and dizzier by the minute. As soon as the bathysphere surfaced into Medical Pavilion, he set for the a doctors office he had passed by when going to see Dr. Lamb.

Richard found the office he wanted. He stumbled into the waiting room. Several other people were waiting in the room. They all looked at Richard, who was leaving behind a trail of blood. Richard tired his best to walk normally to the receptionist. She had been staring at Richard since he had walked in.

“Can I...Can I help you sir?” She asked Richard. Richard took a moment to reply. He was panting and sweat dripped off his forehead.
“Yes I need a cut taken care off. Badly” He replied. She looked at his arm disgustedly. His hand has covered in blood from holding the wound.
“I uh I will see what I can do for you sir. Can I have your name first?” She asked Richard. Richard didn't reply. He was spacing out and didn't hear a word she said.
“Sir?” She asked. Richard looked at her, still unresponsive. He could feel himself losing getting extremely dizzy. He leaned on the receptionist's desk. Richard tried tried his best to hold onto consciousness, but he couldn't. He let go of the desk and fell to the floor, slipping into unconsciousness.

Richard opened his eyes. He was blinded by a bright light hanging over him. He squinted his eyes and looked around. He was in a room. A hospital-like room. Richard was laying on a bed and it was quite comfortable. There were a couple things Richard noticed when looking around the room. His shirt was missing from his body, and he had many stitches were his wound used to be. Richard had a major headache and it hurt to look around anymore.

The door to the room opened and a person walked in, presumably a doctor. He was bald and had a worn face with a slight gray beard. He was holding a a folded linen. He looked at Richard and a smile appeared on his face.
“Well hello Mr. McCoy! Glad to see you are awake!” He said. Richard looked at him. His mouth was dry and he didn't want to say anything.
“You gave us a little scare for a while. You had lost a lot of blood from that massive gash in your arm. It looked to be the work of some sort of machinery, am I correct?” He said. Richard nodded.
“That's what I thought. The way the muscle and skin had been cut into resembled that of a drill. Did your incident involve a drill?” He asked.
“You could say that” Richard said in a course voice. The doctor heard Richard's voice and picked up a small cup from a table and filled it with water. He handed the cup to Richard who gulped it down.
“Better?” he asked. Richard nodded his head.
“Anywho the drill wound resembled that of a Big Daddy. Did you get into a tangle with a Big Daddy?” He asked Richard. Richard didn't know what he meant. Unless he was talking about the metal thing that had attacked him. Richard nodded his head again.
“That's what I thought. I would advise you to stay clear of Big Daddies, as you probably know by now” He said.
“I didn't know what it was. There was this little girl and she was doing this thing to some body and I tried to stop her, but she yelled and that Big Daddy came at me” Richard said. The doctor nodded his head.
“Well like I said Mr. McCoy, stay away from Big Daddies unless you want to wind up worse than those stitches” He said. He picked up the linen he had brought in and set it on the bed Richard was laying on.
“Here is your shirt Mr. McCoy. It was drenched in blood so we washed it for you. I expect you want to get out of here, so I'll leave you be” He turned to walk out of the room.
“Hey wait!” Richard called to him. The doctor stopped and turned around.
“Yes?” he said.
“How do you know my name?” Richard asked. The doctor smiled at Richard.
“My boy, us doctors have a way of communicating with each other. Dr. Lamb came by while you were passed out. She identified you and paid for the medical expenses in advance” He said.
Dr. Lamb did that for me? Richard thought.
“Now if you don't mind I must be off. There are others who require my services. Oh, be careful with those stitches. Do not try to do anything strenuous for a while. Wouldn't want those stitches to rip” He said. The doctor left the room with Richard still surprised Dr. Lamb had done those things for him.

Richard put on his shirt and left the medical office. Richard wanted to thank the doctor that had been with him, but he didn't see him anywhere. It didn't matter though, Richard wanted to get home quickly. When he finally got home it was nearly four in the morning. Richard was exhausted despite sleeping for hours back in the office. Richard climbed into his bed. His arm was tender where the stitches were.
I want to be out of this place. Away and gone. Richard thought.

[Mr. Person]

Yay :D

10char

[Archr505]

Pretty good, keep it up :D!

[MaxMasonGM]

hmm. i have no idea where the story's going to go from here. this is good to know :D

[O'Malley de Bough]

hmm. i have no idea where the story's going to go from here. this is good to know :D

I guess that is good then lol.

[Shades]

We have an author in our midst!

[O'Malley de Bough]

We have an author in our midst!

Haha maybe ;)

[MaxMasonGM]

I guess that is good then lol.

hella good thing.

[wrxnoodle]

my new addiction...checking this thread for story updates. I guess it would be alot easier to just subscribe lol

[O'Malley de Bough]

my new addiction...checking this thread for story updates. I guess it would be alot easier to just subscribe lol

I guess that is good to hear too.

Also I'm working on more. I don't think I'll have it done today but maybe tomorrow.

[that_splicer_guy]

Haha maybe ;)
if you do become an established author, will you use o'malley de bough as a pen name?

[O'Malley de Bough]

if you do become an established author, will you use o'malley de bough as a pen name?

I very well could use it is as a pen name. It definitely would be an interesting name.

[that_splicer_guy]

few more questions.

1. have you thought of incorporating any multyplayer characters?

2. what would you name your story.

3. what is Richards favorite color?

4. will richard get any more plasmids?

5. in your story.... how old is my GF (Eleanor)

[O'Malley de Bough]

few more questions.

1. have you thought of incorporating any multyplayer characters?

2. what would you name your story.

3. what is Richards favorite color?

4. will richard get any more plasmids?

5. in your story.... how old is my GF (Eleanor)

1. Not yet.

2. Imago. Check the first post in this thread, I added it today.

3. Blue (Same as me)

4. Maybe

5. 6/7 in the first half....

[ljd184]

very good this is great it has given me a new view on lamb a better one she seems much more nice than in the game .
can i ask when the next one will be out and also are you going to make up locations or once that we have just heard about in the game but never whent to.

[MaxMasonGM]

few more questions.

1. have you thought of incorporating any multyplayer characters?

2. what would you name your story.

3. what is Richards favorite color?

4. will richard get any more plasmids?

5. in your story.... how old is my GF (Eleanor)

to quote the baby from the e-trade commercial in regards to the clown, 'i truly underestimated the creepiness factor' lmao jk

[O'Malley de Bough]

very good this is great it has given me a new view on lamb a better one she seems much more nice than in the game .
can i ask when the next one will be out and also are you going to make up locations or once that we have just heard about in the game but never whent to.

That is exactly what I was going for, and I was also showing how manipulative Dr. Lamb is.

As for the next part, all I can say in sometime later this week.

[that_splicer_guy]

to quote the baby from the e-trade commercial in regards to the clown, 'i truly underestimated the creepiness factor' lmao jk


1. Not yet.

2. Imago. Check the first post in this thread, I added it today.

3. Blue (Same as me)

4. Maybe

5. 6/7 in the first half....

what does IMAGO mean???

[O'Malley de Bough]

what does IMAGO mean???

This...


In biology, the imago is the last stage of development of an insect

In other words, a rebirth.

[that_splicer_guy]

that......thats JUST EPIC!!!!!!!!:D :D
that butterfly in the game like represents the second game...
kinda the way a chain represented the first game

[O'Malley de Bough]

that......thats JUST EPIC!!!!!!!!:D :D
that butterfly in the game like represents the second game...
kinda the way a chain represented the first game

That is why I chose it. I thought it fit Richard the most.

[x IZ A KITTY]

O'Malley, I read most of your story, and while I would like to agree with everyone else that is it "the best thing I've ever read", I cannot.

It is a very good plot and there are excerpts that keep me interested, but it's very hard to tell if you re-read any of the material you wrote prior to posting this.

Before I give my criticism, I'll assure you that I'm not a random internet dweller that's trying to troll you, I'm going to give you some legitimate editing advice. I'm an English major at my university with a focus in Creative Writing and Publish-Editing, and I've done this many, many, many times and have been successful. I'm not an expert, clearly, but I would like to see your story be the best it can be :]


Here are a few notes I've taken while reading your story:


• Time-shifts are confusing and get distracting from the story.

• “along with an incredibly small kitchen”—“incredibly” is a dry word.
Seek more defining words.

• Short. Sentences. Everywhere. Mix it up; make ‘em long, make ‘em short.

• “and is what Richard was.”—FIX THAT HOLY GOD THAT IS AN ENGLISH NIGHTMARE.

• There is heavy description where there is no dialogue and none-to-little description where there is dialogue. Ughh.

• Richard’s “loneliness” is unconvincing:
“…is what Richard was. Alone.”—Okay, a sad sap. Cool.
“Eric Blakesly, Richard's one and only friend”—Wait, what? I thought Rich had no friends?
“On the other hand he hated to disappoint people.”—I thought he only had one friend?
“All alone. Alone. Just him.”—Oh, okay. Why is Eric in his life, then?

• “He lived in the possibly worst area”—did he accidently a Coca-Cola bottle, too? Stop it with the dry words!

• “Eric was a good person.”—You don’t need to tell me this directly. Tell me through his actions, it makes the character more interesting to understand.
• “this Lamb women”—WOMAN! :P

• Medical Pavilion. Olympus Heights. Fort Frolic.—Who says you need to have your setting in these places? Make up your own area, don’t restrict yourself to the game’s travelable locations. As Steinman would say, “There is no limit with imagination!”

• “one huge window”—dry words…

• “I want a family again” I like this! Very nice reference to Lamb’s altruistic ways ;]

• The excerpt of the story (where Lamb gives Richard the butterfly broach) is very well-referenced. I enjoyed that part.

• I need to tell you about our family. The Rapture Family." she said to him. The Rapture Family. That name made Richard feel uneasy for a moment.
"The Rapture Family?" Richard questioned.
"Yes, the Rapture Family.”—Do you know the Muffin Man? The Muffin Man? The Muffin Man! (STOP THIS)

• What’s in a name? Will Richard be getting “rich” any time soon, or is this a random name? You may want to consider these small details, as the names of characters in stories (as literary usage goes) are 90% of the information of the story.

• “you will be telling in hell”—Rapture, “hell”? Is Richard Christian?



again, I'm not an expert, but those are some common questions you would typically get from an editor if you were to present your work to them. I don't mean to be harsh, I really don't, but that's just my style of editing.. xP

let me know what you think. overall, I really do enjoy the story. the plot twists are gripping and I think this could be a nicely developed story.

-kitty

[O'Malley de Bough]

I won't quote everything but I will address some things you said.


• Time-shifts are confusing and get distracting from the story.

• “along with an incredibly small kitchen”—“incredibly” is a dry word.
Seek more defining words.

• Short. Sentences. Everywhere. Mix it up; make ‘em long, make ‘em short.

• “and is what Richard was.”—FIX THAT HOLY GOD THAT IS AN ENGLISH NIGHTMARE.

I understand now I need to add more interesting words and such. Make sentences longer too.


• Richard’s “loneliness” is unconvincing:
“…is what Richard was. Alone.”—Okay, a sad sap. Cool.
“Eric Blakesly, Richard's one and only friend”—Wait, what? I thought Rich had no friends?
“On the other hand he hated to disappoint people.”—I thought he only had one friend?
“All alone. Alone. Just him.”—Oh, okay. Why is Eric in his life, then?

I typically think of someone who is lonely to have little to no friends. Richard has only one friend.


• Medical Pavilion. Olympus Heights. Fort Frolic.—Who says you need to have your setting in these places? Make up your own area, don’t restrict yourself to the game’s travelable locations. As Steinman would say, “There is no limit with imagination!”

I'm trying to keep the story the areas that are known in the Bioshock games.


• I need to tell you about our family. The Rapture Family." she said to him. The Rapture Family. That name made Richard feel uneasy for a moment.
"The Rapture Family?" Richard questioned.
"Yes, the Rapture Family.”—Do you know the Muffin Man? The Muffin Man? The Muffin Man! (STOP THIS)

I don't see the problem :o


• What’s in a name? Will Richard be getting “rich” any time soon, or is this a random name? You may want to consider these small details, as the names of characters in stories (as literary usage goes) are 90% of the information of the story

Rich is just a shortened form of Richard.


• “you will be telling in hell”—Rapture, “hell”? Is Richard Christian?

If you're trying to say Rapture is hell, this was before everything fell apart.

All in all I thank you a lot for pointing these things out and such :) I'll have to be going back and redoing certain parts, fixing sentences, words, etc. I would like you to stop by more frequently to help me out as this progresses :)

[x IZ A KITTY]

All in all I thank you a lot for pointing these things out and such :) I'll have to be going back and redoing certain parts, fixing sentences, words, etc. I would like you to stop by more frequently to help me out as this progresses :)

Not a problem, darling. I know I can be quite harsh, especially in this type of subject matter. This is why I usually never finish any of my works... I'm usually too critical of myself and get upset with what I write.

I've only written a few chapters of my BioShock fan-fiction, and I started writing that a couple of years before BioShock 2 came out.. I'm just constantly revising and criticizing it. :L

But I do applaud your effort to continue on with a story with full enthusiasm. Now that you've made your point about certain aspects of your story, I can understand your style and respect that. I'll keep my eyes open in this forum for new material. ;]



editz: also, this; “you will be telling in hell”—Rapture, “hell”? Is Richard Christian?--I was quoting from when Richard was about to kill Marco. I should have quoted the entire statement, but I just wanted to find out what Richard (or you) meant by "hell", haha.

cheers~

-kitty XP

[O'Malley de Bough]

editz: also, this; “you will be telling in hell”—Rapture, “hell”? Is Richard Christian?--I was quoting from when Richard was about to kill Marco. I should have quoted the entire statement, but I just wanted to find out what Richard (or you) meant by "hell", haha.

cheers~

-kitty XP

It was like the standard "All bad people end up in Hell" sort of deal.

[GreenMind]

man! i remember when this story was just a tiny youngin, now look at it. growing up so fast! this is really good, i like the direction it's taking

[O'Malley de Bough]

man! i remember when this story was just a tiny youngin, now look at it. growing up so fast! this is really good, i like the direction it's taking

Yep this all started out with one piece of paper;)

[ZOMSTER13]

A bioshock book? Genius!!!!!!!!!

[Phil Isadore]

I was thinking of writing my own short story. Any advice?

[ZOMSTER13]

I was thinking of writing my own short story. Any advice?

Involves Bioshock

[O'Malley de Bough]

I was thinking of writing my own short story. Any advice?

1. Make it something of your own. I didn't use any of the Bioshock characters as my main character. I did not want that, and it seems to have worked.

2. If you use characters of the Bioshock games in your story, give them the same qualities that they have in the games.

3. Make it interesting!

4. Have fun while you do it ;)

[ZOMSTER13]

1. Make it something of your own. I didn't use any of the Bioshock characters as my main character. I did not want that, and it seems to have worked.

2. If you use characters of the Bioshock games in your story, give them the same qualities that they have in the games.

3. Make it interesting!

4. Have fun while you do it ;)

You guys are lucky, when ever i try to write something i could never stick with it.

[Phil Isadore]

Thanks for the advice!
I think I'll wait to write my story until after your done. That way e eryone can finish reading your story without distractions and then later on (hopefully) mine! :D

[O'Malley de Bough]

Thanks for the advice!
I think I'll wait to write my story until after your done. That way e eryone can finish reading your story without distractions and then later on (hopefully) mine! :D

There is a possibility I may not finish my story for all to see :(

I'm waiting for an email from 2K so I can get some things sorted out and stuff.

[that_splicer_guy]

cant wait, youll be bigger than stephanie meyer (your more talented too)

[ZOMSTER13]

cant wait, youll be bigger than stephanie meyer (your more talented too)

Definetly, Bioshock is a master piece of a story. Their stories will be great!!!!!!!!:) :) :)

[O'Malley de Bough]

cant wait, youll be bigger than stephanie meyer (your more talented too)

I personally agree with that, because I think she is a horrible author :o

[JustJaceTheDJ]

A bioshock book? Genius!!!!!!!!!

that's really weird, I was thinking about that idea earlier in the week.

[ZOMSTER13]

that's really weird, I was thinking about that idea earlier in the week.

I did too, but i could never write one

[x IZ A KITTY]

that's really weird, I was thinking about that idea earlier in the week.

There's one coming out, and I believe Kevin Levine wrote it. It was supposed to be published in October of 2009, but the date got delayed to June 2010 of this year. I'm not sure what it's called, but it's supposed to be about 400 pages. I know it's definitely being published by Tor Books (sci-fi and fantasy publisher company).

[ZOMSTER13]

There's one coming out, and I believe Kevin Levine wrote it. It was supposed to be published in October of 2009, but the date got delayed to June 2010 of this year. I'm not sure what it's called, but it's supposed to be about 400 pages. I know it's definitely being published by Tor Books (sci-fi and fantasy publisher company).

Thats awsome

[O'Malley de Bough]

If I could be published, I wouldn't have to worry about funding college lol

[ZOMSTER13]

If I could be published, I wouldn't have to worry about funding college lol

Keep it up and you will

[MaxMasonGM]

There's one coming out, and I believe Kevin Levine wrote it. It was supposed to be published in October of 2009, but the date got delayed to June 2010 of this year. I'm not sure what it's called, but it's supposed to be about 400 pages. I know it's definitely being published by Tor Books (sci-fi and fantasy publisher company).

once again you astound me hahaha. i had no idea this was in the works

[Mr. Person]

New page soon?

Lol im surprised there havnt been legal issues yet


unless im just being stupid nad pretending to know things about law and its perfectly legal to amke a spin off story...

what?

[GreenMind]

New page soon?

Lol im surprised there havnt been legal issues yet


unless im just being stupid nad pretending to know things about law and its perfectly legal to amke a spin off story...

what?

i dont see how a fanfic like this is illegal, it's just for fun and no profit is being made from it. lets say the story was being sold to buyers, then it would probably violate some copyright law

[Phil Isadore]

Is O'Malley writing anything, I really want to read some more.